Blog Archives - Page 9 of 10 - The Relationship School®

Connection Starts with Me

I recently started something new. I changed my career. I changed my life. I trained and studied for a year with Jayson Gaddis and became a Certified Relationship Coach. Now I am on a new path and I’m feeling really energized and exposed.

It’s invigorating and scary to put myself out there. To move toward the discomfort of possible “rejection” or “failure” that I may experience… And I know that real authentic connection happens in my life when I let myself be seen. I know that I step into my power when I am willing to be vulnerable and share myself.

So here are a few pieces of me that I would like you to see, and perhaps in seeing me in my power and in my vulnerability, and most of all in my humanness, you will be reminded that you aren’t alone on your journey. (more…)

The One Thing That Matters More To Me Than Being Understood

I remember the last time I felt completely misunderstood and unseen. Feels really bad, right?

And even worse, it was my husband of 13 years who did not seem to understand me. At all. Until recently, I would have let it go, silently brooded and put my indignation on a growing pile of resentments.

I would have remembered a lover from years ago. The one who really understood me. The one who read poetry, like I do. I would have silently longed for a ghost from the past and endured my “fate”. I would have been thinking about how I would die, and my husband would discover my diaries. All my incredible thoughts would open his eyes and heart, and he would be filled with regret and longing. But then it would be too late…

Remembering this I feel pathetic. But, if I am honest, I did sometimes have such romantic thoughts. (more…)

The 9 Most Common Relationship Mistakes And What To Do Instead

During the honeymoon phase of any relationship, we are all very smart. It’s hard to do anything wrong because it all feels so damn good. It’s one big puppy pile and puppy piles are pretty damn easy.

But once the metaphorical beer goggles wear off and you sober up to the reality that your partner is a real pain in the ass, it’s a whole new ball game. And, if you bring your “know-it-all” attitude to the table, you’re pretty much screwed.

So, instead of thinking you know how relationships work this year, let’s assume that you are making at least 5 of these mistakes and that you have something to learn.

Why admit to these mistakes?

By admitting you suck at long-term relationship, you are humble enough to learn a new way. In fact, after reading these mistakes, I’ll give you one, and only one, tip to change turn every single one of these mistakes around. (more…)

Teaching Relationship Skills To Kids

Think for a minute or two about how many times you’ve been hurt in relationship. Specifically, think about the hurts that happened under the age of 25.

Of those hurts how many were in your primary relationships? (more…)

10 Rules To Dealing With Conflict At Home

Fighting is unavoidable.

Knowing how is essential.

Since getting married, I don’t think my wife and I have had a major blow-out fight because we have the skills and we practice them. Now when Ellen and I fight, argue or disagree, we are efficient with our challenges, triggers, and disagreements because we learned how.
So, if you are afraid of conflict or avoid it, you’re screwed until you face this fundamental fear.

My wife Ellen and I put together these 10 rules or agreements you can get in place as “preventative care” in your relationship. (more…)

The One Class We Never Got In School But Should Have

Somewhere in my early 30’s I realized that I missed one of the most important classes I could have taken in school–a class on relationships.

It wasn’t until I broke 7 hearts, burned countless bridges, and ran away from conflict for about 20 years that I realized that I had missed something. (more…)