What are the pros and cons of looking at marriage as forever? And how can you personally engage in one of the biggest commitments of your life without falling into someone else’s programming, but also without hedging your bets and thinking you always have an out? Find out in this week’s episode.
Question from Heather – Hawaii
“Can you please clarify on why we shouldn’t be striving to stay in a marriage forever?
Backstory: I just finished listening to your latest episode about the point of marriage and it really triggered me. Here is why…you do all these amazing podcasts talking about long term relationship and how to make it better and grow not only as an individual but as a couple.. why wouldn’t you want that for the rest of your life? What is the point of trying to sustain a long term relationship when your goal is 10 years or maybe 20 and then you reevaluate… It seems to me that means giving up. Why wouldn’t you strive for forever or 50 years? If you have a partner that is willing to grow and change with you the entire time why wouldn’t that be your goal. Why would you ever put into the universe otherwise. Why would we work so hard at having a great long term relationship only to have in the back of our minds this isn’t forever. That seems like a bit of a fear of commitment still because in your mind you already have an out. To me that would be a great challenge to sustain a great relationship for 50 years. It would be work yes for sure but well worth it. I am not talking about staying just to say you made it that far I am of course talking about being truly fulfilled for that entire time and always growing to be your best selves.”
Should we be all-in forever? [1:00]
When moving on is a good thing [7:00]
How being overzealous about your commitments can backfire [8:00]
The difference between being ‘all-in’ and being locked-in [11:00]