“If only my partner would change, I would be happy and fulfilled.” “I can’t be myself and be in a fulfilling relationship.” I spent years exhausting these beliefs to discover a dead end. It wasn’t until i took accountability for my own experience and my own needs that I discovered the magical open road to authentic connections.
Ever since I was a little girl I had a fascination with men and romantic relationships. In high school I wrote an advice column on dating. But alas, my conditioning told me that this passion wouldn’t pay the bills or earn me a seat at society’s table. So I chose a career in the environmental sciences. Even though it wasn’t my true calling, I’m grateful for this path because I learned some valuable lessons.
I spent 12 years in the field of environmental science, researching the ways the transportation industry affects the environment. I discovered that even the tiniest impact can create a ripple effect and over time can incrementally create a big mess, sometimes irreversible damage.
We have a similar dynamic in our human relationships; the slight nod, the sigh that was just a tad too long, the embrace that was a little stiffer than normal. So subtle we don’t even realize that these perceived slights have built up as tension and patterns in our bodies and have fed beliefs about a story of ourselves that, in order to survive, we must maintain.
Now, I want to help others cut through the bullshit in their lives and see how simple it can be to transform your relationships and at the same time empower yourself to be the most authentic version you can possibly be.
I am living proof that a relationship can serve as a path to learning to love and accept yourself and to discover your own unique gifts and authenticity. I’m recently married and spend the first few years of our relationship in utter hell. I was desperate for a marriage proposal but instead was met with pain, infidelity (on my end), resentment and frustration.
Desperate to wake up, I embarked on a self development journey that included meditation, yoga, hypnotherapy, somatic therapy, prescription drugs, non prescription drugs, work shops, classes, sound healing, couples counseling, rolfing, you name it, I did it.
But none of those modalities helped me discover my authenticity as much as becoming aware of the structures, beliefs, behaviors, thoughts, emotions that I experienced in my relationships (with my partner, boss, mom, dad, friends, family etc).
Shifting my awareness to observing my own experience, rather than focusing my attention outward on the other, really opened up powerful insights and has transformed my life in a major way. I’m definitely a work in progress, and excited to work with you on this journey.