This episode was a lot of fun. Former dedicated David Deida student Adam Gilad brings some excellent advice during this dialogue. We cover fatherhood, dating, marriage, and why Adam couldn’t do relationship early on and what he “figured out” along the way. He also shares his most recent wedding vows and so much more. I think you’re in for a treat here.
SHOWNOTES:
What lead Adam to teach about relationship? [3:55]
[In the world of online dating,] learn what women are saying..and what men are saying.
A personal share from Jayson: re-writing marriage vows [12:30]
The #1 thing that made Adam ready for deep relationship [13:40]
Adam shares his “one vow to rule them all” [15:55]
Reframe: the idea of marriage as “hard work” [18:10]
Playing the infinite game of love [25:10]
Why do people hold back on asking for what they need/want in relationship? [25:10]
The difference between finding and inspiring love [29:25]
The 3 ways to inspire love [33:20]
Adam’s answer to inspired marriages [43:15]
Adam brings a vulnerable share [44:55]
Jayson and Adam swap stories of being a father [47:40]
[bctt tweet=”I don’t believe in finding love…I believe in inspiring love, inspiring a partner.”]
BONUS: Listen to Adam’s vulnerable share about a serious battle with shame in the jungle with ayahuasca here http://www.jaysongaddis.com/cocktalk/. You’ll need to sign up, and look out for an email.
A prolific author, speaker, screenwriter, film producer, mentor and coach, Adam Gilad lives to spark his readers, clients and audiences into creating a robust, daring and fearless life of love, adventure and nurturance. An Emmy Nominated Executive Producer, Adam’s award-winning films have appeared on USANetworks, Lifetime and TNT. He has authored over 20 television shows and teaches dating, intimacy and deep eros. Adam has authored countless audio trainings and written several books, specializing in learning the “language” of the other gender, cultivating a dance of the sexes rather than a “battle,” the play of sexual polarity as well as a determined fearlessness in self-awareness, self-evolution, global responsibility, compassion and forgiveness.
In this 2nd installment of AMAR (Ask Me Anything about Relationships) I dive into your burning questions and it gets a little intense in there! Thanks for bringing it everyone!
SHOWNOTES:
There’s a lot of great questions in here including:
How to relate to someone who’s depressed [5:30]
How to find a great marriage counselor [17:45]
How to get over years of resentments [26:35]
What to do if someone is passive aggressive with you [34:25]
And more!
[bctt tweet=”We don’t tend to attract a new type of person until we have shifted internally somehow.”]
Marriage success, over time, isn’t about Band-Aids. It’s about building a foundation from the ground up that’s badass and indestructible.
This is a pretty charged issue. On the one hand, some people really believe divorce is one of the major culprits to kid’s problems. On the other hand, newer research suggests that kids are fine coming from divorced families, and in fact may even be more resilient and capable of handling life’s challenges. If you really think divorce is going to mess up your kids, think again…Listen in, then weigh in with a comment below.
SHOWNOTES:
The erroneous assumption that comes along with divorce statistics [3:00]
Do you want to show your children how to be a human being, navigating the ups and downs of life? Do you want to be transparent about that journey? Or do you want to hide out and pretend like you know what you’re doing and teach that to your kids?
What is the real issue here? [8:10]
The problem with divorce/marriage research [11:45]
[bctt tweet=”Kids who struggle relationally come from families who struggle relationally.”]
What I suggest you do if you are in a dead marriage [15:15]
Relationship tools to use if you want to avoid divorce [17:20]
Co-dependency gets a bad rap in most circles. I used to shame it as well. Yet, as I’ve matured, I’ve come to see that there is a lot of value to be found in co-dependency, yet it’s important to know the difference between the more neurotic kind and the wisdom kind. In this episode I go into what co-dependency is, where it comes from, and how we can relate to it with grace and honesty in our long-term relationships.
SHOWNOTES:
How does Jayson define co-dependency? [1:30]
Our two fundamental drives as human beings [3:40]
[bctt tweet=”Co-dependency is a necessary and required part of long-term partnership.”]
The dance of authentic co-dependency [12:00]
What’s cool about the drive to be authentic… [17:00]
“I love you, but I’m not inlove with you…” Maybe you’ve heard this one before, or even said it yourself to someone you were breaking up with? I know I have in past relationships. If you’ve used this statement, or been on the receiving end of it, you need to listen to this podcast. There’s much more to the story. Find out by listening in…
SHOWNOTES:
A common statement in relationship, but the real meaning behind it [1:50]
A more honest statement to use instead [5:15]
[bctt tweet=”Love is the balance of opposites…when we embrace someone’s darkness and their light.”]
What is supposed to happen in a real relationship? [11:30]
What happens when we don’t learn how to love [13:45]
< This episode was a lot of fun. Terry Real brings the heat for women and men using what he calls “fierce intimacy.” While this episode is for both men and women, it is largely geared toward women who are with a guy who’s not fully on board. He has some great advice for women, while at the same time challenges men to develop their relationship skills. I know you’ll dig this one.SHOWNOTES:
Beginning of interview [4:30]
Terry shares how he came to be interested in relationship work [5:00]
What is “fierce intimacy”? [7:20]
[bctt tweet=”The way you keep a relationship real is to keep it dangerous. – Terry Real”]
The difference between a good man and a great man [12:30]
Advice for young millennial men [15:00]
What Terry says to women who are frustrated with their men [19:30]
A lot of men who wont do the work for themselves or for the marriage, will get it and rise to the occasion for the sake of… [23:00]
Speak softly, and carry a big stick. – Terry Real
3 key steps for women to work with their shutdown men (this is very good) [26:oo]
[bctt tweet=”It’s one thing to complain about what you’re not getting, it’s a lot more vulnerable to receive it. – Terry Real” via=”no”]
Should women reward their man’s effort with sex? [32:45]
The design flaw in the way most therapists do therapy [40:10]
Terry’s Website Terry’s course: Love and Trauma A simple tip to get your man to come forward: jaysongaddis.com/helpmymanABOUT: Terry Real, married for over 30 years! is an internationally recognized Family Therapist, Speaker and Author. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute (RLI), offering workshops for couples, individuals and parents around the country along with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his RLT (Relational Life Therapy) methodology. A family therapist and teacher for more than twenty five years, Terry is the best-selling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Scribner, 1997), the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women (Scribner, 2002), and most recently The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work (Random House). Terry knows how to lead couples on a step-by-step journey to greater intimacy — and greater personal fulfillment. Dude’s got a very long bio, you can read more here.
