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3 Words To Instantly Transform A Fight – With Gaby and Raj – SC 35

By Jayson
February 10, 2016

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In this fun and enlightening episode, I interview Gaby and Raj, two powerful relationship coaches and teachers with a unique perspective on marriage, conflict and personal growth. They are committed to spreading one message—if you are struggling to have a sense of play, peace or passion in your relationship, it’s not your fault (relationships can be seriously challenging!). And they share how resolving conflict doesn’t have to be so serious or significant. I love how artfully they weave lightness, humor and play into their work with couples.


  • What did one guest say at their engagement party that gave them a reality check? [4:50]
  • How did Gaby and Raj get into relationship work? [5:36]
  • One key distinction on how to view struggles in a relationship [8:15]
  • The two things that define a fight [10:10]
  • Three words that can transform a fight in an instant [13:35]
  • Introverted man and extroverted woman [16:50]
  • How to reframe the things you don’t like about your partner [20:03]
  • Why we attract our opposite in a partner [24:16]
  • Does the behavior define the person? [24:55]
  • What role does community play in a marriage? [25:15]
  • What to say to each other before each meal. [34:28]
  • Different versions of fights [38:40]


[bctt tweet=”Don’t wait for your problems to come to you before your relationship demands your attention.”]



Gaby and Raj decided to use all the pain and frustration they were going through to learn about navigating conflict and what made relationships soar rather than sink. They’ve done tons of research, a ridiculous amount of reading, went to what seemed like one too many workshops, and had plenty of their own “learning opportunities.” They were committed to taking action to get clear about exactly what they wanted (as opposed to focusing on their complaints and all that they did NOT want) and what it would take to get there. Then friends and strangers wanted to know what the Secret Sauce is to their marriage. In fact, the whole reason Gaby and Raj are even working in the relationship education world is because for years, people kept asking them to do it. From the drudgery and despair to play and passion, they offer many tips, tricks and games they’ve used to put an END to all the tension, the bickering and the separateness so you can START having a “playful, peaceful and passionate relationship – a P3 Relationship.” You can find out more about them and their work here.




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