If you are a more “masculine” woman, chances are you’ll find yourself with a more “feminine” man. Is this a problem? Not at all. In fact, if you understand basic polarity principles, this can work to your advantage. Unless of course you want to keep blaming your partner. There is something simpler you can do. Listen for more info…
SHOWNOTES
QUESTION:
Can you speak to male/female polarity dynamics? Particularly when the female partner tends to have more of a masculine energy in the relationship – in terms of being type-A, taking action, wanting to get things done – while the male partner has more of a passive, laid back, feminine energy.
As the female partner with the more masculine energy, I find this dynamic really frustrating and wonder if it means I’ll be signing up for life where I will be doing most of the heavy lifting around all the practical dynamics of daily life?
I was wondering if this dynamic would be too difficult to sustain in a satisfactory way, although we are both growth-oriented, so that part is not a concern.
- Why we get triggered by our opposites [3:00]
- You go first (don’t wait for your partner to change) [4:00]
- Learning to own what you’ve disowned for a better relationship [8:00]
HELPFUL LINKS
Your first mistake. You made it an us and them to simplify what is a more complex synergy.
Males are dynamic and females are passive, really? So if you are dynamic does that mean you are a guy? I don’t think so.
A lot of females would question your simplistic portrayal and so would you if you asked yourself why a dynamic female should need to feel challenged by a passive guy.
Guys and gals come in all shapes and the sooner we stop putting them in boxes where they all feel that they don’t fit the better.
A lot of females are pushers and a lot of guys are not, so many guys play the hard man but how much is just them meeting their peer requirements? Same goes for women looking for an alpha male, how many (lots and lots) are happy with Mr B and would shit themselves if Mr A was in their life?
Hey Emma, thanks for sharing your thoughts here. It feels like this conversation has evolved (on a large scale) quite a bit since you originally wrote your comment 5 years ago, that “masculine” and “feminine” wording isn’t appreciated the way it was once. I haven’t actually listened to this episode myself so I can’t speak to the details, but I can definitely express my appreciation for your time in listening to the episode and sharing your thoughts with the community. My apologies for the extreme delay in replying. Thanks again for tuning in and hope that other episodes have landed, inspired, or supported you in some way. -Meg
Sounds like, deep down inside, she’s part of the 80 percent majority of the population who has the “normal gendered instincts,” and her boyfriend may be part of the 20 percent who doesn’t have these instincts. Perhaps some of her masculine traits are attracting the 20-percenters of men whom she isn’t attracted to or compatible with.
My advice would be for her to find a different boyfriend who’s part of the same 80-percent majority as she’s from, and perhaps one who’s even-more masculine than she is. She also could encourage her current boyfriend to go and find a different girlfriend who’s a 20-percenter (who doesn’t have the “normal gendered instincts”), and who is attracted to feminine men. A win-win for all.
Joe, your comments are spot-on.