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Healing Relational Trauma In The Body – Sharon Stanley – SC 173

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Unsure why certain interactions with loved ones get you so upset? Ever struggle to relate to the hardship of others?

Psychotherapist Sharon Stanley says the issue could be trauma, trauma you may not even be aware you have. Once we assess our own trauma we can begin exercising our senses and become more compassionate to others.

According to Sharon, we owe it to ourselves and to each other to consider the pain in our pasts, only then can we embody true empathy!

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

      • Who is Sharon Stanley? [6:00]
      • The best ways to connect with a traumatized person [11:00]
      • Interacting with a partner with trauma [16:00]
      • Building strength within the body to address trauma [20:00]
      • Are you dealing with trauma? [25:00]
      • The cost of ignoring trauma [26:00]
      • Is neglect the worst type of trauma? [30:00]
      • The importance of being embodied [35:00]

 

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Dr. Sharon Stanley is a psychotherapist, educator and writer living on Bainbridge Island, Washington. As a long time student of Dr. Allan Schore, Sharon has integrated a number of somatic practices for healing trauma into an elegant, cohesive, relational and phenomenological model of psychotherapy, Somatic Transformation. At the core of Somatic Transformation is the practice of feeling into another’s inner world; a bodily based attunement, connectivity and inquiry that animates the intersubjective field and
guides the use of somatic interventions and reflection. Grounded in relational research on trauma, guided by the Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges, inspired by the soul work of Donald Kalsched, Sharon has taught this model to hundreds of practitioners over the past 20 years. She continues to explore somatic ways of knowing, relating and psychological processing from a phenomenological perspective through the lenses of her own clinical practice, neuroscience and nature-based practices. In addition to her in-depth courses for practicing psychotherapists, Sharon has worked extensively with First Nations people in Canada, studied Afro-Brazilian practices of healing the residue of the trauma of slavery in Brazil and is currently on the faculty for Antioch University in Seattle. In 2016, Routledge published her book: Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past. (2016) Routledge.

 

Zen Parenting With Cathy & Todd – SC 172

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Struggling to assume the “parent role”? Wondering why ALWAYS putting your family first isn’t working? Check out what this smart couple has to say.

Cathy and Todd Adams of the Zen Parenting Podcast shared their tips for building respectful, high-functioning relationships with family members. And surprise, they say you don’t even have to change yourself, just be yourself.

Turns out being real and just hanging out with the people you love may be the secret to the relationship joy you seek.

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

      • What is Zen Parenting Radio? [5:00]
      • Todd & Cathy’s story [8:00]
      • Cathy’s post-pregnancy identity crisis [12:00]
      • You can’t make your partner like what you like [15:00]
      • Todd’s wake up call [17:00]
      • When “husband’ is a loaded term [31:00]
      • The ugly side of “Happy wife, happy life” [33:00]
      • Getting out of your kids way [36:00]
      • Drop the parent “role” and be a role model [39:00]
      • Keep your parenting baggage to yourself [44:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

~Cathy is a self-awareness expert, podcast host, & author focused on parenting and the personal empowerment of women and young girls. She’s a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Parent Coach, Certified Elementary School Teacher, Certified Yoga Teacher, and she teaches in the Sociology Department at Dominican University and Elmhurst College.
~Todd is the co-host of the Zen Parenting Radio podcast and a certified life coach who focuses on supporting guys in finding a healthy work/family balance. He focuses on marriage, parenting, career, overall self-awareness and life enjoyment.

 

Porn Vs Having Sex With A Real Person – Gary Wilson – SC 171

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Why do so many men use porn? What is it doing for them?

I think it’s obvious that porn can ruin your relationship, but what’s not so obvious is why so many men use porn. What is going on inside the male brain.

I have my own theories but I wanted to hear from THE porn expert on this…

 


Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

      • About Gary [5:00]
      • The link between chronic erectile dysfunction and porn use [11:00]
      • How do you know when porn use is a problem? [13:00]
      • Can people use porn in a healthy way? [16:00]
      • Why are people using porn? [19:00]
      • How many women are watching porn? [23:00]
      • Religion and porn [22:00]
      • When men use porn for ‘stress relief’ [27:00]
      • How internet porn is shaping our sexuality [36:00]
      • How to heal porn addiction through relationship [48:00]

 

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Gary Wilson is presenter of the popular TEDx talk ‘The Great Porn Experiment,’ which has been viewed more than 9 million times, and translated into 18 languages. He is also the author of a popular book, Your Brain On Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction. He hosts the website ‘Your Brain On Porn’, which was created for those seeking to understand and reverse compulsive porn use: http://yourbrainonporn.com. He taught anatomy and physiology for years and has long been interested in the neurochemistry of addiction, mating and bonding. In 2015 the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health presented Wilson with its Media Award for outstanding media contributions and public education on pornography addiction. In 2016, Wilson coauthored an academic paper with 7 US Navy doctors entitled, “Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions? A Review with Clinical Reports” and another journal article entitled, “Eliminate Chronic Internet Pornography Use to Reveal Its Effects.” He donates his share of the proceeds from his book to a registered charity that is endeavoring to raise awareness about internet porn’s unprecedented effects.

 

Overcoming The ‘Nice Guy’ Syndrome – Robert Glover – SC 170

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I used to try really hard to get people to think I was a good guy. This is another version of the “nice guy syndrome.”

And, it had a big cost.

If you are a nice guy, or you are with a “nice guy” you’re going to want to listen to this one because it’s quite possible the “nice guy” thing is going to really damage your relationship over time (If it hasn’t already).

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

      • About Robert [6:00]
      • How does someone become a Nice Guy? [11:00]
      • Robert’s definition of a Nice Guy [12:00]
      • The paradox of Nice Guy Syndrome [13:00]
      • The cultural belief that ‘masculine is bad’ [25:00]
      • The trap of disowning the masculine [28:00]
      • Tips for increasing self-worth [34:00]
      • How to stop people-pleasing [36:00]
      • How to meet your own needs [42:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Dr. Robert Glover is the author of the bestselling book, No More
Mr. Nice Guy. His website drglover.com features numerous online
self-help courses, workshops, podcasts, groups, and trained
coaches and therapists. Dr. Glover lives in Puerto Vallarta,
Mexico.

 

 

Dan Savage Vs Jayson Gaddis on Monogamy – SC 169

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Dan Savage is known for his criticism of monogamy. But what is he missing and why does he think it’s a disaster waiting to happen? Listen as Jayson takes a swing in Dan’s direction.

Dan Savage’s full speech can be found here:

SHOWNOTES:

  • Introducing Dan Savage 1:30
  • Dan Savage on why monogamy does not work 3:00
  • Is every monogamous relationship a disaster waiting to happen? 5:30
  • The potency of ‘leaning in’ 7:00
  • Monogamy as an expression of learning to love 9:00

HELPFUL LINKS

How To Avoid Dating Narcissistic Men After 40 – Bobbi Palmer – SC 168

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If you are serious about not dating another narcissistic man, and you are an awesome woman over 40, 50, or 60, this episode is for you. My guest Bobbi Palmer, of “Date like a grown up” has some great advice for how to stay true to you and get what you want.

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

    • About Bobbi [10:00]
    • How Bobbi met and married the man of her dreams within 6 months [13:00]
    • Getting clear on what matters and what doesn’t [15:00]
    • Talking politics, religion, family and finances on the first date [17:00]
    • How people hide from love behind their careers [20:00]
    • About the ‘Narcissistic Guy’ [28:00]
    • 3 Principles of Dating Like A Grown-Up [36:00]
    • The challenge for older women who are dating [45:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Bobbi Palmer, founder and CEO of Date Like a Grownup, is an internationally recognized expert who guides over-40 women to the peace, passion and partnership that comes with loving, grownup relationship.
Bobbi has lived your story. Fed up with being single and determined to succeed in her
romantic life (like she had in the rest of her life), she worked her butt off to figure
out ‘the love thing’ and became a first time bride at age 47. Now joyfully married, she
walks her talk every day as she helps women do what she did: learn how to love and be
loved by a good man.
Bobbi gives you the compassion of a woman with firsthand experience of how it feels being single at this time of life, along with the skill of a highly successful adult educator. As she says: “There is nothing wrong with you. There are just some things you don’t yet know.”
Bobbi has been featured on The Today Show, Huffington Post, NPR, Women’s World magazine, Match.com, eHarmony.com, AARP and numerous other TV, radio and print outlets. Visit her at www.datelikeagrownup.com.