Two commonly used terms when talking about relationships, especially couple relationships where two people share their lives, are the words of love and intimacy. Between these two words there is an exciting interaction.
Most can probably agree that it is easier to be intimate, open up, to be yourself fully if there is a strong love in the relationship. In contrast, we can note that it is not as easy to be intimate with a group of strangers on the bus on the way to work one morning. So, if love exists, it is easier to be intimate. In visual terms, we can use the following picture to illustrate how love leads the way to intimacy.
If we flip the reasoning the other way around most can probably recall a time in life when someone opened up for you, showed sides of themselves that they rarely dare to show otherwise. If they did so from a place that was true and genuine in them, you can probably agree to the fact that this increased your love for that person. With this reasoning we can also add to our illustration that intimacy is the breeding ground for love.
This way we are left with a cycle, the question is how it starts? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? In this case, I think the question is easier to answer if we take the perspective that love is a feeling. Something that I do not necessarily have full control over in relationship to others. It is not simply just a matter of deciding that now I will feel hot, exuberant love for you, or even a strong love for you.
It easily happens with the passing of weeks, months and years that love wears off slowly until we wake up one day and realize that our love relationship has become a friend relationship. How did that happen?
So the part of the cycle that we can most easily affect is how intimate we choose to be. This is where we can make the active choice to create intimacy or undermine the same. This is where we can fertilize the soil that love shall grow in. This is where we can add dynamics, polarity, and new aspects of the relationship that makes love continue to sprout and grow roots deeper into the soil.