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For Men Who Suck At Listening – SC 30

By Jayson
January 6, 2016

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Do you know how to listen to an emotional woman? Yikes!

This one’s for the men out there (and yes, some women are not great listeners as well, I get that). If you’re anything like me you know it can be hard to listen to your woman. It’s probably in your best interest to sharpen your listening skills in a way that opens her up and softens her.  How do you do that?

In 3 simple steps, which I outline in the podcast.  I talk about what it means to FRACK your woman, and why you want to avoid it.  Also I share 3 words to tell your woman so that she feels validated.  Finally, I bring in a great rule of thumb I share with my wife when it comes to listening and understanding her. You’ll want to hear this one, as it was a game-changer for our whole relationship.  Make sure to leave a comment or any questions you have below!

[bctt tweet=”You’re uncomfortable with your woman’s emotions because you’re uncomfortable with your own.”]

If you want to get her to calm down, or open up to you, download this: 

Cheat Sheet: Less Drama

how to listen to my wife




  1. Keith Kollberg

    Good Day,

    Just listened to “For men who Suck at Listening ”
    Oh Boy….Oh Girl….Awesome…
    Will be listening over and over and over. Sense that the patterns were established at a young age in family.
    Interesting on every point …..exactly what I do in relationship.
    Looking forward in kicking this one in the ass.
    Will be taking the information deeply within, working 24/7 with this information.
    Perfect timing for me….so Thank You…

    • Jayson

      Keith. So glad you “got it” and are motivated to kicking it in the ass. Solid. No, Thank you.

  2. scott

    Everything you have covered is true for me what a revelation totally makes sense now. Always felt uncomfortable around my partners emotions and either shut down or walked away confused. All down to how I grew up in a dysfunctional family environment where there was no manual as such to refer to. Thank you Jayson so much for the tools and advice I will keep listening and learning a new way and change the habits of a life time.

    • meg@relationshipschool.com

      Scott, really appreciate how humbly you’re owning your part, and your commitment to learning and growing to change years/decades worth of patterns that have very deep roots. Thanks for listening and hope you’re seeing the results you are working towards.

  3. Sheri

    I loved this. I wanted to download this podcast and smuggle it onto my husbands phone^^ You make some great points about listening. What I really did not like, though, was the actual listening.
    I do a lot of listening exchange to deal with past triggers and work trough stuff, which is working amazingly well. This listening exchange follows a few simple rules
    For the listener: Do not interrupt. Do not commiserate. Do not offer advice or try to fix things (you got that covered). Do not take over with own experiences. Just listen. Don’t ask questions if you do not understand something or can’t follow, you do not have to understand anything, you are just there to hold the place that the other person is good and will figure this out.
    For the one talking: You do not have to make sense. You are not there to entertain your listener. Go where the feelings are, make noise, offload emotion.

    Now these exchanges serve a specific goal: offload emotions, work through stuff, get rid of old feelings and triggers, in short: get back of whatever blocks your thinking brain.
    I think most of these rules are good guidelines for listening in general, though. You seem to agree, for example, that the person that is listened to has to work through emotions. What happens when you interrupt and ask questions, though, is that she has to go back into her thinking brain to answer these questions and to think about whether the summary you gave is correct. In my experience that hinders the process of offloading feelings.

    So I am curious, why you suggest this specific approach to listening. Would be great to exchange thoughts on this

    • meg@relationshipschool.com

      Hi Sheri, I apologise for the delay in replying to your question. If you’re still open to an exchange I think Jayson is a lot more active on the Facebook Community Group, and may even take your question into another episode. Here’s the link if you want to copy and paste your comment there, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and listening: https://www.facebook.com/groups/therelationshipschool.


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