Why do men pull away when they get close? Then, some of them will come back, only to pull away again. WTF is going on here? SHOWNOTES
- What is going on when a man pulls away? [7:00]
- The surprising reason he pulls away and disconnects from you [8:00]
- Why annoying your partner is a good thing (and will happen forever) [10:00]
- The feedback loop that keeps you both stuck [13:00]
- Two powerful tips for when he pulls away [14:00]
Hey I want to get my man back into my life again and I pretty much screw up on him because we had a lot of fights and argument in the past and I want to do a lot better with him back into the relationship we me and we were friends and we became lovers, I still love him and he tells me that he don’t love me anymore which I know from his heart he still loves me he just don’t want to admit it but I know deep down he still loves me- I just want him back into my life again so the both of us can do a lot better in life can you help me?
Sadly he has pulled away. Each time closer. He has been unfaithful in two marriages. Was open about it. Chased me for years. Got me after 3….and it has been up and down for 4. He loves me. He doesn’t know what love is. The last 6-7 months. He’s been very committed. I moved closer. In the meantime, he’s had 3 women file complaints on him from past (physician crossing boundaries). He’s in treatment and says he cannot be in a romantic relationship with anyone right now. He came to check on me, misses me and I am totally in love with hjm. What do I do? Walk away forever? He’s not trying to be alone with me – he says he’s trying to work through all of this Help
Sadly….I wonder if he’s a narcissist and/or aspergers. ?
hi Mary, it’s very difficult to speculate (though we just interviewed someone this week on episode 403 – Grace Myhill – on Neurodiverse Relationships which may tickle your fancy). I imagine that 5 years later there has been some resolution to this situation, I hope there has been, and I am sorry it has taken us so long to reply to this comment. My apologies and I wish you well on your journey, thank you so much for tuning into the podcast.
I have a history of dating this man as well as being a woman who shuts down when things get to be too intense and I am feeling vulnerable. In the past it was one of the other in a relationship. For my last two relationships, as I have been changing and doing my work, both have happened in the relationship. I start off obsessed and intense, realize it’s not reciprocated, and then I check out. At that point, my partner starts telling me that I’m not giving them enough, I get annoyed and non-responsive and it ends with them pissed off at me and blocking me from their lives (including social media) even though we did have a clear-cut ending. I feel a combination of guilt, sorrow, and indignation in these situations. I realize that I am working on my self-knowledge and I also recognize that I am on a never ending path toward self-improvement.
hi Amy, it sounds like you’re aware of some of your avoidant patterns in relationship, and the residual feelings Glad to hear you’re devoted to your growth and I hope that things continue to evolve in your world and you feel more connected and relationally satiated. Thanks for listening =)
I’m listening to this podcast, and I know your focus is on partner relationships, but I’m struggling 2ith the fact that my son has basically shut me out of his life. We had a pretty good relationship until I stayed with him and his partner last summer ( at their invitation) and took care of their baby for about 3 months. Sharing space in their home was hard on all of us, but over the summer and since then he shut down with me and I have felt shunned ever since. He has not shared anything about himself since -We tried to talk about it, but my understanding of his feelings is that I was emotionally draining for him/them and it seems like he sees me as bearing full responsibility for the relationship rupture. I feel like he’s cut me off emotionally. Thankfully, he does allow me to visit with my granddaughter periodically (virtually – we live on opposite coasts), but it feels like I’ve lost my son.
In this podcast you talk about people being triggered – perhaps by history with mother / parent. Can you speak to any actions I can take when I AM the parent – the trigger? It is devastating.
Thank you first and foremost for opening up and sharing these details. It sounds like a painful and difficult situation and I feel for you. My name is Meg, I’m the podcast manager and its my job to reply to comments I think that the best action step from here is to encourage you to check out ‘My Relationship Coach’ and set yourself up with someone who can work with you on this one on one. I imagine any directive I give here would be well-intentioned but potentially off the mark and that a conversation would be the next best step for how to come to terms with what you’re experiencing and any potential actions to repair the rupture with your son. There is a sale on at the moment even, 50% off your first month. I’ll share a link to book a (complimentary) call with Brittney, our Client Manager who will pair you with the right coach if this sounds good. She can be reached at:
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=22071854&appointmentType=27140008. I hope that things work out for you all, sending you my best.