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Cock Talk – 4 Men Getting Really Honest – SC 22

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In this episode, I’m joined by a panel of courageous men: Booster Blake, Jeffrey Platts, Adrial Dale, and Christopher Sunyata.  These men have all done work on themselves, and so are able to get honest and talk openly about their sexuality, their victories and challenges with intimacy, with relationship, and with their bodies in the bedroom.  I think you’ll appreciate the transparency of these men.

SHOWNOTES:

  • Beginning of interview [6:45]
  • Adrial introduces himself [6:50]
  • Jeffrey introduces himself [7:35]
  • Booster Blake introduces himself [8:45]
  • Christopher introduces himself [10:10]
  • The men briefly describe their relationships to their cock [13:00]
  • When did you first learn to masturbate, and what was it like? [17:30]
  • Did you ever have a sexual experience with a boy? [24:00]
  • If you played with other boys when you were young, did you ever have any doubts that you were gay because you enjoyed it? [27:05]
  • How has porn negatively or positively affected your sex life? [29:45]

You don’t get your time back.  So the time I was spending investing in these pixels, these women on a screen, I could have been investing in actual relationships. — Jeffrey

  • Where do these men draw the line when it comes to fantasizing about other women? [37:30]
  • What’s a victory, or celebratory moment, you’ve had with your cock? [42:00]
  • What are your thoughts on working to transcend pornography?  [48:00]
  • A listening woman asks: What is the best segue to bring up sexual topics when there is shame around the topic? [52:45]

It’s so ironic…whenever shame comes up, it’s an opportunity for much deeper intimacy. – Adrial

  • What kind of shame have men experienced that have been put on their cocks or their sexuality by women? [58:30]
  • If the woman asks for something different in the bedroom, does a man take this personally and feel like he is not a good enough lover? [1:05:30]
  • Final comments [1:12:45]

 

HELPFUL LINKS:

Cock Talk Sign-Up

Cock Talk Episode – With David Cates

 

ABOUT:

Christopher:

Vast physical pleasure, deep love, and even union with divine source can be experienced through sex. Sexual energy is the source of all life in this world. Christopher Sunyata teaches people how to embrace their sexual power and artfully conduct it through their body and intimate relationships, integrating this power into their whole life. Drawing upon decades of practice and study under masters of sexual yoga, Taoist exercises, and Buddhist meditation, he teaches ancient body-centered practices without dogma or esoteric language, leading people to discover the secret wisdom already present within their own body. By learning to trust this wisdom within their body, people can reclaim passion and life energy that is their birthright, and create intimate relationships that deepen in love and chemistry over the years.

Prior to teaching he was a successful international project manager responsible for over a billion dollars in revenue, a medical device engineer with seven patents, and a ceramic artist. He has raised four children, two of his own, including one who has significant disabilities. He lives in Boulder, Colorado with his beloved wife Karlene.

http://christophersunyata.com/

Jeffrey:

jeffrey platts

Jeffrey Platts is a love & life coach for men. With over 20 years of personal study and transformational training, his superpower is helping men clear out the “noise” so they can choose and create an amazing life that they maybe didn’t even know was on the menu. There is no secret “code” or “formula” to hack, only three necessary ingredients: awareness, choice and action. He brings a rich toolbox of insights and experiences, integrating his adventures as a DJ, amateur stand-up comedian, salsa dancer, yoga teacher and world traveler.

Jeffrey Platts website

Booster Blake:

booster

Blake is a transformational life coach helping people align their lives with their authentic desires. He works with couples, men, and women in areas of non-violent communication, sexual empowerment, conscious parenting, and personal transformation. His success with clients emerges from a foundation of loving presence and no bullshit reflection. He can be reached on Facebook at Booster Blake or by email at [email protected]

Adrial:

Headshots

Here’s the deal:  I LOVE supporting people in dropping anything that doesn’t make them feel totally and fully ALIVE in the world.  It’s all of our birthrights to fully live. So whether you’re 1) struggling with intimacy, sexuality or shame from having an STD (I’m a resiliency coach) or 2) a struggling business owner and want to build an audience and an awesome online presence (I’m a community leader/graphic designer/marketer/visionary) or 3) wanting to unleash your aliveness through meditative movement and dance (I’m a movement flow junkie and co-creator of SlowFlow dance), then I got news for you:  We need to talk…Like, Now.  Love, Adrial.

Adrial Life Coaching

Herpes Opportunity

Slow Flow Dance

Adrial Designs

 
 


 
 

Cock Talk – Men’s Sexual Issues – David Cates – SC 16

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INTRO:

This is another great podcast, and our first one around sexuality, especially as it pertains to men (women’s sexuality coming in the next episode). David and I explore my own challenges and triumphs and what’s going on in the male mind when it comes to getting stuck around “performing” in the bedroom. You’ll dig it.

SHOWNOTES:

  • Intro to David Cates [1:16]
  • Start of the interview [4:00]
  • How Jayson reached out to David when he was struggling sexually [5:25]
  • Men stuck in the “performance game” [8:05]

The struggle is designed to get you back home, to your heart” – Jayson [8:51]

  • Your Cock is a Barometer. Learn to trust it [9:04]

We can shift off the fear that I’m being betrayed by my cock, and into the inquiry or curiosity about: what is my cock really trying to show me?  Whats the message here, what do I need to be learning about?” – David [10:15]

[bctt tweet=”We use porn as a drug – David Cates”]

  • What performance-based sex looks like  [14:45]
  • A hallmark of fully mature sex [16:00]

[bctt tweet= “Fully mature sex: one of the hallmarks of it is the ability to be awkward and laugh… – David Cates”]

  • Where to start developing a mature sex life [18:58]
  • Sexual pain is just a signal for attention [21:00]
  • When porn becomes a problem [24:00]

The anti-venom to porn is to be in our bodies, and be in our hearts” -David

  • What to do when given the advice “just have sex” [27:55]
  • Partner Intimacy Practice 31:30]

“This practice gently resets the nervous system out of adrenaline and cortisal, and into a more oxytocin state of connection and safety and let-go and trust.” – David

  • How to do your deep breathing in the practice [38:33]
  • How to touch each other in the practice [40:00]
  • What about performance anxiety for women? [42:56]
  • Finding the right pace – and getting unstuck from your habits [46:34]
  • Rediscovering your heart in your sex life [49:00]
  • Giving yourself permission to be who you are in the bedroom [54:00]
  • The one thing a listener could take from David Cates [56:20]

“That’s where all the problems happen: when we’re performing to an ideal, and when we’re expecting an ideal, instead of the messy, beautiful, chaotic perfection of each moment and each person.”  – David [57:15]

 

HELPFUL LINKS:

Information on the vagus nerve

Information on polyvagal theory

Potential negative impacts of porn

Travel Tips: Bali

If you want to go deeper, you can listen to Jayson and David discuss PE, here.  And if you want a detailed description of David’s partner practice, you can find that here.

If you’ve been struggling with erectile dysfunction, or you are a woman whose man has been dealing with ED, click here.

ABOUT:

david

“Don’t take my word for anything. Try it out and see for yourself. I’m just a messenger… one who’s been paying attention to bodies for decades. It’s amazing how much you can learn when you’re not obsessing with your own bullshit.” – David

 
 


 
 

4 Stages of Intimacy – Robert & Diane Masters – SC 7

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IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn:

  • The importance of recognizing conditioning and seeing its role in shaping a more mature relationship
  • Why knowing your past experiences and stories can re-empower your relationships
  • How to differentiate between healthy shame and unhealthy shame and how they play a crucial role in functional marriages
  • How recognizing stages of an evolving relationship can help you better connect with your partner
  • How to get to being centered and truly connected with your partner without sacrificing independence
  • About the key importance of vulnerability in a marriage
  • About the heart of really deep and truly fulfilling sex

And check out these four stages of relationship. We explore these in the episode.

1. Me-centered
2. We-centered codependent
3. We-centered co-independent
4. Being-centered

I had a lot of fun with this one. These two “get” long term relationship and what’s required to go the distance. They also know a great deal about shame, blame, and how to get over it by going to the next stage in your relationship. Robert also supports the power of men facing their own BS and his new book “To Be A Man” is going to be worth the read for the men out there.

Note, our call got “dropped” by skype at one point so you’ll notice the sound quality change a bit. Just a heads up. 

For more information, visit and CONNECT with Diane and Robert:

Robert Augustus Masters is a relationship expert, psychotherapist and trainer of therapists, with a doctorate in psychology. He is also the author of 14 books, including “Transformation through Intimacy” and “To Be a Man.”

Diane Bardwell Masters is an intuitive healer, relationship expert, and longtime professional singer. She works side-by-side and in very close conjunction with Robert in all the work they do.

Robert Masters:

robertmasters.com

Diane Bardwell:

dianebardwell.com