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4 Non-Negotiable Needs Required For a Secure Partnership – 272

By Jayson
January 29, 2020

Do you have needs? Do you own them? Or do you know you have needs, but then you get scared to ask for them to be met because you’re afraid the other person will leave? Understandable. Most people are used to sequestering their needs in exchange for scraps of connection. Please don’t do this.
I’ve done a lot of work with my own needs to determine that I do in fact have them in an adult partnership, and that i’m unwilling to not have them met. I’m also willing to offer these needs to my wife forever. Most people pretend they don’t have needs in a partnership because being “needy” is bad in this culture.
But I’m here to let you know you have 4 needs that are not negotiable if you want to really go for it and create a secure partnership over time.
What are they?
1. Feeling safe
2. Feeling seen
3. Feeling soothed
4. Feeling supported/challenged
Think I’m crazy? Just listen as I unpack each one and I think you’ll get the idea. Enjoy this short podcast episode and share with a friend who thinks they don’t have needs! lol.


Here are a few of the highlights:

  • (2:35) The 4 needs for security in a long-term relationship
  • (4:20) How to recognize an insecure relationship
  • (7:30) Feeling Safe
  • (8:15) Feeling Seen
  • (9:15) Feeling Soothed
  • (10:20) Felling supported and challenged


Useful Links:



  1. Dating Post Divorce | The Relationship School Blog - […] out of that! When something feels out of integrity with your needs, step back, and re-calibrate. This episode of…
  2. What Is the Definition of Secure Attachment? - The Relationship School® - […] In every adult relationship, each partner has needs that they hope to have met in order to create a…

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