As a man, I can fully relate when I hear from other men that they’re not sure what their partner wants when it comes to showing love.
It’s common for a man to get accustomed to showing he loves and cares for his partner in ways that are within his comfort zone.
For example, I have a habit of doing things around the house—chores, little tasks, taking the kids places. I’m a helper and I enjoy fixing things.
I feel like my wife probably feels cared about if I’m taking care of some of these things for her. That way, there’s less she has to worry about.
But these kinds of things aren’t a replacement for telling her I love her—or even better, showing her. There are tons of ways to demonstrate you care for your partner, and it’s a good idea to open your mind to them.
No matter where you are on the gender spectrum, this can apply. For today’s purposes, I’m going to approach it from my position as a heteronormative man with a female wife.
The Heart Connection
Women—and partners in general—crave the heart connection. Oftentimes, men have difficulty learning to love from the heart.
As men, we can get defensive and feel like we’re being criticized. That’s because it can be tough for us to get in touch with that emotional part of ourselves.
Our right brain is often the weaker muscle. We aren’t dominated by the side of empathy and nurturing like most women are.
That doesn’t mean we can’t exercise that side of our brains, though. It just takes a little more work for us.
For that reason, we as men have to dig a little deeper into ourselves.
We have to think about what our partner might want. I encourage you to get creative.
Gifts Are Nice, But Put Some Effort into It
Flowers and gifts are good things to give your partner, but those really don’t take too much thought.
When you dig toward your inner self, why not come up with the most creative idea you can?
Go for the less obvious things. Chocolates and teddy bears are something anyone can do.
Paint her a picture. Write her a poem or a love letter. Sing or play her a song. Build her something or even do the dishes or laundry for her.
Yeah, whatever you set out to do might feel out of your comfort zone at first. But think about how much your partner will appreciate it.
Besides, think about it from your partner’s point of view. Wouldn’t you be happy for them to show you love in a way that makes you feel cared for?
Love from the Heart
Of course, I’m not saying not to tell your partner how much you love them. That’s a given and this is over and above the standard things.
Loving from the heart is more about demonstrating you care.
When you’re looking for your most genuine, authentic way to express your care—that’s the one that will make your partner feel loved.
Not only does it show you care, but it shows a piece of who you are—a deeper part that allows her to feel a stronger connection to you and your true self.
Activate the Right Brain
So when you’re ready to dig deeper into yourself and show your partner your love, that’s where the mindset shift comes in.
Access your creative side…get that right brain moving faster…and show that heartfelt side of yourself. Think about the way your demonstrated love will be received and look forward to the joy you’ll bring your partner.
Not only will your partner appreciate it and your relationship will grow, but you’ll find yourself growing as an individual, too.