Hours of Operation: Monday - Friday 9:00 am - 5:00 pm MST
Hours of Operation: Monday - Friday 9:00 am - 5:00 pm MST
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How to create a rock-solid partnership full of ease, enjoyment, and connection– for life.

A Transformational Course for Couples & Individuals

This class is designed to help your relationship get a significant upgrade from where you are now to where you want to be (which could be from bad to good or good to great).

You want a relationship where you get what you want without feeling like you have to compromise who you are. This course delivers the foundation, framework, and tools to help you get there. 

Plus, you will get to the bottom of your seek-avoid communication breakdowns and finally understand why you feel so stuck, frustrated or alone. 

For the nerds- this class integrates attachment science and theory, developmental psychology, interpersonal neurobiology, neuroscience, interpersonal intelligence, and present-centered relationship coaching to help you understand and build secure relationships for life.

For the non-nerds- this class is a culmination of our 14- year marriage (18 together), plus the thousands of hours with clients, students, and families helping them upgrade their relationships. 

This is an excellent class for any couple looking for a serious upgrade to their partnership.

This course is the ticket if you want more ease, enjoyment, and connection.

This training includes a video lecture, reading, journaling, and an integration/action plan for your next steps.

Enroll in this class to find out why it is essential that you create and maintain an indestructible level of security in your partnership.

Okay, are you ready to take matters into your own hands and transform this? 

If so, invest in the RELATIONSHIP UPGRADE course today.

Relationship Upgrade

For a limited time, get it for a special price


Have the freedom to be yourself and feel the connection you and your partner want over and over again.
Understand that you and your partner can have differences and each have valid experiences and ways of seeing things.
Embrace Conflict and understand that it makes you stronger and more secure.
Feel considered and understood by your partner.
No longer settle and deepen self-trust that you can have the relationship you want.


  • Want to go from bad to good or good to great.
  • Feel like you don’t communicate well.
  • Both feel like you can’t get anywhere.
  • Have recurring fights.
  • Wonder if you are even compatible?
  • Believe you can’t both get what you want in this relationship.
  • Believe only one of you can win and the other has to lose when it comes to decisions about the relationship and life.
  • .Believe you have to sacrifice yourself or something very important to you in order to accommodate your partner or to have a better relationship.
  • Believe you have to tolerate something that feels unfair to you to be in this relationship.
  • Believe that conflict will only make things worse.
  • Believe that under stress you can’t rely on anyone or even your partner. You have to go it alone because people just aren’t helpful, or the help never really works or lasts.
  • Don’t know how to utilize your partner to navigate the stress of life. You either try to get their support and fail, or you don’t even try.

Course Outline

  • Module 1 – Context – What is Relationship Security: Attachment Science and Theory
  • Module 2– Attachment Styles
  • Module 3–  Understanding Our Nervous System in Relationships
  • Module 4– A Partnership Is Like a HOME
  • Module 5– How To Get Back To a Good Place – The Conflict Repair Cycle
  • Module 6– More on Building Security
  • Module 7–  Ellen & Jayson’s Story and how they stay secure and strong no matter what
  • Module 8– Integration and next steps


Your course lives on our student portal. You’ll get a unique login to access all of your materials once you register for the course.

The cool part? If you own any of our other programs, you will use the same login credentials to access this course and have all of your programs in one place!

Meet Your Course Instructors

Ellen Boeder

Ellen Boeder, MA, LPC is a psychotherapist and coach for couples in Boulder, Colorado, and a lead teacher at the Relationship School. She has been interested in how relationships actually work for as long as she can remember. Studying with innovative researchers and cutting edge practitioners in the field of psychology, relationships, and also yoga, for over 20 years has helped her integrate her approach to working with people in a sensitive, straightforward, deeply informed and embodied way. The most high level training she does is usually at home with her husband and two young children, as she finds her way through the real, raw, and beautiful experience of being deeply intertwined with others. Ellen is also a faculty member for The Relationship School®, is a long time yoga practitioner, and writes a blog that incorporates her studies in psychology with her life experience as a mother, called Rearranged by Motherhood. www.ellenboeder.com

Jayson Gaddis

Jayson Gaddis, author, podcaster, speaker, and “personal trainer for relationships”, is a global leader on interpersonal conflict and connection. He got tired of complaining that street-level relationship skills are not taught in school, so he founded The Relationship School, an impact-based company dedicated to helping individuals, couples and teams work out their differences in order to have indestructible relationships. He is the creator of Interpersonal Intelligence® and Present Centered Relationship Coaching® and the Getting To Zero Method™. He’s been married to his amazing wife since 2007 and has two beautiful kids. They live in Boulder, Colorado. When he doesn’t live and breathe this relationship stuff with his family, he pretty much gets his ass handed to him.

“Jayson is an outstanding human and incredible visionary in the relationship space. I love what he’s doing with the relationship school. He and his wife Ellen live, breathe, and walk what they teach. They are the real deal.”

Stan Tatkin

Founder of the PACT Training Institute and the developer of PACT—A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy

“Jayson Gaddis is a next-generation leader in the relationship space.”

Terri Cole

New York-based licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, and founder of Terri Cole’s Real Love Revolution™️ & Terri Cole’s Boundary Bootcamp™️

Frequently Asked Questions

When will I get access to Relationship Upgrade?

Once you enroll, you will receive an email with credentials for immediate access.

How long will I have access to the course?

Lifetime Access

How does it work?
Once you enroll in this course, you’ll get access to the TRS student portal. You will get downloadable PDFs for each class, MP3s, and other info to keep you on track.

You can listen to the lessons whenever you like, doing dishes, on a walk or run, or whatever suits you and rewind as many times as you like.

How long does it take to complete the course?

The course is self-guided, and you can complete it at your own pace.

Is there homework?

Yes, each class has a downloadable PDF with homework, reflection, ownership, and action steps.

Do you offer a payment plan?

Yes. We have two options: you can pay in full $597 or 9 weekly payments of $69.

What if I’m single, can I still take the course?

Yes, you are welcome to study this material for your next relationship.

Will this course help my parenting?

Absolutely. We cover attachment styles and principles. How to create a secure home base for kids too!

100% Money-Back Guarantee

Because I am fully committed to helping you change your relationship and your life, I want to offer you this 100% money back guarantee. You have 14 days from the date of purchase to test out the course. If you do the work and don’t feel that I’ve delivered on my promise, I’ll happily refund 100% of your money.


Important: To be eligible for a refund, I require your completed homework from the first 2 classes, as well as a written description sent to [email protected] of the changes you were making and the results you got. This means you must apply my teachings to your life and your relationships. I know that if you do, you’ll get results. But If you do the work and don’t get value, then I don’t deserve your money and I’ll cheerfully refund you 100% of your tuition.

I do this because I’m looking for serious and committed students only. I take my learning environment seriously and maintain a very high standard of truth, integrity, encouragement, and inspired, action-oriented learning.