Jayson, Author at The Relationship School®

If Your Partner Made You Listen To This Podcast – SC 135

Do you have a friend or partner telling you to listen to this podcast? Don’t know where to start and feel pressured to get ‘up to speed’? This episode is for you.

SHOWNOTES

Should you listen to this podcast? [1:00]
Why you SHOULD be skeptical [2:00]
How to show your partner that you care about the relationship in your own way [5:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

Ayahuasca, Trauma, & Relationships – Dr Gabor Maté – SC 134

There’s been a surge in alternative, traditional methods to healing our deepest wounds. One of the main approaches that has gained popularity here in America is the use of the traditional South American brew, Ayahuasca, in guided ceremonies.

Dr Gabor Maté, renowned addiction expert, and writer, is back for a second conversation to discuss the benefits & cautions to using Ayahuasca. In this conversation, we also discuss many natural (non-medicinal) methods to healing trauma through the power of present-moment awareness practices, safe relationships and creating space for healing.

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

Where Western medicine succeeds & fails [11:00]
What traditional rituals can teach us about healing [13:00]
How Ayahuasca works and why it’s used [16:00]
Finding the roots of our trauma [29:00]
Dealing with trauma using present-moment awareness [32:00]
Why we need to create space in our lives for healing and rest [38:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

A renowned speaker, and bestselling author, Dr. Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress and childhood development. Rather than offering quick-fix solutions to these complex issues, Dr. Maté weaves together scientific research, case histories, and his own insights and experience to present a broad perspective that enlightens and empowers people to promote their own healing and that of those around them.

For twelve years Dr. Maté worked in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside with patients challenged by hard-core drug addiction, mental illness and HIV, including at Vancouver’s Supervised Injection Site. With over 20 years of family practice and palliative care experience and extensive knowledge of the latest findings of leading-edge research, Dr. Maté is a sought-after speaker and teacher, regularly addressing health professionals, educators, and lay audiences throughout North America and internationally.

As an author, Dr. Maté has written several bestselling books including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction; When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress (published in the United States as When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection); and Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder (published in the United States as Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What you Can Do About It), and co-authored Hold on to Your Kids. His works have been published internationally in twenty languages.

Dr. Maté is the co-founder of Compassion for Addiction, a new non-profit that focuses on addiction. He is also an advisor of Drugs over Dinner. Dr. Maté has received the Hubert Evans Prize for Literary Non-Fiction; an Honorary Degree (Law) from the University of Northern British Columbia; an Outstanding Alumnus Award from Simon Fraser University; the 2012 Martin Luther King Humanitarian Award from Mothers Against Teen Violence; and the 2012 AccolAIDS award for Health Promotion and Harm Reduction, Positive Living Society of B.C.. He is an adjunct professor in the Faculty of Criminology, Simon Fraser University.

Asking For What You Need Without Making Threats – SC 133

How often do you find yourself wanting to ask for something in your relationship – more communication, more time & attention, more touch – only to find yourself holding back out of fear?
Expressing (or confessing) our needs can feel scary and edgy. If it’s a ‘non-negotiable need’ it’s easy to feel like you’re threatening the relationship with an ultimatum: “I need this or I’m out”.

So do you hold back, hoping your partner will come around on their own (and getting more resentful when they don’t)? Or do you bring your needs to the table and cross your fingers, hoping it all goes well?

This episode will teach you how to get your needs met, without feeling you’re making a threat to the relationship.

QUESTION
You speak of stating and sticking by your Non-Negotiable Needs, but you also say to never threaten to walk away from the relationship. So how do you stick up for yourself and your NNN’s without the threat of walking away hanging around in the background — isn’t it implied that you’ll be leaving if your NNN’s aren’t met? I am missing how to do this properly. -Jessica

SHOWNOTES

Does having needs make you ‘needy’? [1:00]
Communicating your needs to your partner in a non-threatening way [3:00]
When your needs aren’t compatible with your partner’s [6:00]
Getting your needs met without threatening the relationship [7:00]
When you have a need for more communication and connection than he can give you [8:00]
Your action step [9:30]

HELPFUL LINKS

70% of Teens Want More Guidance About Romantic Relationships – Richard Weissbourd – SC 132

Finally about the real research that backs up the mission of The Relationship School®. Not only are teens NOT being educated about romantic relationships, but 70% of teens and young adults are WANTING more help and guidance around their love relationships. This is outstanding news because it’s been a major void. In this episode, I speak with lead researcher Richard Weissbourd about his 5-year study with over 3000 teens and young adults on romantic relationships. If you are a parent, or want to be one, this is a must listen.

SHOWNOTES

How love evolves over the course of a relationship (and why that’s a good thing) [9:00]
Why relationships aren’t being taught in school [14:00]
The truth about teen hookup culture [20:00]
Learning to talk about relationships and sex with our kids [23:00]
Why it’s important to challenge misconceptions about romantic love [25:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Richard Weissbourd, faculty director of MCC, is a psychologist and lecturer at Harvard. He teaches at both the Harvard Graduate School of Education, where he directs the Human Development and Psychology Program, and at the Harvard Kennedy School. His current work focuses on children’s moral and ethical development, how parents can raise more caring children, and how adults can mentor teenagers and young adults to develop ethical and mature romantic relationships. He has written for numerous scholarly and popular publications and blogs, including The New York Times, The Huffington Post, CNN, The New Republic, NPR and Psychology Today. Read more here.

When You Refuse To Accept Your Husband’s Parenting Style – SC 131

QUESTION
My husband’s parents have told me in the past (to them it’s funny) about how harsh they were with him as a baby and as a young child. This might explain why when our newborn has meltdowns he sometimes gets frustrated to the point of telling her to ‘shut up’ and at times handling her a little rougher than I feel comfortable with. I understand where my husband is coming from, given his past, but I refuse to allow my daughter to grow up with that kind of treatment or to allow her to be his experiment as he learns how to manage his hurt and frustration.

How can I approach my husband with concerns about how he treats our child?
– Christina in South Florida

SHOWNOTES

When your partner crosses the ‘safety’ line with your child [1:00]
The tricky game of setting boundaries in parenting [3:00]
If your partner is unwilling to change their parenting style [5:00]
What to do when you’ve reached your emotional limit with persistent tantrums [6:00]

HELPFUL LINKS