Jayson, Author at The Relationship School®

The 4 Freedoms That Develop Masculine Depth & Purpose – Satyen Raja – SC 140

The feeling of being lost and purposeless in life has a big impact on our relationships. Men and women have a deep need to not only connect with each other, but connect to a bigger meaning in their life.

Satyen Raja is an expert at helping us develop the higher levels of purpose & evolution in our lives – and this affects everything from our work, our relationships with our partners & kids, our fitness and our level of satisfaction with our lives.

His ‘4 freedoms’ is an extremely useful exercise to helping you keep your eye on your highest self – especially if we’re suffering in feeling lost and without direction.

This episode, largely geared toward the men, will challenge you and give you a toolkit that dramatically increase your relationship and life satisfaction if you apply them – listen carefully for the exercises and grab a notebook, because these ones are important.

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

How to create a relationship where both partners are learning from and inspiring one another [13:00]
Satyen’s number one thing he’s learned as a man in relationship to his wife [15:00]
Men & women triggering each other & how to deal with both [17:00]
How men can listen better in conflict without being a ‘doormat’ [18:00]
A martial arts technique to calm down when you’re triggered [19:00]
The “4 freedoms” for accelerated evolution and higher purpose [22:00]
A 10min exercise men can do to bring more presence to their partner [30:00]
How to move toward more meaning in life [43:00]
Satyen’s “Accelerated Evolution” trauma-release technique [49:00]
Satyen’s advice for men who are stuck or lost in life [61:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Satyen Raja, founder and president of WarriorSage, is a widely respected living synthesis of Eastern wisdom and Western practicality, combining the power of the Warrior and the wisdom of the Sage. He is a lifetime black belt Martial Artist and a penetrating real visionary who compels his clients to harness their greatest obstacles and transform them into their most powerful gifts. Satyen draws from the realms of unparalleled techniques of life mastery, his profound life experience, and his natural ability to navigate beyond societal, cultural and conditioned identities to attain peak consciousness.

A master in a plethora of healing and consciousness raising modalities, Satyen is unique in the world of business and life coaching. His revolutionary methods attract CEO’s, Entrepreneurs and High Level Leaders from around the world. His provocative methods combined with his dynamic personality and passion for accelerated evolution create fundamental breakthroughs both for the individual and corporate culture. For all those who have had the great pleasure of his presence, he is known to be a man who most definitely walks his talk. Satyen has invested over three decades in hands-on research and he has led workshops for tens of thousands of individuals internationally in the art of ‘true power’. Satyen’s dramatic style is not for the timid. Through his teachings, your weaknesses become strengths… Quickly!

Satyen teaches with clarity, power and provocation. In his presence you are compelled to search within and to draw out your latent abilities. Through dynamic examples, compelling stories, mind-expanding experiences, spontaneous humour and proven practices, Satyen motivates, provokes and inspires you into accepting and cultivating your own greatness. Satyen’s focus on bringing the teachings into your physical body and into your real life, rather than just lecturing, sets him apart from other teachers and empowers you to make lasting changes in your life.

When Satyen leads, he holds nothing back; he gives you all of himself. Satyen masterfully uses his unique gifts to bring your fears and your unconscious self-limiting patterns to the surface and then resolves them fast. Using his intuition and his experience, Satyen ripens you by exposing your deepest heart and gifts. He sees you at your core and takes you past your edge where real transformation takes place. The Path of the WarriorSage, although not for the timid, is deep, fast and razor effective. This level of spiritual practice is intense. You must be willing to go into the fire and grow your heart. Satyen offers this opportunity for transformation out of his passion to help you awaken. Satyen is the teacher for you only if you are seeking real change.

Therapy Vs Coaching – SC 139

Is there a difference between therapy and coaching? In this episode, I explore the main differences and what matters more than anything else when trying to find a good therapist or coach to help you through your relationship challenges.

SHOWNOTES

Where should you go for relationship advice? [2:00]
The difference between a psychiatrist, a psychologist, and a psychotherapist [4:00]
Why do some coaches charge more than therapists? [10:00]
Good coaching vs bad coaching [11:00]
How bad therapy can keep you stuck [13:00]
When should you go to a therapist and when should you go to a coach? [16:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

How Having Expectations Can Hurt Your Relationship – Christine Hassler – SC 138

There are two giant ways we screw up our relationships. One is by breaking agreements. The other is by never having agreements to begin with.

Broken agreements can be great opportunities to open a dialogue with our partner about our needs, renegotiate our agreements if they no longer make sense, or even draw a hard boundary around what we will and won’t tolerate.

But what happens when we never have agreements to begin with?

Expecting our partner to do, be and act a certain way without clearly communicating is a recipe for an almost certain ‘sh*t hitting the fan’ fight.

In this conversation with Christine Hassler, we dive into the world of agreements, communication and what she calls ‘expectation hangovers’.

Make sure to listen carefully for the three ways that we fall prey to toxic (and easily preventable) expectations that can blow up in our faces when left unchecked – in our relationships and in our lives.

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

Christine’s story [7:00]
How beliefs ingrained early in childhood can show up as physiological symptoms later [10:00]
What depression can tell us about suppressed or repressed emotions [10:00]
What Christine calls “Journey Mates” (and why not all break-ups are a bad thing) [12:00]
Exercises for self-compassion and self-awareness [17:00]
The difference between Agreements and Expectations [23:00]
How to handle broken agreements in relationship [25:00]
How to handle it when your partner doesn’t meet your expectations [25:00]
What is an “Expectation Hangover”? [26:00]
What we DON’T want to do when dealing with an Expectation Hangover [28:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Christine Hassler left her successful job as a Hollywood agent at 25 to pursue a life she could be passionate about . . . but it did not come easily. After being inspired by her own unexpected challenges and experiences, she realized her journey was indeed her destination. In 2005, she wrote the first guidebook written exclusively for young women, entitled 20 Something 20 Everything. Christine’s second book, The 20 Something Manifesto written for men and women stems from her experience coaching twenty-something’s. Her newest book Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love and Life is the guidebook for how to treat disappointment on the emotional, mental, behavioral and spiritual levels.

Today, she supports individuals in discovering the answers to the questions: “Who Am I, What do I want, and How do I get it?” Christine is a Life Coach with a counseling emphasis known for catalyzing radical self-reflection while offering practical direction. She is passionate about busting the myth that life is about living by a checklist and having it all figured out. Christine believes we all deserve and are capable of discovering our passion, pursuing our dreams, and making an impact on the world. Check out the rest of her bio here.

How to Re-Parent a Triggered Partner – SC 137

Dealing with a partner who is triggered can be difficult – especially if they respond negatively to your help.

Maybe you’ve been here before: your partner is upset about something, you do your best to give them some encouraging words or to calm them down, but no matter what you do, your partner’s gets more and more upset (or worse… now upset with you for trying to help).

If you’ve ever been in this situation before and want to know how to prevent it, this episode is for you.

QUESTION:
How do we re-parent our partner, and meet them in regressive child-like states when they are triggered without infantilizing them? I find when I go into nurturing mode when my partner is triggered, he often responds with aggression, I think in part because it feels emasculating or patronizing, or possibly because he doesn’t feel lovable in those moments.
– Caitlin

SHOWNOTES

Caitlin’s question [4:00]
Why do men get triggered when you try to help them? [5:00]
How to take care of your man without him feeling emasculated [6:00]
Learning how to help each other when you’re triggered [7:00]
What to do when your partner responds to your support with aggression [10:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

Why Self Awareness & Digging Into Your Past Helps You Get A Great Relationship – Alexandra Solomon – SC 136

A major shift is happening with the way we educate young adults about relationships and sex. Despite what we hear in the media about the ‘hookup culture,’ the majority of young adults are very interested in learning about relationships and long-term partnerships.

Alexandra Solomon is paving the way in the academic world, educating both students and adults in the all-important long-term relationship game. If you’re a parent or a teacher, this is a great episode to listen to. You’ll get a sense of what the important topics, conversations and areas that young adults are wanting to know about when it comes to relationships.

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

Alexandra’s story [3:00]
Exploring the lessons you learned in childhood [13:00]
How to talk to students about sex and relationships [18:00]
Teaching young adults to shift from ‘performance-based’ sex to connection-based sex [20:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Dr. Alexandra Solomon is a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University and a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University. In addition to writing articles and chapters for leading academic journals and books in the field of marriage and family, she is the author of the book Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want (New Harbinger, 2017). Dr. Solomon maintains a psychotherapy practice for individual adults and couples at The Family Institute at Northwestern University’s Northbrook location. In addition to teaching and training marriage and family therapy graduate students, Dr. Solomon teaches the internationally renowned undergraduate course, “Building Loving and Lasting Relationships: Marriage 101.” Dr. Solomon is a frequent speaker and media commentator on relationship topics and you can visit her online at dralexandrasolomon.com.