Four Warning Signs
There are four warning signs to be on the lookout for. These may be signs that trust or respect, or both, are on track to be reduced in the relationship. The four warning signs are resistance, resentment, rejection and repression.
They appear in that order, and if we do not handle the situations at the first warning sign, we proceed to the next one. You can read another article that delves deeper in the four warning signs, but for the scope of this article we will make a quick summary here.
A quick summary
Resistance is when we start thinking negative thoughts about for example on of our partner's behaviors, resentment means that those thought will have a strong emotional charge of perhaps irritation or anger.
Rejection means that we renounce our partner emotionally and begin to fantasize about finding a new partner. Repression means a definitive dejection where we suppress our feelings and thus lose both the openly negative emotions in relationships, as well as the positive ones.
Get out of the downward spiral in any situation
When you encounter a situation such as a conflict where you feel threatened or not respected, it might be good to have an approach to fall back on in order to interrupt what is happening. An excellent way is to breathe through the heart.
Agree amongst each other that this is something that one partner may call or request at any time in a discussion. Make it a rule in your relationships that when either one wants to breathe into their heart, both must take a break from the discussion and do so for at least two minutes.
Research on breathing through your heart
Research has shown that brain waves change if we shift our focus to breathe through the heart. The energy waves of the brain and heart become in sync with each other.
If you do this properly, you will see that which originally sparked the debate from an entirely new perspective and one that is healthier for the relationship.
To breathe through the heart goes as follows. Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes and breathe deeply into the heart. Do this for at least two minutes. During this time think of things that you are grateful for in your life and in your relationship.
Also ask yourself questions such as; "What do I need to remember or think about this situation to feel free?", or "What do I need to do to feel that?".
This article is written by Filippa and Markus Amanto. They have jointly created the web site about relationships - RelationshipSchool.com. By the Relationship school, they want to reach out to in particular couples, but also to people in other forms of relationships.