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Hours of Operation: Monday - Friday 9:00 am - 5:00 pm MST
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3 Steps To Become More Resilient Before, During & After A Fight with Dr. Rick Hanson – SC 67

 

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It is possible to rewire your brain in relationships and build inner strength. In fact, if you don’t work toward this, you’ll be in trouble down the road when the allostatic load catches up to you later in life. In this episode I interview Dr. Rick Hanson. He’s a passionate expert on mindfulness, the brain, neuroscience and relationships. We geek out on the intricacies of the brain but he also brings some very practical tools and insights on how we can improve our relationships by using the natural genius of our mind. Lots of notes to take on this one! Hang in there. It can get dense. 

 

SHOWNOTES

  • Why Jayson was anti-marriage until age 34 [2:00]
  • How did Dr. Hanson get so passionate about brain science and relationships? [11:00]
  • A Native American story about love and hate [13:00]
  • Why is so difficult for couples to work their shit out? [17:30]
  • What are two lessons from the wiring of our ancestors’ nervous systems? [19:30]
  • Two practices to rewire your brain to build your inner psychological strength [22:00]
  • How to stop the negativity train of our mind when we’re already triggered [25:00]
  • Tips for developing ourselves before we get into a fight with our partners [32:30]
  • What happens in our brains when we are triggered by our partner? [46:00]
  • How being chronically frustrated, lonely, let down, disconnected impacts the brain and body. [51:30]
  • The ratio between positive interactions and negative interactions [60:00]
  • A 10-day challenge to the listener on how to radically shift the dynamic in your relationship. [65:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

 

ARTICLES & PODCAST EPISODES MENTIONED

 

GUEST BIO

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, and New York Times best-selling author. His books are available in 26 languages and include Hardwiring Happiness, Buddha’s Brain, Just One Thing, and Mother Nurture. He edits the Wise Brain Bulletin and has numerous audio programs. A summa cum laude graduate of UCLA and founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, he’s been an invited speaker at Oxford, Stanford, Harvard, and other major universities, and taught in meditation centers worldwide. His work has been featured on the BBC, CBS, and NPR, and he offers the free Just One Thing newsletter with over 120,000 subscribers, plus the online Foundations of Well-Being program in positive neuroplasticity that anyone with financial need can do for free.

 

Keys To Mastering Relationships & Life With Dr. John Demartini – SC 60

 

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Did I interview Yoda or just world renowned human behavior specialist Dr. John Demartini? Okay, buckle your seat belt for this one and be prepared to have some of your paradigms twisted and your feathers ruffled. I could have grilled this guy for hours, but I kept it to one hour to respect his time. Be sure to listen to this one twice and take notes.  From no one being committed to you, to the fact that everyone is dishonest, I’m sure this episode will confront and serve you in many helpful ways. Enjoy!

 

SHOWNOTES

  • The one statement Dr. Demartini said that rocked Jayson’s world.  [7:45]
  • How infatuation is an insight to ourselves. [10:30]
  • Dr. Demartini’s relationship status? [11:30]
  • Do long-distance relationships work? [12:30]
  • How to be true to yourself in relationships. [15:45]
  • Dr. Demartini’s date with a 95 year-old lady. [23:00]
  • How our values powerfully influence our lives. [24:45]
  • What about when two partners have opposite values? [27:00]
  • What’s the link between health, stress and values? [32:30]
  • What happens if we run from challenge? [35:00]
  • How to deal with someone who is lying to you. [43:15]
  • What about sexual polarity and passion in relationships?  [45:15]
  • Is quantum entanglement a real phenomenon? [49:00]
  • Why do we tend to attract partners who mimic our parents? [55:45]
  • If you’ve been hurt in a relationship, do you need to heal through relationship? [58:30]

HELPFUL LINKS

 


GUEST BIO

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Dr. John Demartini is a world renowned specialist in human behavior, a researcher, author and global educator. He has developed a series of solutions applicable across all markets, sectors and age groups. His education curriculum ranges from corporate empowerment programs, financial empowerment strategies, self-development programs, relationship solutions and social transformation programs. His teachings start at the core of the issue, addressing the human factor and range out to a multitude of powerful tools that have proven the test of time. He has studied over 29000 books across all the defined academic disciplines and has synthesized the wisdom of the ages which he shares on stage in over 60 countries. His presentations whether keynotes, seminars or workshops, leave clients with insights into their behavior and keys to their empowerment.

Dr. Demartini has addressed public and professional audiences up to 11000 people at a time across the world and shared the stage with some of the world’s most influential people such as Sir Richard Branson, Stephen Covey, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Donald Trump and many more. From the thousands of testimonials he receives annually, Dr Demartini’s work changes people’s lives forever.

 
 


 
 

How To Feel Safe & Secure With Your Partner with Stan Tatkin – SC 53

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Do attachment principles actually work in adult relationships? How can secure functioning assist you and your partner into greater safety and openness in your marriage? In this episode I talk with Stan Tatkin, couple therapist, and adult attachment guru. I’ve been studying this guy for the past 2 years through my wife. He’s making a very important contribution, backed by brain science, with the neuro psychobiological approach to how adults to long-term relationship successfully. Get ready to “parent” your partner! Yikes! I learned a lot here and am eager to share his work with you.

SHOWNOTES

  • How did Stan get into becoming a therapist? [5:45]
  • What is “secure functioning”? [13:00]
  • How is secure functioning different than “co-dependency”? [21:45]
  • What does a co-dependent dynamic look like in real life? [22:30]
  • Are we re-parenting ourselves with our chosen partners? [28:00]
  • What is a “master regulator” in a relationship? How to tell if that’s you. [31:30]
  • How to avoid choosing a partner who is not a good fit for a secure functioning model? [32:30]
  • When dating, here’s one thing you MUST do. [35:00]
  • What is the allostatic load and how does it impact both your body and relationships? [38:00]
  • The antidote to when a relationship goes on auto-pilot. [47:00]
  • Island, Anchor, Wave and why they matter in your relationship. [48:00]
  • The myth of “you need to love yourself first before you can love someone else”. [52:00]
  • Does your therapist also need to be in a thriving partnership [55:00]
  • Why does Stan say that “dating lasts forever”? [56:30]
  • Stan’s big tip on how couples can stimulate their marriage on a daily basis [58:00]

 

HELPFUL LINKS

[“We are hurt by people and we are healed by people. — Stan Tatkin”]

 

Guest Bio

Dr. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a couple therapist known for his pioneering work in helping partners form happy, secure, and long-lasting relationships. His method-called PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy)-draws on principles of neuroscience and teaches partners to become what he terms “secure-functioning.

Together with his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, Dr. Tatkin founded the PACT Institute to train psychotherapists and other professionals how to incorporate his method into their practices with couples. Therapists from all over the world are being trained in this breakthrough approach.

Dr. Tatkin has a private practice in Calabasas, CA, and is an assistant professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is the author of several books, including the bestselling Wired For Love and Wired For Dating published by New Harbinger. StanTatkin.com

 

Want A Peaceful Relationship? Learn This – SC 46

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In this episode I give you 3 steps toward a more peaceful relationship. And, when I talk about peace in a relationship, it isn’t the BS fantasy most people think of. Check it out.

SHOWNOTES

  • Why everyone is dumb in some area of our lives. [4:00]
  • How can we just “all get a long”?  [5:01]
  • Your two choices when uncomfortable stuff comes up? [10:24]
  • The number one reason people get a divorce [13:37]
  • Powerful 3-step process to resolve dumb fights [16:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

 
 


 
 

Revolutionary Sex for Men with Alex Allman – SC 43

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In this juicy episode I talk with Alex Allman about men, orgasms and sex. Giving her an orgasm isn’t what you think. Alex helps us get more honest and more present with our sex lives and how crucial it is to have other men in your life to bust your balls when you need it. While this episode is for the men, if you are a woman, I know you’ll appreciate how our guest is trying to help the men dance with you in the bedroom.

 

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SHOWNOTES

  • How Alex’s childhood impacted his view of masculinity [5:50]
  • The two types of change [11:10]
  • Why being beautiful and successful early on makes change harder [12:45]
  • What happened when Alex was 39 that forever woke him up. [17:55]
  • Why only loving your partner for their positive traits will make you disappointed. [23:30]
  • The most important thing for a man to get that is so simple yet so complicated. [32:15]
  • How the “doting husband” can be sexually repulsive. [34:15]
  • What to do when you have erection troubles in the bedroom. [43:00]

 

HELPFUL LINKS

[bctt tweet=”What gives a women an orgasm and what makes you great in bed aren’t the same thing. – Alex Allman”]

Guest Bio

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Alex Allman is the author of the best selling Revolutionary Sex programs for enhancing sexual pleasure, creating deeper intimacy and communication, and deepening sexual confidence. Since 1993 he has been studying and refining his heart-centered theories on sexuality and relationships. Through his writing, lectures, videos, and public appearances, he has helped tens of thousands of men, women, and couples achieve greater confidence, intimacy, relationship health, and love. Website: AlexAllman.life

 
 


 
 

How Circling Can Deepen Your Relationships – Decker Cunov – SC 38

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In this podcast, I interview Decker Cunov, a leader who has deeply impacted how I show up personally and professionally. For over 10 years, he’s been one of the pioneers in a fast-growing transformational practice known as “Circling.” As usual Decker packs a punch in his own funky style. Pay special attention to our dynamic near the end.

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SHOWNOTES

  • Why does Decker care about relationships so much? [4:17]
  • What was it like growing up as a sensitive kid. [7:15]
  • What IS “circling”? [11:36]
  • How circling is and isn’t like meditation. [15:05]
  • Why does circling matter in relationships. [15:58]
  • A quick way to play “intersubjective tennis” with your partner. [31:34]
  • Decker breaks down the steps of circling. [23:35]
  • What’s it like to “feel another person” in circling. [29:32]
  • Some of the traps of circling. [33:15]
  • Decker starts circling Jayson [43:36]
  • Jayson’s big aha from circling [50:10]
  • What Decker’s son said that blew him away [52:33]
  • The one thing that Decker said that personally impacted Jayson [57:01]

 

HELPFUL LINKS

Sentence Stem To Practice With Your Partner
Partner A: “What I notice as I’m with you is…”

Partner B: “Hearing that, I’m noticing…”
(Repeat and alternate)

[bctt tweet=”Circling practice is not a replacement for meditation, but for a lot of people, it’s a great start. – Decker Cunov”]

PODCAST GUEST

Decker Cunov is President at Integral Center in Boulder, CO, a company committed to inspiring people towards more fulfilling relationships. He’s spent the last decade working successfully with everyone from soldiers to teenagers, from the clinically dysfunctional to doctors & lawyers, from a mechanic in Wisconsin to top level executives in Silicon Valley, helping them reach unprecedented levels of success in relationship in organic and profound ways. More info: The Integral Center