For most of my adult life, everyone else needed to change. It couldn’t have been me, because I had done the work! I had gone through therapy, studied hard for my job skills, and I knew what not to be as a partner for women. And yet, I had consistent trouble in all of my high stakes relationships. Work, girlfriends, family, my wife before we got married, you name it. Everyone else sucked, not me!
Eventually, this caught up with me. I’ve lost more than one job, and I’ve disappointed many women. One day, the truth of how closed off and hidden from my own self I was hit me in the face, when my (now) wife saw the real me plain as day and it broke her heart.
I knew at that moment that I didn’t want to lose her. So I finally took a deeper look inward. I found the Relationship School podcast and I faced my own bullsh-t. I hired a coach. I started taking personal responsibility for my life and owning my needs. A couple of years later I enrolled in and graduated from Relationship Mastery and then got certified as a Relationship Coach.
Today, I am in a rock solid and secure marriage that is not 50/50, it’s 100 and 100. I own all of my part, and she owns all of her part. We talk about our needs openly and with loving support and challenge for each other. I am fully allowed to be myself in front of her without shame or fear that I will lose her love and connection. She knows it all, more than any other woman in my life has ever known.
At work, my coworkers look up to me. My boss told me that he’s inspired by me. I know how to repair after a conflict. I know how to communicate to others what to expect of me and what I expect of them. I can share feedback and impact from a place of care for the other person and our relationship.
I still get stuck in life. I still make other people the problem sometimes. No matter how much we learn in this process, we are still going to have our triggers and blocks. Now I have the skills and resources to own my choices, get to repair, and make a change. That’s what I want for you.
Are you tired of your scared and hurt child showing up and driving your actions when things get hard at work, at home, or with your family of origin? Are you stuffing your needs down and afraid to ask for them from the people you love? Do you want to find out who you really are, own your sh-t and make a change? Talk to me today.