Elias Sonai Lupo

Are you trying to navigate the uncharted territory of non-monogamy?
Have you ever felt alone, misunderstood, and confused in this endeavor?
You’re not alone.

My name is Elias Sonai, yes both together!
I was born with an unusual sense of love: jealousy doesn’t affect me. I’ve always wanted my partners to be expanded and lit up by whoever they were attracted to. Yet none of my partners wanted that. I kept meeting unavailable partners, whose love I depended so much on that I did my best to follow their values. Until my true nature typically exploded in a triangular situation where everyone involved was burned. And so, I went from one relationship to another. All genders, all ages, all power dynamics, all frames, from long distance to cohabitation… each time truly believing the other person would make a difference.

Over the years, a few patterns started to stand out so ridiculously that I couldn’t ignore them anymore. Life gave me the opportunity to learn with The Relationship School and I took it.
The transformation was so profound that I am still reaping the benefits. I realized that in my relationships I had showed up in the chaos of an unexamined insecure attachment seasoned with emotional illiteracy, spiced up with non-existent communication. And on top of that I was hoping to achieve non-monogamy!

Thanks to all these experiences, today I have an in-depth understanding of the fears, needs and obstacles between two people when it comes to opening a relationship.
Today I have the tools to guide myself and others to first establish a safe relationship with ourselves; with our partner secondly; and finally with multiple partners if desired!

Everybody is welcome: I’m a non-binary transgender person, and I understand the struggles of minorities.

Wherever you are on this journey, click below to work with me and find your compass!