Unsure why certain interactions with loved ones get you so upset? Ever struggle to relate to the hardship of others?
Psychotherapist Sharon Stanley says the issue could be trauma, trauma you may not even be aware you have. Once we assess our own trauma we can begin exercising our senses and become more compassionate to others.
According to Sharon, we owe it to ourselves and to each other to consider the pain in our pasts, only then can we embody true empathy!
Here are a few of the highlights:
SHOWNOTES
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Who is Sharon Stanley? [6:00]
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The best ways to connect with a traumatized person [11:00]
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Interacting with a partner with trauma [16:00]
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Building strength within the body to address trauma [20:00]
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Are you dealing with trauma? [25:00]
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The cost of ignoring trauma [26:00]
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Is neglect the worst type of trauma? [30:00]
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The importance of being embodied [35:00]
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HELPFUL LINKS
GUEST BIO
Dr. Sharon Stanley is a psychotherapist, educator and writer living on Bainbridge Island, Washington. As a long time student of Dr. Allan Schore, Sharon has integrated a number of somatic practices for healing trauma into an elegant, cohesive, relational and phenomenological model of psychotherapy, Somatic Transformation. At the core of Somatic Transformation is the practice of feeling into another’s inner world; a bodily based attunement, connectivity and inquiry that animates the intersubjective field and
guides the use of somatic interventions and reflection. Grounded in relational research on trauma, guided by the Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges, inspired by the soul work of Donald Kalsched, Sharon has taught this model to hundreds of practitioners over the past 20 years. She continues to explore somatic ways of knowing, relating and psychological processing from a phenomenological perspective through the lenses of her own clinical practice, neuroscience and nature-based practices. In addition to her in-depth courses for practicing psychotherapists, Sharon has worked extensively with First Nations people in Canada, studied Afro-Brazilian practices of healing the residue of the trauma of slavery in Brazil and is currently on the faculty for Antioch University in Seattle. In 2016, Routledge published her book: Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past. (2016) Routledge.
How do you support (bring up to) a partner that they show all the signs of trauma without getting the “in the moment cant regulate” reaction????
hey – perhaps invite them to listen to the episode so that they may have the opportunity to self-identify? Otherwise if you want to directly communicate, I’d suggest using a lot of “I” language, make it about you, your thoughts, your identifications, your concerns, and go easy, sit closely with them, make eye contact, hold their hand if that is welcome. breathe yourself and stay regulated yourself, if you go in anxious they will pick up on that. Hope this helps =) And keep listening to the podcast for much more in depth tips on relational and communication skillbuilding. Hope this helps.
Thank you for this episode. Question. When asking close friends for feedback on “How embodied am I?” Can you please describe or clarify what embodied means to you? So that if they ask I can help them understand the question. Thanks!