Select Page

Podcast Changes & Top 10 Podcasts From 2017 – SC 179

Apple Podcast buttonGoogle Podcast button

Happy New Year! It’s time for a Smart Couple Podcast status report and list of 2017 highlights.

In this special episode, Jayson shares his candid thoughts on what worked for the podcast in 2017, what did not and the changes planned for 2018. Curious which of last year’s episodes are Jayson’s favorite? No need to guess, that top ten podcasts list is in this one!

So many exciting, enlightening and powerful moments to reflect on AND to look forward to! Have a listen and share in the positive momentum we’re taking into the new year.

Here are a few of the highlights:



  • The Smart Couple Podcast: Reflections on 2017 and Plans for 2018 [4:00]
  • What’s The Relationship School Have In Store For This Year? [12:00]
  • Jayson’s 2017 Top Ten Episodes List [17:00]




The Smart Couple Quote Book is out! This is a relationship book unlike any other. Add tools to your relationship toolbox with just a minute of reading a day. You will learn radically simple ways to avoid pointless fights, have better sex, and build an indestructible partnership.

Where you can get the Smart Couple Quote Book: On Amazon right here, right now. 


Student (DPIR) Course:

The Deep Psychology Of Intimate Relationships (DPIR) is the 9-month deep dive class on how romantic relationships work and how to succeed at them. Had you taken a course on relationships in college, this would have been it (But, the secret to this one is intense personal transformation). Your growth will be fueled by 2 live workshops in Boulder, Colorado and bi-monthly classes you can attend right from your own home. Want to like yourself more? Take this course and you’ll get others to like you more too. Click the box below to enroll and get more info!
We will have Virtual Classes every other Wednesday at 12:30pm Mountain Time. Dates Below.

Winter Semester – Virtual Classes 2018 – January 31, February 14 & 28, March 14 & 28, April 25, May 9 & 23 & 30

Summer Semester – Virtual Classes 2018 – June 6 & 20, August 15 & 29, September 12 & 26, October 10 & 24



Why Spiritually Developed People Struggle With Monogamy – Ellen & Jayson – SC 176

Apple Podcast buttonGoogle Podcast button

Is your spiritual growth helping your relationship? Are you collaborating with your partner to better yourself as an individual? Or are you going to your corner of the house to meditate all by yourself?

Their careers as therapists and decades of mediation experience have lead Jayson Gaddis and his wife Ellen Boeder to multiple spiritual development discoveries. Turns out even the most spiritually advanced amongst us struggle with relationships. Jayson and Ellen also encourage couples to discover how collaboration with a partner in times of stress can strengthen each individual.

This episode is full of tips for anyone interested in bettering themselves and their relationship at the same time!

Here are a few of the highlights:


      • How Ellen & Jayson Benefit from Spiritual Practice [2:00]
      • Even Spiritually Advanced People Struggle With Relationships [10:00]
      • Strengthening Relationships With Dependence [17:00]
      • Calming Down Together [20:00]
      • Where Spirituality Alone Falls Short [25:00]
      • When “Your” Triggers Should Be An “Us” Thing [33:00]

‘Win a Chance to be Coached By Jayson’

To celebrate my first book, The Smart Couple Quote Book and the Holiday Season, I am giving away 3 big prizes. 2nd place) $200 credit for any of my courses, 3rd place) $30 to be used in the Relationship School store and the Grand Prize is a 45-minute coaching session for you or you and your partner from me! Boom! Who’s in?

To enter to win you must go to the Jayson Gaddis Fan Page on Facebook and
1. Find the Contest Post
2. Like the contest post
3. Comment on the post with what you love about The Smart Couple Book
3. Share the post and tag 3 friends

AND extra bonus points:
For an extra 5 entries into the raffle, post a selfie of you on your social channels with the book tagging Jayson Gaddis OR leave a review of the book on Amazon. If you leave a review, email us a screenshot of your review at [email protected] . Make sure we see the tagged post as well. Send us an email as a back up with a link to your social post.

Contest is open to anyone in the world until December 10 at 11:59p MT. Winners will be announced on the Smart Couple Podcast and Facebook on Wednesday, December 13th.




Ellen Boeder is a psychotherapist in private practice in Boulder, Colorado. Since 2004, she has worked primarily with women and is now incorporating couple therapy into her practice. Her theoretic approach includes transpersonal psychology, developmental attachment theory, family systems, and somatic and energetic modalities. For couple therapy she also utilizes Stan Tatkin’s model, the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT). She is inspired to support women and couple’s heal and grow in ways that liberate their authentic selves.


Conflict Is Good News – Diane Musho Hamilton – SC 20

Apple Podcast buttonGoogle Podcast button

I really enjoyed this conversation with Zen teacher Diane Hamilton. She brings such a genuine willingness to move toward what’s uncomfortable in our relationships. We explore why she left the mormon church and how she got into zen practice. We also take a good look at parenting, marriage, and why it’s so paramount to be able to take our partner’s point of view. I know you’ll appreciate this dialogue.


  • A special guest kicks off the podcast [0:10]
  • Beginning of the interview [5:20]
  • Diane shares the arc of her life up to this point [6:00]
  • Diane’s “genius zone”: Meditation and Mediation [10:00]

I don’t want peace at the sake of low energy, nor do I want high energy at the sake of harmony.  Those qualities both matter. – Diane Musho Hamilton

  • Skill with conflict = comfort with difference [16:00]

A couple that can take each other’s perspectives, as well as perspectives from their children or perspectives from the outside, generally points to a couple that has more flexibility and more range in their relationship. – Diane Musho Hamilton

  • Diane shares about the relationship dynamic with her husband [19:30]
  • Diane defines conflict: “Extreme difference that is fueled by emotion, and is very disruptive to the system” [21:00]
  • Why is conflict “good news”? [22:10]
  • The 3 styles of conflict [24:15]
    • Avoidance
    • Accommodation
    • Aggression
  • How Diane uses meditation to work with conflict [29:00]
  • Diane demos mindfulness meditation [32:50]

[bctt tweet=”If you can’t sit with yourself, then you can’t really sit with anyone else – Diane Musho Hamilton “]

  • The yogic practice of hearing perspectives we don’t agree with [39:00]
  • Bringing Zen and Integral into conflict [45:40]

[bctt tweet=”The more developed a person is, the more perspectives they can take. – Diane Musho Hamilton”]


Dumb Fights

My upcoming Conflict Webinar

Diane’s Website

Diane’s Book: Everything Is Workable 

10 Directions

The Integral Map

The Enneagram

Zen Buddhism



Diane Musho Hamilton is an exceptionally gifted mediator, group facilitator, and one of the authentic contemporary spiritual teachers of our time.

Combining decades of innovation in conflict resolution with an enthusiasm for life, she knows how to address the challenges of our modern experience with an uncommon spiritual perspective.

With extraordinary warmth, depth and insight, she encourages us to consciously evolve beyond old and limited ideas of who we are so that we might discover our own unique expression of wisdom and of compassion in this time.



How Therapist Bruce Tift Helped Me Have The Balls To Marry My Wife – SC 18

Apple Podcast buttonGoogle Podcast button

Bruce was one of THE pivotal factors in helping me marry my wife before she slammed the door shut on me. Hear that story in this episode and why it’s so common for couples to struggle. Bruce offers a powerful frame for relationship and intimacy and makes the distinction between the developmental work we need to do, and the possibility that we are “already free” in relationship. Check it.


  • How Jayson met Bruce [1:15]
  • “I give [Bruce] credit for saving my marriage” – Jayson [2:30]
  • Start of interview [3:50]
  • How does ambivalence factor into a long-term relationship? [6:15]
  • The interplay of the basic energies of separation and connection [8:30]

[bctt tweet=”An intimate relationship is inherently disturbing – Bruce Tift”]

  • Intimacy vs. Closeness [12:30]
  • Bruce’s core philosophy [15:30]
  • Relationship is like riding a bicycle…it’s all about balance [17:15]

Couples unconsciously collude or agree to maintain problems, because it gives each person a feeling of being solid and significant, even if it’s in a painful way. – Bruce [20:40]

  • A good first step for couples stuck in an adversarial relationship – The practice of personal responsibility  [21:31]
  • Why it’s important to let go of claiming that your partner is the cause of your difficult emotions [23:50]
  • Bruce shares about his marriage [26:00]
  • Bruce shares his story of becoming a therapist [31:00]
  • What is a “successful relationship”? [38:00]

[bctt tweet=”Relating to an intimate partner is guaranteed to force out into the open any unresolved issues we have – Bruce Tift” via=”no”]

  • Bruce shares how parenting has impacted his relationships and his life [42:15]
  • Having kids is a real good practice in how willing are we to let another person just be who they are. [45:40]
  • Sexual intimacy in a long-term relationship [45:50]
  • Approaching sexuality as a disciplined practice [50:30]
  • Bruce talks about personal responsibility [54:40]
  • Bruce shares about his new book Already Free – [1:00:00]



“Already Free” the audio book

“Already Free” the book

Soundstrue Interview with Bruce

10 Agreements of an Indestructible Marriage


bruce tift podcast

Bruce Tift, MA, LMFT, has been in private practice since 1979, taught at Naropa University for 25 years, worked in a psychiatric ward and as a family therapist with social services, and has given presentations in the US, Mexico, and Japan. A practitioner of Vajrayana Buddhism for more than 40 years, he had the good fortune to be a student of Chogyam Trungpa, Rinpoche, and to meet a number of realized teachers. Bruce guesses he’s worked with between 3000 and 4000 couples over the years!



Ayahuasca & Relationships – Geoff Hanzlik and Richard Furr – SC 15

Apple Podcast buttonGoogle Podcast button



Can plant medicine such as Ayahuasca help our marriages? In this episode I interview two very experienced guests who have both done over 500 ceremonies with this sacred medicine. We dive deep into this question, highlighting Ayahuasca’s strengths as a healing modality and where this medicine may fall short when it comes to interpersonal relationships.


  • Jayson’s early Ayahuasca experiences [2:30]
  • Intro to Geoff Hanzlik [4:50]
  • Intro to Richard Furr [5:45]
  • Beginning of interview [6:50]
  • Geoff shares how early depression lead him to Ayahuasca [8:40]

They said to me, it’s something they would give both to their best friend, and to their worst enemy. – Geoff  [9:30]

  • Richard shares how he entered the Ayahuasca path [11:35]
  • What exactly is Ayahuasca? [14:20]
  • Potential dangers and downsides of Ayahuasca [17:35]

[bctt tweet=”Ayahuasca definitely can open the floodgates of the unconscious – Richard Furr”]

  • Can this medicine “make you more sensitive”? [22:45]
  • Is group processing needed before and after ceremonies?  [25:00]
  • Bringing therapy into the conversation [26:00]
  • The greatest thing the medicine taught Jayson [28:50]
  • Does Ayahuasca help with our intimate relationships? [30:55]
  • How would one use Ayahuasca to help their relationship life? [39:30]

[bctt tweet=”It’s very rapid change…therapy combined with Ayahuasca can be really powerful – Geoff Hanzlik”]

  • Richard helps those struggling to integrate their Ayahuasca experience [44:15]
  • Inner depth healing vs. developing relational skills – [48:00]
  • Ayahuasca is not a ‘quick fix’ [51:10]
  • “This isn’t a ‘dabblers’ path” [54:50]
  • Richard shares the dangers of pushing Ayahuasca on others [1:00:00]
  • How are relational dynamics addressed in spiritual communities? [1:05:00]

Virtually everything that could trigger me in a relationship, has a deeper source inside of myself – Richard [1:10:15]

  • Conclusion/outro [1:11:45]



Ayahuasca Wikipedia Link

Renowned Doctor Gabor Mate on Psychedelics and Unlocking the Unconscious

A short documentary on Santo Daime

Santo Daime Wikipedia Link

MDMA & Relationships Podcast

What LSD, Ayahuasca & My Wife Taught Me About Intimacy

The Ayahuasca Wave

How Do We Integrate The Ayahuasca Experience?




Geoff Hanzlik, M.S.W. is a psychotherapist in private practice in Boulder, Colorado. He also runs a consulting practice for professionals called Tidal Coaching. From 1998 until 2013, Geoff participated in 500+ rituals in the Santo Daime religion as a musician, facilitator, and student. He lives with his wife and 2 children in Boulder.
Geoff Hanzlick’s Website


Richard Furr is a psychotherapist, trauma healing specialist, and consultant in Boulder, Colorado. He loves spending time in nature and exploring relational intimacy with his partner and close friends.  Richard has extensive experience with shamanic healing including training with Stanislav Grof and also underwent a 15 year shamanic initiation/spiritual emergency that included, among many other things, over 500 ayahuasca ceremonies.  Richard specializes in working with spiritual emergency, high intensity fear states, birth trauma and healthy integration of challenging medicine experiences.  Richard hosts 1-on-1 and small group psychotherapy and healing intensives and has clients from around the world.

Richard Furr’s Website