This week, I bring onto the podcast a long-time friend and relationship wizard Joshua Levin, to help me outline a potent relationship tool: sharing impact. Like many relationship tools, sharing impact is a simple, yet difficult tool to use in relationship. WTF is sharing impact and how can it help you dramatically decrease drama in your relationship? Find out by listening in. This is the first episode in a series on “relationship tools.” This is a new format I’m trying out, so make sure to leave your comments and feedback below. Does this serve you? Do you want more episodes like this? Let me know!
SHOWNOTES:
- Why does Joshua care about relationships? [5:40]
- Why do we need a tool like “sharing impact” in a long-term partnership? [9:00]
- What is “sharing impact”? [11:10]
- By contrast, what do many people do instead of sharing impact? [15:15]
- Josh shares a personal example of sharing impact [21:05]
- Jayson and Joshua trade impact back and forth [25:00]
- What happens after we share impact? [28:00]
- Josh encourages us to start with ______ [30:00]
- The difference between expression and communication [35:00]
[bctt tweet=”If I let someone know how they are impacting me, it can be a beautiful, rare gift. – Josh Levin“]
HELPFUL LINKS:
ABOUT:
Joshua Levin is a life-coach and psychotherapist who guides individuals and couples to greater connection, intimacy, freedom, and power.
He leads workshops and trainings in communication, conscious relationship, and Circling with his partner, Jess Nichol. He is also a Senior Course Leader at the Integral Center in Boulder, CO. You can say hello and learn more about him and his work via email at [email protected] and on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/joshualev .
Thanks, Jayson! As usual, some great points made in a short amount of time. Helpful to hear you both discuss how you’re impacting each other in the present moment, and something to put to use immediately – love that- in all relationships. Awesome!
how to express impact with people who don’t take it well?
Yes! That would be my question, too. What if I tell my partner that when he yells at me and get’s all big and threatening, I feel unsafe with my feelings, and he just doesn’t see any need to work on that, but thinks I should grow a bigger skin or that I am just being super sensitive because of my past or whatever (thus ironically kind of proving that I am right not to feel safe with my feelings ;))
Do I walk out, then?
Hi Sheri, we have a number of episodes that could support you, i suggest having a look and flagging some. In particular, these may be useful: https://relationshipschool.com/should-i-stay-or-should-i-go/ & https://relationshipschool.com/podcast/if-your-partner-made-you-listen-to-this-podcast-sc-135/. Hope this helps and take care, thanks for listening
I think perhaps “Communication Secrets” might be a helpful masterclass for you to take and learn about communicating with different folks and ways of getting through to guarded/defended individuals: https://relationshipschool.com/communicationsecrets/. I’m sure there are also loads of episodes on the podcast that speak to communication and avoidant-personality structures. Hope this helps and thanks for listening =)
The connection between Jayson and Joshua was strong and I loved hearing them discuss sharing impact. I’d love to hear more of the two of you discussing relationship topics as well. Although I’m happy to listen to this one several more times over as there was so much in it for me. Thanks.
Nice, will keep this in mind for future guest episodes. Thanks Nicola =)
This is an awesome podcast. Thanks for sharing this great exchange of info with us Jayson. Hearing this podcast, I feel more spacious and relaxed in my body. I also feel more hopeful and because of that I’m encouraged to continue pursuing developing new relation tools and skills in my life.
I’m so inspired reading this, thanks for sharing Kenneth =)