Jayson, Author at The Relationship School®

How To Repair in 3 Steps Before You Make It Worse – SC 100

My wife Ellen shares some very practical tips on how to repair a rupture or disconnect between you and your partner. Repairing is a key skill to learn in partnership because fighting and distancing are part of the game. Not learning how to repair quickly is what separates the struggling couple from the smart couple. You must learn this folks!

SHOWNOTES

Contest announcement [5:00]
How to repair a rupture [8:00]
When you trigger your partner: the art of micro repairs [12:00]
When ‘macro repairs’ are called for [14:00]
3 steps to the micro-repair [15:00]
An example in Jayson and Ellen’s relationship [18:00]
Your Action Step [26:00]

CONTEST DETAILS

If you’re not already, become a member of the Smart Couple Community

Record a 1 minute video on your phone. Do not go over 1 minute. For the video, include your name, where you’re from, and one practical tool or tip you learned from this podcast that helped you in your relationship life.

Post it in the smart couple group. You’ll have until Saturday February 25th at Midnight Mountain Time

Prizes:

1st Prize. Indestructible Partnerships Course (30 days long)
2nd Prize. 30 minute laser coaching session with Jayson
3rd Prize. 2 free months in the Relationship School Roots Community

HELPFUL RESOURCES

The Difference Between An Insecure Relationship & A Secure Relationship

And Why Knowing The Difference Could Make Or Break Your Relationship

Husband Doesn’t Want To Work On Marriage – SC 99

If your partner doesn’t want to work on it, you have a big problem. If he or she does want to work on it and is just a little scared or unsure how to proceed, that is wonderful news. Listen here for a few tips.

SHOWNOTES

Question: We’ve been together 3 months and I’ve been on a path of self development for many years. My new partner is very new to inner work and has not prioritized that. He’s open and he’s curious but he’s new to it all. There’s a lot of fear there for me because I’m worries as we get to know each other his lack of self awareness and self understanding might create blocks. I’ve let him know this but I’m not sure whether I should just walk away now and try find somebody who I feel can meet me as an equal, or just accept him as he is. What is the healthiest thing to do in this situation?

Finding reasons why our partner ‘isn’t enough’. [2:00]
Why it’s hard if one partner doesn’t want to grow in the relationship [4:00]
If your partner is interested but slower [8:00]

Question: Is it a good idea to tell a prospective partner your non-negotiable about personal development right off the bat?

Laying your values on the table [12:00]
We all are directing our ‘growth and development’ energy somewhere [14:00]
It’s about priorities, not time. [16:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

Evolving Men’s Sexuality- From Porn To Presence – Destin Gerek – SC 98

Do you ever use sex to avoid closeness? Do you know what happens when a man who is called the Erotic Rockstar hits a wall and falls apart? In this intimate episode, we explore these questions and hear a man’s vulnerable and raw answers. You’d be surprised at some of what he has to share. There are some nuggets in this very edgy episode. From politics to porn, we cover a lot of ground. Listen to my guest Destin Gerek share his very personal story of overcoming his ego, feeling his emotions and heart, and then sharing what he’s learned (and learning) with other men.

SHOWNOTES

The most important role men can take to help women flourish [26:00]
Why women are usually more emotionally accessible than men [31:00]
Getting support from other men [33:00]
Knowing when the answer is to ‘leave’ [35:00]
How to speak so he’ll listen (and hear your hurt) [38:00]
The dangers of ‘programming’ yourself with porn [40:00]
Noticing the positive and negative effects of porn use [43:00]
Why you should remove the word ‘performance’ from your vocabulary [46:00]
For men: how to immediately get more present during sex [48:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Destin Gerek is a transformational empowerment coach who specializes in helping you tap deep into your masculine core, awaken your sexual energy, and harness this newfound power to passionately manifest your biggest visions, and create the life of your dreams. Referred to by the press as Tantra meets Tony Robbins, Destin Gerek is an internationally recognized leading voice in masculinity, sexuality, consciousness, and personal empowerment. Recognizing the need for new role models for men in these changing times, Destin is dedicated to redefining masculinity for the 21st century.

The greatest power of Destin’s transformational work is that he embodies it. Destin has taken all that he’s learned, studied, and explored, and integrated it fully into his being, such that he really walks his talk. All avenues spoken for, Destin has reached people with his message on at least six continents (we’re not sure about Antartica!), empowering individuals, couples, and groups worldwide.

My Partner Doesn’t Want To Get Married But I Do – SC 97

If one of you wants marriage and the other doesn’t, there will be problems. You both need to get crystal clear and determine how “negotiable” this is. Listen to the podcast for more detailed info on what you can do about this common dilemma.

SHOWNOTES

What if your partner won’t work on it with you? [1:00]

Question 1: My boyfriend and I have been dating 2+ years and have been unable to move forward and feel secure in our relationship because I believe in marriage and he does not. That said, he does believe in committed monogamous partnership, just not the ‘institution’.
I love and want to be with him, but it feels like we’ll forever be in this eternal impasse. Any suggestions on how to get over this hurdle, or is it simply time to move on?

The institution of marriage [3:00]
What are you really scared of? [6:00]

Question 2: My boyfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years. We both have lost a spouse and have 5 kids between us. A year ago we got engaged and were living together for 5 months. He became overwhelmed with the demands of a large, blended family and left taking his two children with him. After therapy and 9 painful months of hurting one another, we’re giving it an earnest try and restarting the relationship. What is lacking for me is commitment. We are no longer engaged and have no plans to live together.
I took one of your courses and understand my part – I understand that the relationship has to meet my needs or I need to leave. He’s not willing to commit to me through marriage and will only live in two houses as the blended family is too hard of a situation with him.
Is it true that the only way this relationship can survive is if he moves forward towards meeting my needs of commitment and living together at least part of the time?

Your ‘Non-Negotiable Needs’ [9:00]
Your Action Step [12:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

Women’s Sexuality – De-Armor Your Cervix – Olivia Bryant – SC 96

If you are a woman who feels shut down in your body or genitals, this conversation is for you. My guest Olivia Bryant helps you understand your cervix and what to do to begin the healing journey. I learned a lot here and am reminded how jammed up we are as a culture sexually. There’s so much wounding, trauma, and pain around our sex lives and our guest will help you address one potential area of your sex life that needs attention and healing.

SHOWNOTES

Learning how we shut down to learn how to open up [8:00]
Olivia’s Story of ‘de-armoring’ herself [9:00]
Understanding our ‘armoring’ and de-armoring process [11:00]
Un-learning bad habits from porn [14:00]
How the cervix becomes numb from the wrong kinds of sexual contact [15:00]
Things couple can do together to have deeper, better sex (without the pounding) [16:00]
Understanding the types, states and experiences of orgasm [19:00]
How to tap into the Orgasmic State to enhance your pleasure [21:00]
Going slower for better sex [23:00]
The De-Armoring Process: where to start, what to do and what to look for [25:00]
What not to do when experimenting with sexual healing work [29:00]
Dealing with bruised egos: how to give and receive feedback without taking it personally [30:00]
Your Action Step [40:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

Blog Post: What Happens When We Don’t Teach Boys About Sex
Olivia’s Self Cervix 21 Day Course
Facebook – Jayson Gaddis Fan Page
Monogamy & The Smart Couple – Facebook Group
How to Leave A Podcast Review

GUEST BIO

Olivia Bryant is a sexologist and a conscious loving coach. She helps women release old, pan-generational stories, heal sexual patterns and find an inner power through her work at Self:Cervix – a global movement of women courageously contacting their deepest selves.