I’m getting more determined, to notice what I do, how I feel and why, what I need, keep that attentive-focus on myself that I used to only shine on others, especially my man. I am feeling a lot more self-reliant. Proud of the boundaires I’ve (kindly) set and the steps I’ve taken to make ME happy…thats all snowballing, making me feel more powerful. And letting go of how he’s going to take that. That’s been huge. His emotions/responses/ineer work are not my responsibility….and that shit feels FREEING. I feel a lot less burdened.

MY HUBBY IS SHOWING UP MORE THEN EVER BEFORE!!!! THANKS!

I finally figured out how to soothe myself. I nest. I calm. I quiet. I relax. I knit the quilt of self awareness, self knowing and calm. And then he is suddenly THERE.  Three and a half years and he looks at me like he’s just discovered me, and I’ve just discovered him, like I’m the ocean and he’s an island. Or maybe the other way around. But it’s profound. I’ve taken WAY longer than 30 days. Started this in June I think. Now October. Not told him, not asked, not pushed. Been working on me. Quieting, gentling, calming. Now, all at once, he’s here.

I got a two feet in signal!! He said “I’ll do whatever it takes,” as if he had read my notes from that part of the course. So now I am resisting the effort to bombard him with options (just a few a time as I feel requests for help coming in….)

I did this when my marriage was healing from a recent separation. It really helped both me, and by proxy, my husband. It shifted my mindset back to myself and what I need, want, and need to fix for myself, and by removing that stress from my husband it helped solidify my feelings and assisted in repairing our relationship.

Go through the course. Ultimately, it is about you. Do it for you. no matter what happens with him.He’d ask me to wait for him to get his shit together and then he’d tell me not to wait. I felt like my heart was being broken over and over agian and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I took the course. I wrote him a letter where I owned my shit, called him on his, and shared my non-negotiable needs. He took 3 weeks to respond before he finally tole me that everything I said was valid but he couldn’t meet anyones needs right now.  Take the 30 days. It won’t be a waste of time, that I can promise.

Life changing for me. I’m using other tools/resources as well which include the Boundaries book and video series through a local support group, classes/books by Jeff Brown which led me to mindfulness and somatic work. The combination has been truly life changing for myself and everyone I interact with. I’m able to communicate my triggers, needs, boundaries in a way people can hear that I NEVER have been able to do before so I’m happy to support Jayson. Good luck to you in your journey.

I bought Jayson and Ellen’s attachment class. It helped me shift into a new perspective. Specifically the pro-self vs pro-relationship attitude. I realized that I have been trying to get my (partner) to be pro relationship when he has always been pro self. We go in a cycle of me trying to get him to be pro relationship by making choices that are win win for us. But, he refuses. At which point- I go pro self and we repeat the cycle again. The new class helped me to see that it’s his move that this relationship hinges on. Without a pro relationship shift in him there will never be movement.

It helped me to remember what I want, and how I want to be treated and related to in a marriage, and gave me tools to look at myself and my situation differently instead of from a victim stance. I did it without telling my husband as I had just left, so I did it for my own clarification. As a result of my actions, unbeknown to me, he enrolled in another of Jaysons courses, and with the new skills we learnt we have enriched our relationship and have great skills to develop our marriage with. Hard stuff to work through for sure but ultimately rewarding.I wish I had known the material in ESH when I was a teenager.

Eureka! It’s me! I’ve been shut down. I’ve been hiding! I buried my authentic visual looks like a locomotive dead on the tracks & the cars juxtaposed behind it. It’s my way of seeing me walking away from a trainload of self-imposed negativity. I am skipping down the tracks, away from the wreckage, holding hands w/ Joy (looks like sunshine w/ legs) and Freedom (in a purple satin suit)! When my hubby’s alarm went off, I thanked him for telling me to relax last night & said I’d been bitchy because he & our daughter (15) roll their eyes @ my woo-woo ways. So grateful Jayson’s work crossed my path.

So I have to say a massive big thank you to Jayson Gaddis and all you wonderful ladies out there!! After my last post when I stated that I was going to accept it was all over and move on, and me spending a day and a half doing that quite successfully, I was inundated with messages from my man. Long story short, we are back together and he is doing everything that is outlined in the reasons to stay! I am ecstatic. So glad I’m doing this course, and so not giving up, I’ve learnt so many good strategies, and still so much to learn I’m sure. Again an enormous thank you to all of you

“Having been with women who are willing to be vulnerable and share, both their fears as well as their strengths and “lessons”, inspired me and gave me a greater perspective on my own situation. It increased my realization of the reality I am experiencing in my “relationship” instead of my own story about it. And, I feel supported, seen and heard….which increases my courage and confidence. Thank you!