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Is Polyamory For Me? – SC 36

By Jayson
February 17, 2016

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In this one, we answer your question, is polyamory for me? In this eye-opening episode, I interview six people who practice some form of polyamory and open relationships. They share their raw and realistic perspectives on both the potential benefits and challenges of choosing polyamorous relationships. They also help explain the numerous terms that can be confusing for a polyamory beginner. And be sure to listen to the very end where I reveal a big aha on what monogamists can learn from polyamorists!


  • What is the difference between poly, open and swinging? [10:25]
  • Why would anyone want to become polyamorous? [15:25]
  • What is the same fear that shows up in both polyamorous and monogamous relationships? [25:45]
  • What is a “second base party? [26:20]
  • Does a primary partner always have to feel like they’re in first place? [28:20]
  • How do you navigate polyamory and parenting? [29:16]
  • What is “veto power” in a polyamorous relationship? [30:35]
  • The pitfalls to avoid and keys to remember when starting out in polyamory? [32:34]
  • The difference between a “primary” and a secondary”? [38:20]
  • What is the personal growth opportunity in both polyamory and monogamy? [47:30]
  • Why compersion is necessary in polyamory [53:40]
  • What happens when you slow things down [58:40]
  • How a Q-TIP can help you [60:20]
  • Jayson’s big aha about polyamory [1:05:20]


Jayson Gaddis
10 Agreements of An Indestructible Marriage

David and Sue:


Philippe Lewis
Poly Boundary Card Game
Open Relationship Community Facebook Group
(Note: email [email protected] after asking to join the group.)
Exquisite Love

Laurie Ellington
Poly Coach

Mary Wolf
Contact: [email protected]

[bctt tweet=”We want to have other partners in our life that are harmonious with what we’ve already created. — Paget”]



David Early and Sue Stuart have been partners for the eight years since they first met at Burning Man, and have been polyamorous throughout their relationship.  David works part time as a consulting city planner and has two sons, ages 19 and 13.  Sue is a registered nurse and teacher of contact improvisation, and has a 22 year old daughter.  David and Sue organize a dance and sexuality event called “Connect. Dance. Love.” and are part of the San Francisco Bay Area’s polyamorous community. www.connectdancelove.com


Philippe Lewis and Paget. Phillipe is a Love Coach, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Trained Somatica Practitioner, and Epic Event Producer. For the last 18 years, he has been exploring love, relationships, intimacy, sensuality and sexuality with individuals and communities through teaching, writing, coaching and (sexy) events with the goal of growing men and women into better lovers and better humans. He is a father, a lover, a partner, a husband, a teacher, a producer, a writer, a social artist, a coach, a counselor, and much more. His love for life is as diverse as his love and sex life itself! More info: Exquisite Love


Laurie Ellington is an open relationship and polyamorous lifestyle coach – Poly Coach. She works with individuals and couples who are curious about, considering and/or actively involved in open relationships, polyamory, polyamorous dating, and anything in between. Laurie teaches her clients effective communication and authentic relating skills. She helps her clients break through negative patterns, step into what is true for them, and make choices that serve their highest integrity, with their self and with others. Laurie’s teaching is deeply rooted in a polyamorous lifestyle. Through this open way of living and loving, she has discovered her true freedom of expression in all of her relationships, most importantly with herself. Laurie has clients all over the world and lives in Austin, Texas. More info: Poly Coach


Mary Wolf is a visionary artisan of cultural healing and evolution, here to arouse souls to our wildest potential.  She is known for her compassionate and intuitive teachings on relationships, sex and yes, parenting. Her own hunger and inner struggle for healing and awareness in her personal life has inspired those around her and has been the source of passion for the work she does. Her formal education includes a BA in Psychology/Art Therapy and a MA in Transpersonal Psychology from Naropa University. As a professional practitioner she has gained invaluable experience as a Registered/ Body Centered Psychotherapist, Parenting Educator and Coach, Relationship Educator, Sex therapist and former Owner/Editor of Loving More Magazine. She has studied, assisted, and been blessed with the presence and wisdom of many Masters around the world for over 20 years, including: Level 4 student of the Chuluaqui Quodoushka path of sacred sexuality, the Human Awareness Institute (HAI), Body Electric, and various traditions of Tantra. She is also an author, workshop facilitator, fine artist, ceremonialist, and public speaker who has been featured in TIME magazine and appeared on national and international TV and radio shows. Contact: [email protected]




  1. Donna Allgaier-Lamberti

    I have an adult son who is involved in a poly relationship with two women. I have met them and like them both. I believe he choose this after his 7 years monogamous marriage failed and he now feels that a traditional monogamous marriage is no longer a long-term workable situation. I happen think his issue is “marriage” more than anything. As a lifelong monogamous wife myself, it has been difficult to wrap my head around this life choice but I have made a conscious decision to accept his choice and him. My son seems happy but of course I admit I do wonder how it is between jobs, home maintenance, children, fitness schedules and personal interests who has the time (mental, physical and emotional energy) to maintain more than one serious relations?
    I also question the health risks involved with being sexual with so many partners. I have always been of the mind when you sleep with on person you are essentially sleeping with all of their multiple partners. Every additional sexual partners adds an another layer of risk. I personally find this physical risk is just too great but apparently these folks do not.
    These people are young and middle age, actively working or childless. I can see how this could work. But as an aging woman, I certainly wonder how this work as partners age? When one of the aging partners gets sick, who takes care of them or do partners just bail? Without marriages, how do they manage the financial situation of insurances, pensions, social security? What happens when one is financially well set but one is not?
    I want to be monogamous. I know that poly would not work for me but apparently this is working for my son.

    • meg@relationshipschool.com

      I applaud your openness and acceptance and I imagine its sourced in your deep Love for him. Nice work =) The movie “Dr. Marsten and the Wonder Women” come to mind, which might give you some insight into how their particular triangulation worked (I think they did an incredible job). Of course I can’t speak for anyone in particular, especially your son. Thanks for sharing and listening =)


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