Couples that survive the toughest relationship challenges are so impressive! Leahnora and Noah are one of those couples. Cheating nearly tore them apart but they made commitments to change themselves and now they’re stronger than ever before.
What did they do? How do they handle the baggage of their past?
Jayson explores the tough questions here. Also, Leahnora and Noah are still working through some common issues around sexuality and conflict and they share vulnerably about this as Jayson gives some relationship coaching.
Here are a few of the highlights:
- How did Noah handle the cheating? [9:00]
- Leahnora & Noah’s personal growth paths [15:00]
- Defensiveness isn’t always bad [25:00]
- Their open relationship experience [29:00]
- Noah & Leahnora’s fighting style [35:00]
- Trusting love’s message no matter the cost [40:00]
- Jayson addresses their sexuality struggles [44:00]
- When you’re both triggered [54:00]
- Don’t respond with “That wasn’t my intent” [60:00]
If you would like to connect with Leahnora and/or Noah, they can be contacted at [email protected] and [email protected].
Noah and Leahnora have been together for over 5 years, and got married summer 2017. Noah is 35 years and Leahnora is 34. They have two dogs but no kids (this is something they are excited about for the future). They went to high school together in San Diego, CA and now reside in Oakland, California. Noah works a real estate agent and Leahnora works for the California Department of Transportation as an environmental planner. They are both passionate about philosophy and the interconnection of humans, and navigating their way through the human condition. They have vowed to use their marriage as a container for a path to personal and couple awakening.
Leahnora and Noah’s struggles began early in their relationship. Leahnora was dating other guys while Noah was coming out of a spiritual quest in India. At the time, they couldn’t have been more opposite. Their first 3 years together were HELL. Leahnora was cheating and keeping secrets, and Noah was in his own bubble and stubbornly clinging to his self-righteous worldviews. Through years of hard work we were finally able to get on the same page and since Noah proposed, things have been wonderful.
Leahnora and Noah’s main issue is currently around sex. Noah wants more, and Leahnora could care less. About once a week, they get into the same argument. Noah thinks Leahnora doesn’t want sex because of her past unresolved trauma, and Leahnora is annoyed and frustrated that Noah is not truly understanding to give her the space to explore sexuality, in her own way. They both feel trapped. Leahnora is craving safety and Noah is craving sex.
They are looking for a way to find common ground, so that they both feel their needs getting adequately met.
Appreciate how difficult it is to share your stuggles publicly. Can definitely relate with the difficulty of both partners being triggered at the same time.
Have to state what I see as causing a huge problem for intimate sexuality. I don’t believe it is possible with porn being involved. You are literally including other ppl in your sex life. I have been there and until you get rid of it you do not realize the amount of relief and increased intimacy you can have with it gone!
Hoping for the best for both of you.
Thanks for sharing your perspective Andy, that’s a great way to think about it (including others in your sex life while in a monogamous relationship). Thanks for listening =)