What do you think of when you hear someone mention self-soothing? Maybe some coping behaviors you learned as a child or have seen children exhibit? Sometimes those behaviors can carry over into our adult lives (glass of wine after a rough day…or zoning out in front of the TV/game system, perhaps). But how do those self-soothing behaviors fit into adult relationships—or should they at all? This week, Ellen and I answer a listener question on this subject. Check out the podcast episode here:
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This is so cool to watch. I’ve been interested in relationship development for several years and for the life of me (as a man) I can’t meet anyone who is even remotely interested in talking about it, let alone putting it into practice. I have been called “uptight” and “robotic” for raising this topic, wondering if you have advice about how to “safely” introduce this topic in a new(er) relationship.
I think when you start that new relationship with a person that is really into growth and development, you can send them that podcast and say: This is something that is important to me. It sounds like it is a non-negotiable for you! Stick with that.
I’ve become so self sufficient that everyone is scared to help me. People have no idea how much help I do need.