People don’t trust you when you are misaligned. You say you’re “fine” but really you feel angry. Or you say “I love you” but your body language is saying something different. This causes people to pull back from you.
The more congruent someone is the more trustworthy they are.
We get really pissed when our partner is out of alignment. In fact, we even resent them over time. But that is often a reflection of our own misalignment.
In This episode you will learn:
Dealing with the ‘I’m Fine’ moment – Unlearning incongruency [1:33]
Alignment in your marriage and work [6:00]
Being ‘on the path’ to alignment [9:10]
Tool: Sharing the Impact of non-alignment [10:07]
ACTION STEP: If you have a close friend or your spouse who is misaligned, take a risk and share impact. I cover “how” in this episode. Wouldn’t you want someone to let you know if you were bullshitting yourself?
To see your partner as a sacred mirror and sanctuary for the growing your greatest actualized self
The true characteristics of a long-term partnership
How your partnership is the optimal container for complete transformation of yourself into the highest possible version imaginable
How to fall in love and why this is more important than being married
How to take radical responsibility for being loved in every moment of your life
How to actually get your needs/wants met in a partnership
How to know if conflict in your relationship is driving you toward or away from more magnificence
There’s a ton in this episode so dive in and go slow. You will also want to check out Annie’s blog post “Should I stay or Should I Go?” And, Here’s a great question from Annie to ask yourself if you are trying to decide to stay or leave:
Is the person I’m being called to become by what my partner’s asking me to become (if you take on the growth-development framework), will you become a more extraordinary version of yourself? If who they are asking you to become is a constricted, small, tight version of you, then this is probably not the person you want to be with.
However, if you identify as the smaller version of you, then, you are going to hear your partner’s feedback as criticism and blame and might make them wrong in the process. So, pay attention to these finer points. Here are two tweetable quotes from Annie. Just cut and paste on FB or Twitter.
[bctt tweet=”Falling in love is not safe to your status quo self. – Annie Lalla”]
[bctt tweet=”Relationship is designed to emancipate your from the smallest version of yourself. – Annie Lalla”]
About Annie:Annie Lalla has spent her life studying the labyrinthine world of emotions–mapping the complexities of communication & subtleties of relationships. A philosopher, speaker and a thought leader, Annie is known as the “Cartographer of Love”. With an Honors Science Degree, major in Human Biology & Philosophy (minor in Buddhism), her studies include integrative psychology, evolutionary science, neurochemistry, therapeutic sexuality & systems dynamics. Alongside explorations in mystic poetry, classic literature & metaphoric narrative are professional certifications in NLP, Coaching & Hypnosis. All these realms converge in her unique Relationship Coaching practice. There, she helps individuals attract, create and foster extraordinary connections that maximize freedom and minimize shame.Specializing in love, sex & conflict resolution, Annie teaches her signature method: ‘The Art of Fighting’. She sees conflict as a crucial part of intimacy development. ”Arguments are opportunities to understand your partner better, when handled with maturity & skill they can be used to bring you closer instead of farther apart.”www.annielalla.com
I had a lot of fun with this one. These two “get” long term relationship and what’s required to go the distance. They also know a great deal about shame, blame, and how to get over it by going to the next stage in your relationship. Robert also supports the power of men facing their own BS and his new book “To Be A Man” is going to be worth the read for the men out there.
Note, our call got “dropped” by skype at one point so you’ll notice the sound quality change a bit. Just a heads up.
For more information, visit and CONNECT with Diane and Robert:
Robert Augustus Masters is a relationship expert, psychotherapist and trainer of therapists, with a doctorate in psychology. He is also the author of 14 books, including “Transformation through Intimacy” and “To Be a Man.”
Diane Bardwell Masters is an intuitive healer, relationship expert, and longtime professional singer. She works side-by-side and in very close conjunction with Robert in all the work they do.
