Warning 3: Rejection

Rejection occurs when there has been built up so much resistance and resentment that it becomes impossible for you to maintain an emotional connection with your partner. You pull away. You turn off, both emotionally and sexually.

You may say things like: "I do not want to talk about this any more." You may leave the room, rushing out of the house or you just shut off and refuse to give your partner any attention, or even pretend that they do not exist.

How to identify rejection

You can identify rejection when you continously feel that you do not want to be with your partner or you always take the opposite view or approach compared to theirs. Another feature is the fantasies of others or of being unfaithful and having an affair.

Rejection is the natural consequence of carrying around accumulated resentment. You are not able to be close to your partner, or relate to him or her without experiencing all of your accumulated tension and resentment. You handle this by pushing these feelings away from you to get a temporary relief.

Your sex life goes down the drain

Unless your sex life has not deteriorated considerably already, it will definitely happen here. You may find that you still love your partner and feel love for him or her, but there is no longer an attraction. There is no longer any romantic feelings.

The thought of sex can feel disgusting or even repulsive. It may also be that your interest in sex with your partner simply is not there anymore.

The consequences

If you live in the belief that divorce can help you will probably decide to end the relationship in this part of the tunnel. A relationship that ends when the parties are in this part of the tunnel, in the domains of rejection, will almost certainly lead to a painful and bitter separation.

If you still do not convey your emotions, which can be a challenge now that they have collected so much energy, you have soon swept under the rug so much that it no longer possible to get into or out of the house.

Life is monotonous, without lust for life or joy. Most of all, the step into the darkes part of the tunnel becomes unavoidable, the part where the repression lives.

Warning 4: Repression

This warning sign is no longer just a warning sign, it is a state of emotional death. It is the most dangerous part of the tunnel.

You end up here when you are so tired of fighting that you successfully suppress all your negative feelings in order to maintain domestic peace, for "family's sake" or so it will not look bad in the eyes of people outside the relationship.

You feel that "there is no point in trying anymore, let's forget the whole thing, I'm too tired to do anything about it." You stop caring.


Two people holding hands

Start your studies

Access to all 26 classes is free and includes letters, articles and video.

No registration is required.

See classes and get started!