Jayson, Author at The Relationship School®

Is Flirting Cheating? – SC 91

If you are worried that your significant other might be cheating because you also think they are flirting, then you’ll want to listen to this. There are some basic guidelines to help you understand the difference.

SHOWNOTES

I’ve been in my current relationship for 15 months. Right off the bat, we rushed into it both freshly out of our relationships. At 3 months he started ‘hardcore flirting’ in messages to facebook friends of his. He didn’t hide it, but I’m sure he didn’t expect me to see it. I found out because he disappearing act one evening and lied to me at first about where he was. A few days later, I was shocked, he was sexually flirting with others via messenger. I confronted him and he told me he loves me. “It was just talk, didn’t mean anything,” that his intentions were not to follow through on any of it, I had nothing to worry about. Besides this crap, he’s great. He’s good to me.

Do I get over my fear of him going too far at some point, losing him and just ignore the things he does privately, or do I/should I have ran the other direction as fast as I can?

Finding your ‘line’ with flirting [3:00]
What if my partner gets defensive when I ask them about it? [5:00]
Find your truth: what works for you, what doesn’t [7:00]
How to talk to your partner if you’re uncomfortable with their flirting [10:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

4 Steps To Solving Money Problems In Your Marriage – Bari Tessler Linden – SC 90

Money and Relationships! Some say this is one of the top 3 reasons people get divorced. So, do the two of you feel “on the same page” with money or is it a source of tension? If you feel challenged in any way around money in your relationship life, then listen to my friend Bari Tessler breakdown 4 steps to being a more empowered team around money. Any smart couple will want to get this part of their relationship handled and this podcast will be a great start.

SHOWNOTES

Bari’s Money Story [9:00]
Combining ‘money-stories’ with your partner: avoid the pitfalls [16:00]
What to do when one person in the relationship handles most of the finances [17:00]
How men and women can think differently about finances – and why it’s important to understand money your way [20:00]
Have you ever been surprised by a partner’s financial problems, months (or even years) into your relationship? Here’s how to handle it [21:00]
When, where and how to bring up the ‘money’ talk [23:00]
Should you be saving your grocery receipts? Merging our money can be an important step in a relationship (but it’s not for everyone) [25:00]
Dealing with shame around money [30:00]
The risks we take by not dealing with our money [34:00]
Asking for help with your finances shame-free [35:00]
Doing the emotional work first [38:00]
A practical tool for dealing with money day-to-day [40:00]
How to have ‘money-dates’ with your partner [42:00]
The four phases of money with your honey [47:00]
What happens when your partner wants to buy something ‘fun and expensive’? [57:00]
Getting clear on your money-map [1:01:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

Bari Tessler’s Website
Bari Tessler’s Book: The Art of Money
Bari Tessler’s Blog – Couples and Money
Bari’s Pocket Map For Your Money Roadtrip
The Art of Money Year-Long Program
Facebook – Jayson Gaddis Fan Page
Monogamy & The Smart Couple – Facebook Group
How to Leave A Podcast Review

GUEST BIO

Bari Tessler Linden, M.A., is a Financial Therapist, Mentor Coach, Mama-preneur, and the Founder of The Art of Money. She has guided thousands of people to new, empowered, and refreshingly honest relationships with money through her nurturing, body-centered approach. Her work has been featured on Oprah.com, Inc.com, and the Huffington Post and in US News & World Report, Reuters Money, The Fiscal Times, Experience Life Magazine, Yogi Times, Best Self Magazine and Emerging Women.

Bari earned a Masters in Somatic Psychology from Naropa University and worked in body-centered therapy for over a decade before unexpectedly falling in love with bookkeeping systems and money work. Her unique methodology integrates these two worlds into deep money healing that honors all the facets of our money relationships: body to spirit, lineage to career, smart practices to deep visioning, and much more.

Bari is currently leading a global conscious money movement via her year-long program, The Art of Money, which weaves together personal, couple and entrepreneurial money teachings. Bari is also the author of The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness, published by Parallax Press. To learn more about Bari and enjoy her Pocket Map for Your Money Road Trip: A 7 day journey into The Art of Money Method, visit: http://baritessler.com/

Texting and Relationship Advice for Young Adults – SC 89

A great 3-part question from Nathan from Oregon particularly pertaining to relationships as a young adult. He’s also wanting to find mature relationships and act more mature. Check it out.

SHOWNOTES

Question – Part 1: How do you navigate technology in relationships? When is it connecting? When is it disconnecting? As phones and technological tools are becoming more necessities, how do we use them from a place of strength?

The Do’s and Don’ts of Texting and Fighting (especially if it’s serious) [3:00]
How to address ‘scary’ topics face-to-face – words to use and when to say them [5:00]

Question – Part 2: In an early stage of life, how do you determine what is really your authentic self and not just a reflection of external influences – anything from hormones to parents?

What young people can do to discover who they are, what they want and what they value [7:00]

Question – Part 3: Could you offer any advice on how to form new relationships, or your first relationships, or how to identify people you want to bring in or keep in your life?

A mindset shift that all young adults need to make (some never do) before they can find their path in life and work [10:00]
How to become the kind of person who has high-quality, mature relationships [13:30]

HELPFUL LINKS

The Hidden Power Of Conflict – Annie Lalla – SC 88

Annie Lalla brings the heat in this amazing episode full of love and wisdom. Damn can this woman spin some distinctions and reframe so many challenges with simple, detailed examples of how we can transform our relationships into the magic we long for. I know you’re going to dig this one. A must listen to probably 2 or 3 times.

SHOWNOTES

How to use conflict to access your shadow [10:00]
Learning to use conflict and complaints to build your relational and emotional muscles [12:00]
A practical tool to help you become a master of conflict in your relationship [16:00]
How to handle disagreements in parenting [17:30]
A specific process you can follow whenever you feel triggered after being criticized [20:00]
How to effectively deliver feedback in a way that (almost) guarantees a positive reaction from your partner [22:30]
A powerful breathing & thought exercise to do as soon as you’re triggered [24:00]
The power that pre-emptive delight can have on your emotional ‘bank account’ [27:15]
An easy (and fun) way to heal your relationship to your parents [29:00]
The concept of ‘intergenerational envy’ and how it can put you back in control of healing your wounds from childhood [32:00]
How to give and receive feedback without destroying your relationship [36:00]
For men: how to best use your tone of voice to give feedback that lands with love [37:00]
The most important role a wife has in her husband’s life [39:00]
An elegant ‘family hack’ to reduce fights and resentments that you can start using tonight [40:00]
What to do if your partner doesn’t want to work on your relationship with you [45:00]
Annie’s definition of ‘True Love’ [47:00]
Your Action Step [58:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO Annie Lalla has spent her life studying the labyrinthine world of emotions–mapping the complexities of communication & subtleties of relationships. A philosopher, speaker and a thought leader, Annie is known as the “Cartographer of Love”. With an Honors Science Degree, major in Human Biology & Philosophy (minor in Buddhism), her studies include integrative psychology, evolutionary science, neurochemistry, therapeutic sexuality & systems dynamics. Alongside explorations in mystic poetry, classic literature & metaphoric narrative are professional certifications in NLP, Coaching & Hypnosis. All these realms converge in her unique Relationship Coaching practice. There, she helps individuals attract, create and foster extraordinary connections that maximize freedom and minimize shame. Specializing in love, sex & conflict resolution, Annie teaches her signature method: ‘The Art of Fighting’. She sees conflict as a crucial part of intimacy development. ”Arguments are opportunities to understand your partner better, when handled with maturity & skill they can be used to bring you closer instead of farther apart.”

Why Some Men Struggle With a Woman’s Emotions – SC 87

Why do so many men get jammed up when their female partner is emotional? It’s quite simple. For years I shut women down without even knowing I was doing it. Gulp. There’s another way fellahs.

SHOWNOTES

Question: Why is emotional intensity so difficult for men to connect with, interact with or be with?

Why is emotional intensity so difficult for some guys to deal with? [1:20]
Why some men can’t handle being around women (and people) who are depressed or going through intense emotional experiences.[4:15]
Action step: A constructive way to think and act when we ‘don’t like’ something about our partner. [5:50]

HELPFUL LINKS