Jayson, Author at The Relationship School®

The Problem With Never Fighting In Your Relationship – SC 95

If you are not fighting after 4 years of being together you’re asleep. Why? I’ll explain in this episode. I used to be proud of the fact that I never fought in my relationships. But man, was I missing the boat…

SHOWNOTES

Question: “You talk about working together and communication. But is there such a thing as working TOO well together, never fighting or getting into an argument? Sometimes I would like to have some type of disagreement or argument. We’ve been together almost 4 years and we’ve not had one disagreement or argument. He just kinda always gives me what I want. Please help. “

Why conflict is important – and the dangers of chronic conflict-avoidance [1:00]
Why the older generations often ‘suck up’ their conflict, and why the mainstream is wrong about conflict [4:00]
What to do if your partner is a ‘conflict avoider’ [6:00]
How to use fighting as a doorway to greater understanding and connection in your relationship [7:00]
What American Beauty can teach us about how not to handle conflict and tension [8:00]
How to approach your partner if they’re conflict-avoidant (and how to say it well)[12:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

The 9 Most Common Relationship Mistakes And What To Do Instead

During the honeymoon phase of any relationship, we are all very smart. It’s hard to do anything wrong because it all feels so damn good. It’s one big puppy pile and puppy piles are pretty damn easy.

But once the metaphorical beer goggles wear off and you sober up to the reality that your partner is a real pain in the ass, it’s a whole new ball game. And, if you bring your “know-it-all” attitude to the table, you’re pretty much screwed.

So, instead of thinking you know how relationships work this year, let’s assume that you are making at least 5 of these mistakes and that you have something to learn.

Why admit to these mistakes?

By admitting you suck at long-term relationship, you are humble enough to learn a new way. In fact, after reading these mistakes, I’ll give you one, and only one, tip to change turn every single one of these mistakes around. (more…)

7 Behaviors That Kill Your Connection – Bryan Reeves – SC 94

Are you killing the connection with these 7 behaviors? My guest Bryan Reeves lays out some of the most common connection killers and what to do instead. There’s some really good, practical advice in this episode. Dig in and enjoy.

SHOWNOTES

Bryan’s relationship story [7:00]
The Masculine-Feminine Dance and the ‘pull-push’ cycle [11:00]
Freedom vs connection in relationship [12:00]
When she says ‘come closer’ and he says ‘back away (and his biggest fear in life) [14:00]
One way to handle a woman’s anger [17:00]
Key Relationship Skill: Connection before correction [19:00]
The danger of ‘data-gathering,’ and how our partners feel invalidated by it [22:00]
Why ‘mansplaining’ doesn’t bring you closer together [24:00]
How one-upping your partner’s problems can lead to toxic arguments [25:00]
A simple, impactful two-step principle for better connection and less friction [30:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

Bryan’s Books:
- Tell the Truth: Let the Peace Fall Where it May
- The Sex, Flirting, Dating, Hunting and Hoping Diet
Bryan’s Love, Sex, Relationship, Magic Course
Way of The Superior Man by David Deida
Nonviolent Communication – by Marshall Rosenberg
Jayson’s 10 Agreements
Facebook – Jayson Gaddis Fan Page
Monogamy & The Smart Couple – Facebook Group
How to Leave A Podcast Review

GUEST BIO

A former US Air Force Captain, Bryan Reeves has survived multiple dark nights of the soul and now coaches men, women and couples to create thriving lives and relationships. He’s the author of the viral blog, “Choose Her Every Day or Leave Her” and two books, “The Sex, Flirting, Dating, Hunting and Hoping Diet” and ”Tell The Truth, Let The Peace Fall Where It May.” Connect on Facebook and www.BryanReeves.com.

Does His Size Matter? – SC 93

Here’s a good question from a listener. Essentially it’s about physical attractiveness and size. Check it out:

SHOWNOTES

Question: I’m newly interested in a man after being single for 4 years, I have a 5 year old son. My biggest issue is getting over the ‘drug-effect’ of having someone new and really discovering why we should or are together. I’m all about getting the ‘high’ and attracting guys who are physically fit and are the perfect eye candy to have on my arm. Right now the guy I’m seeing is just the opposite and I’m having a hard time with it.

Not only that, but his package is small and the sex is not good at all. In fact, he has not been able to even be turned on by me enough to have intercourse. That really hurt me, so we have not had sex since. I’m looking for ways for us to strengthen our relationship after this experience and advice on how I can get past not having the physically fit man on my arm.

What happens if your man has a small penis… and can’t get an erection? [8:00]
We attract what we most need to learn [9:00]
What matters short-term vs what matters long-term [11:00]
Embracing yourself as you are [14:00]
How to approach a guy in this situation [16:00]
Not taking it personally [17:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

Abusive Relationships & How To Deal With Them – SC 92

Are you in an abusive relationship? In this episode we explore some of the hallmarks of an “abusive” relationship and what to do with any form of disrespect, neglect, or abuse. It’s actually harder than you think and there’s more work to do than to just “leave” the relationship. I answer loads of questions from listeners like you on abuse in your relationship life. I think there might be some confronting and helpful information in here for you. SHOWNOTES