Jayson, Author at The Relationship School®

Boundaries – Relationship Tool With Lisa Dion – SC 40

Boundaries are by far one of the most important tools in intimate relationships. How much do you struggle to say no says a lot about how much you value yourself. You must get boundaries if you want to go the distance in a relationship.

SHOWNOTES

The huge breakthrough insight about boundaries that Lisa shared with Jayson [5:13]
The four things our brain is always scanning for to determine there is a threat or challenge [7:24]
What is Lisa’s definition of a boundary? [13:20]
Jayson and Lisa demonstrate how to set a boundary [16:33]
The big fear we all carry in ourselves [20:05]
The weakness many of us have in receiving a boundary request [22:02]
What are the most common feedback signs our body tells us? [25:50]
The three types of boundaries [30:56]
Jayson issues a boundary challenge [43:04]

HELPFUL LINKS

http://lisa-dion.com
http://synergeticplaytherapy.com
Monogamy and The Smart Couple Facebook Group (and report how your boundary challenge went!)

[bctt tweet=”A boundary is the point at which I can no longer be myself or I’m about to lose myself. – Lisa Dion”]

PODCAST GUEST

Lisa Dion has provided consultation and counseling to children, adults, couples and businesses for over 15 years. Her training and understanding of how the mind and a person’s biology drives human behavior allows her to offer clients a unique perspective and understanding on how to maximize their potential and develop a greater appreciation for themselves and the people in their lives. Lisa is the only person in the world holding combined certifications as a Senior Certified Demartini Method Facilitator^® and a Registered Play Therapy Supervisor. Lisa’s cutting edge approach gifts her the ability to meet the needs of Fortune 500 Leaders and out of control 3 year-olds, all in the same day. Lisa is dedicated to awakening certainty, presence and purpose in her clients. Visit her website here: http://lisa-dion.com/

Why You Need To Earn Love Every Day – SC 39

Is love earned or given to you? In this podcast, I explore what happens when people say “Can’t you just love me as I am?” and then hope for a great relationship. And I also talk about the best practice to do every day if you want a thriving relationship that works, not just one you stumble through.

SHOWNOTES

Why being annoyed by your partner is normal. [5:13]
What does being “entitled” mean in a relationship? [6:53]
The fallacy of love [8:05]
Is a healthy relationship given to you? [9:32]
Why “you should just love me as I am” is a lie. [12:47]
The real reason you get triggered by your partner. [14:34]
One trick to learn to stop being triggered by your partner. [16:36]
A powerful question to ask your partner every day [18:56]

HELPFUL LINKS

[bctt tweet=”We learn and earn our way into a great relationship by valuing ourselves. – Jayson Gaddis”]

How Circling Can Deepen Your Relationships – Decker Cunov – SC 38

In this podcast, I interview Decker Cunov, a leader who has deeply impacted how I show up personally and professionally. For over 10 years, he’s been one of the pioneers in a fast-growing transformational practice known as “Circling.” As usual Decker packs a punch in his own funky style. Pay special attention to our dynamic near the end.

SHOWNOTES

Why does Decker care about relationships so much? [4:17]
What was it like growing up as a sensitive kid. [7:15]
What IS “circling”? [11:36]
How circling is and isn’t like meditation. [15:05]
Why does circling matter in relationships. [15:58]
A quick way to play “intersubjective tennis” with your partner. [31:34]
Decker breaks down the steps of circling. [23:35]
What’s it like to “feel another person” in circling. [29:32]
Some of the traps of circling. [33:15]
Decker starts circling Jayson [43:36]
Jayson’s big aha from circling [50:10]
What Decker’s son said that blew him away [52:33]
The one thing that Decker said that personally impacted Jayson [57:01]

HELPFUL LINKS

Sentence Stem To Practice With Your Partner
Partner A: “What I notice as I’m with you is…”
Partner B: “Hearing that, I’m noticing…”
(Repeat and alternate)

[bctt tweet=”Circling practice is not a replacement for meditation, but for a lot of people, it’s a great start. – Decker Cunov”]

PODCAST GUEST

Decker Cunov is President at Integral Center in Boulder, CO, a company committed to inspiring people towards more fulfilling relationships. He’s spent the last decade working successfully with everyone from soldiers to teenagers, from the clinically dysfunctional to doctors & lawyers, from a mechanic in Wisconsin to top level executives in Silicon Valley, helping them reach unprecedented levels of success in relationship in organic and profound ways. More info: The Integral Center

28 Years Strong Even After Affairs – Satyen and Suzanne – SC 37

In this podcast, I interview Satyen and Suzanne, both long-time students of David Deida. These two are super honest, loving individuals, and wow have they been through a lot! There share some very vulnerable details about how they navigated religion, affairs, and fighting. They give you concrete practical tools you can try right now with your partner. These guys live it!

SHOWNOTES

How did Satyen and Suzanne start caring about relationships? [3:07]
Why did Satyen resist marriage? [5:40]
What ingredient was the “it” factor for Suzanne’s attraction to Satyen? [6:24]
What role did religion play in their relationship? [9:22]
How did fighting about food bring them closer? [10:56]
What impact did David Deida have on their connection? [13:08]
How did they create a new template for their relationship? [14:46]
The most challenging period of their relationship [16:42]
One really important practice to heal from infidelity [19:54]
Satyen and Suzanne demonstrate a powerful tool to express emotional pain to your partner [22:28]
The often-missed key to understanding your partner [28:43]
What is PCP and ISE and how do they create connection and turn-on? [30:50]

HELPFUL LINKS

[bctt tweet=”Children love seeing their parents in love. – Satyen Raja”]

PODCAST GUESTS

Satyen and Suzanne are the authorities on relationship – passionately intwined for twenty-seven years and sought after by people over the the world for their powerful and cutting edge trainings. With over two decades of study, teaching and facilitation in this area, they have taught tens of thousands of singles and couples the art of creating passionate, juicy intimacy that lasts a lifetime.

A living demonstration of a couple who are continually re-igniting their spark, passion and love, Satyen and Suzanne practically distill what for many can be a confusing, frustrating and even painful topic down to its very workable, irresistible essence. Whether on radio, tv or in auditoriums of thousands, their style is provocative, inspiring, and above all, full of practical wisdom. They have a unique gift for hearing what lies beneath your questions, and giving you answers that convey deep truths with incredible heart. Never shy of controversy, they are willing to take conventional wisdom to task where it falls short in order to help you learn and live the most effective relationship skills.

Satyen and Suzanne are committed to, and superlatively skilled at, saying the things that no one else says, going places that no one else goes — so that you can have the hot, deep, loving, passionate relationship that you deserve…starting now!

http://acceleratedevolutionacademy.com

Is Polyamory For Me? – SC 36

In this one, we answer your question, is polyamory for me? In this eye-opening episode, I interview six people who practice some form of polyamory and open relationships. They share their raw and realistic perspectives on both the potential benefits and challenges of choosing polyamorous relationships. They also help explain the numerous terms that can be confusing for a polyamory beginner. And be sure to listen to the very end where I reveal a big aha on what monogamists can learn from polyamorists!

SHOWNOTES

What is the difference between poly, open and swinging? [10:25]
Why would anyone want to become polyamorous? [15:25]
What is the same fear that shows up in both polyamorous and monogamous relationships? [25:45]
What is a “second base party? [26:20]
Does a primary partner always have to feel like they’re in first place? [28:20]
How do you navigate polyamory and parenting? [29:16]
What is “veto power” in a polyamorous relationship? [30:35]
The pitfalls to avoid and keys to remember when starting out in polyamory? [32:34]
The difference between a “primary” and a secondary”? [38:20]
What is the personal growth opportunity in both polyamory and monogamy? [47:30]
Why compersion is necessary in polyamory [53:40]
What happens when you slow things down [58:40]
How a Q-TIP can help you [60:20]
Jayson’s big aha about polyamory [1:05:20]

HELPFUL LINKS

Jayson Gaddis
10 Agreements of An Indestructible Marriage

David and Sue:

www.connectdancelove.com

Philippe Lewis
Poly Boundary Card Game
Open Relationship Community Facebook Group
(Note: email [email protected] after asking to join the group.)
Exquisite Love

Laurie Ellington
Poly Coach

Mary Wolf
Contact: [email protected]

[bctt tweet=”We want to have other partners in our life that are harmonious with what we’ve already created. — Paget”]

PODCAST GUESTS

David Early and Sue Stuart have been partners for the eight years since they first met at Burning Man, and have been polyamorous throughout their relationship. David works part time as a consulting city planner and has two sons, ages 19 and 13. Sue is a registered nurse and teacher of contact improvisation, and has a 22 year old daughter. David and Sue organize a dance and sexuality event called “Connect. Dance. Love.” and are part of the San Francisco Bay Area’s polyamorous community. www.connectdancelove.com

Philippe Lewis and Paget. Phillipe is a Love Coach, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Trained Somatica Practitioner, and Epic Event Producer. For the last 18 years, he has been exploring love, relationships, intimacy, sensuality and sexuality with individuals and communities through teaching, writing, coaching and (sexy) events with the goal of growing men and women into better lovers and better humans. He is a father, a lover, a partner, a husband, a teacher, a producer, a writer, a social artist, a coach, a counselor, and much more. His love for life is as diverse as his love and sex life itself! More info: Exquisite Love

Laurie Ellington is an open relationship and polyamorous lifestyle coach – Poly Coach. She works with individuals and couples who are curious about, considering and/or actively involved in open relationships, polyamory, polyamorous dating, and anything in between. Laurie teaches her clients effective communication and authentic relating skills. She helps her clients break through negative patterns, step into what is true for them, and make choices that serve their highest integrity, with their self and with others. Laurie’s teaching is deeply rooted in a polyamorous lifestyle. Through this open way of living and loving, she has discovered her true freedom of expression in all of her relationships, most importantly with herself. Laurie has clients all over the world and lives in Austin, Texas. More info: Poly Coach

Mary Wolf is a visionary artisan of cultural healing and evolution, here to arouse souls to our wildest potential. She is known for her compassionate and intuitive teachings on relationships, sex and yes, parenting. Her own hunger and inner struggle for healing and awareness in her personal life has inspired those around her and has been the source of passion for the work she does. Her formal education includes a BA in Psychology/Art Therapy and a MA in Transpersonal Psychology from Naropa University. As a professional practitioner she has gained invaluable experience as a Registered/ Body Centered Psychotherapist, Parenting Educator and Coach, Relationship Educator, Sex therapist and former Owner/Editor of Loving More Magazine. She has studied, assisted, and been blessed with the presence and wisdom of many Masters around the world for over 20 years, including: Level 4 student of the Chuluaqui Quodoushka path of sacred sexuality, the Human Awareness Institute (HAI), Body Electric, and various traditions of Tantra. She is also an author, workshop facilitator, fine artist, ceremonialist, and public speaker who has been featured in TIME magazine and appeared on national and international TV and radio shows. Contact: [email protected]