Jayson, Author at The Relationship School®

When Your Partner’s Anger Triggers You – SC 125

If your partner gets angry and it triggers you, listen to this one. There are a couple of basic things you can do to support each other.

QUESTION

From Kristen in Philadelphia:

Just want to thank you for everything you’ve done with the podcast – it’s had a tremendous impact on my life.
I wanted to ask you a question about healthy expressions of frustration and conflict.
I have a partnership with someone I really love and sometimes, in conflict when he’s extremely frustrated, he tends to pound a pillow or grunt or do some physical manifestation of his frustration. He tends to be more of a fighter – I’m more like freeze/flight. I have a history of physical and sexual abuse. I’ve done a lot of work with it, with EMDR and stuff like that, but still, when he does that in conflict, I find it super triggering, I get really afraid.
I talked to him about that and asked him if he could refrain from doing it around me and he was responsive, but I’m wondering if that’s healthy and something I should adapt to and allow for or if it is fair or reasonable for me to not want him to do it? Any of your thoughts would be super helpful, thanks!

SHOWNOTES

What is a healthy expression of anger? [3:00]
A powerful technique for handling things when you’re triggered [7:00]
How to deal with root-cause of anger long-term [8:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

How to Overcome Erectile Dysfunction – SC 124

If you want to know how to overcome erectile dysfunction, you’ll need a complete reframe on this entire issue. I offer my own personal experience and how I used my shame to get hard again, as well as some exact steps you can take to get in the driver’s seat of this issue and overcome it. I sprinkle in some humor to help take the edge off. This is for the men, but also will help you women out there who are with, or have been with, a man struggling with ED.

SHOWNOTES

Why some men take viagra [7:00]
Understanding what ‘soft’ means [11:00]
The system that governs your erections [13:00}
The three ways our mind can cockblock us [17:00]
How to learn from your body [24:00]
How to slow down and enjoy your sex life more [28:00]
Your action step [32:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

How to Respect Yourself More – SC 123

Why do some people get taken advantage of, taken for granted and walked all over in their relationships? In this episode I talk about one crucial step for getting the respect, appreciation, and value that you deserve in all your relationships.

SHOWNOTES

The person who is responsible for your relationship [1:00]
Who you need respect from the most [2:00]
When you tolerate people treating you poorly… [4:00]
Your action step [5:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

How to Make Online Dating Work For You – Evan Marc Katz – SC 122

Dating advice on a relationship podcast? Yes, enough people said they wanted that, so we’re experimenting with our first dating episode. Evan Marc Katz brings some amazingly simple and practical advice to the online dating scene. There are loads of great tips here to turn dumb luck into a skill. Singles will benefit, but there’s some practical relationship advice in here as well.

SHOWNOTES

How to have higher quality first dates [13:00]
The ‘2, 2, 2’ rule for better connection through online dating [15:00]
The power in being passive [23:00]
Gender roles in modern dating [24:00]
Why you don’t want a 50/50 relationship [26:00]
Balancing chemistry and compatibility [29:00]
The difference between ‘Compromising’ and ‘Settling’ [33:00]
Fighting vs problem-solving in relationship [36:00]
What if you’re dating someone who’s not into personal growth? [48:00]
Why ‘Just be yourself’ is bad advice [46:00]
Why you should be ‘Slow to hire, quick to fire’ [50:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Billed as a “personal trainer for smart, strong, successful women,” dating coach Evan Marc Katz has been helping
singles since 2003. He is the author of four books, most recently, “Believe in Love,” and has been featured in
hundreds of media outlets, including Today, the New York Times, and CNN. In 2016, Evan’s blog got over 10 million
readers and over 1000 women graduated from Love U, his six-month video course that helps women understand men and find love.
Evan is very happily married and lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children.

Is Marriage Forever? – SC 121

What are the pros and cons of looking at marriage as forever? And how can you personally engage in one of the biggest commitments of your life without falling into someone else’s programming, but also without hedging your bets and thinking you always have an out? Find out in this week’s episode.

Question from Heather – Hawaii

“Can you please clarify on why we shouldn’t be striving to stay in a marriage forever?

Backstory: I just finished listening to your latest episode about the point of marriage and it really triggered me. Here is why…you do all these amazing podcasts talking about long term relationship and how to make it better and grow not only as an individual but as a couple.. why wouldn’t you want that for the rest of your life? What is the point of trying to sustain a long term relationship when your goal is 10 years or maybe 20 and then you reevaluate… It seems to me that means giving up. Why wouldn’t you strive for forever or 50 years? If you have a partner that is willing to grow and change with you the entire time why wouldn’t that be your goal. Why would you ever put into the universe otherwise. Why would we work so hard at having a great long term relationship only to have in the back of our minds this isn’t forever. That seems like a bit of a fear of commitment still because in your mind you already have an out. To me that would be a great challenge to sustain a great relationship for 50 years. It would be work yes for sure but well worth it. I am not talking about staying just to say you made it that far I am of course talking about being truly fulfilled for that entire time and always growing to be your best selves.”

SHOWNOTES