Kids have been getting a lot of attention for troubling behavior recently…committing mass shootings, posting disturbing viral videos and lashing out at their parents with shocking rage. What is going on!?!

During his many years working with troubled youth, renowned author and counselor Kim John Payne has come to a rather shocking conclusion. Maybe there’s no such thing as a disobedient child. Perhaps, we just don’t understand what’s really going on. Don’t mistake Kim’s feelings about “disobedience” for opposition to discipline. He says we need more of it!

In this episode, Jayson and Kim discuss ways to bring a balance of power back to the household and with any luck maybe a little peace as well!

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

- - Be Inquisitive, Not Accusatory [18:00]
  - When a Child is Distressed, Connection is Key [27:00]
  - Why it’s a Mistake to Give Kids Too Many Choices [31:00]
  - Don’t Take it Personally When Your Kid Pushes Your Buttons [45:00]
  - Are You “Peer Parenting”? [49:00]
  - What You Can Do to Take Back the Leadership Role [58:00]
  - Kim’s Take on Youth Involvement in Mass Shootings [1:01:00]
  - How to Parent Post National Tragedy [1:04:00]
  - Your Home the War Zone [1:10:00]
  - The Four Types Love & Why We Shouldn’t Confuse Them [1:16:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Kim John Payne has been quietly and passionately working to help tens of thousands of people give voice to the feeling that something is not okay about the new normal of overwhelm that so many people are now experiencing. He offers do-able ways to realize the hopes and values we all have for ourselves, and build deep connections with our children that gives families resiliency and simple joy.

A consultant and trainer to over 230 U.S. independent and public schools, Kim John Payne, M.ED, has been a school counselor, adult educator, consultant, researcher, educator and a private family counselor for twenty seven years.

Kim has worked extensively with the North American and UK Waldorf educational movements. He has served as Director of the Collaborative Counseling program at Antioch University New England. He is the Director of the Simplicity Project a multi media social network that explores what really connects and disconnects us to ourselves and to the world. Together with his team they have trained around 1000 Simplicity Parenting Coaches around the world. Kim is the Founding Director of The Center for Social Sustainability, an organization that has trained thousands of teachers, parents and students in the Three Stream Process that gives social, emotional and behavioral support to children who struggle in the school environment.

In addition to authoring the #1 Best Seller Simplicity Parenting© . Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kid, published by Random House Penguin in 2009, he also authored The Games Children Play©, (1996) published by Hawthorn Press ,The Soul of Discipline (2015 Random House/Penguin), co-authored Whole Child Sport™ How to Navigate Child & Youth Sports™. and Being At Your best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst (Shambhala Press 2017). His books have been translated into 27 languages.

Kim strives to deepen understanding and give practical tools for life that arise out of the burning social issues of our time. He is lives on a farm in Ashfield, Massachusetts with his wife and two children.