AMA – Unresolved Conflicts, Sexual Desire Differences, Challenging Friends – Jayson & Ellen – 426

Shavani asks, “Most times conflicts drain us of mental energy and time, even with both partners’ willingness to work through it. For me, conflict often takes hours of constant talking, fighting, and finally resolving. This is especially tough when work is involved that requires preparation and clarity. How do we work through conflict in a way that doesn’t impact other parts of our lives that are important for our personal growth and well-being?” 

Kim wonders, “Have you ever covered sexual frequency in a marriage? He wants it WAY more because that’s how he thinks of connection, and I don’t want it nearly enough because he won’t open up, let me in, and connect on a deeper emotional level, so there is a constant struggle.” 

Lilian is curious: “I have a dear friend that means well but always plays devil’s advocate when I come to her with a painful experience or when I need support. She says it’s because she’s a Libra. Where’s the line of calling your friend out on their B.S., and holding space for them with empathy in moments when they are experiencing pain?”

Join Ellen and Jayson as they unpack listener questions regarding unresolved conflicts, sexual desire differences, and challenging friendships.

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Dependent, Independent, and Interdependent – Part 2 – Jayson & Ellen – 425

“Any advice to get over a fear of dependency?” Amy wants to know.

“Is it possible for one partner to be dependent, and the other to be independent? Does that change over time? What can I do when I get triggered by his independence?” asks @twopopcorn.

“Therapists always say, ‘You’re responsible for meeting your own needs’…How do you allow yourself to depend on someone and also not expect someone to give you what you need?” Jean is curious about. 

Join Jayson and Ellen for this follow-up AMA episode (inspired by Episode 423: Dependent, Independent, Interdependent) where they answer listener questions on dependency. 

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Traditional Gender Roles and Shared Leadership in Partnership and Parenting – Jayson and Ellen – 424

Want some help understanding what the opposite sex thinks and feels about being partners, parents, cohabitating, careers, etc.?

Care to learn how to structure leadership equitably with your partner?

Can you identify with stereotypical gender roles—specifically with couples who are also parents?

Curious to learn why some men resist or devalue hands-on parenting?

Join Jayson and Ellen as they unpack how gender roles play into your most intimate relationship, how they relate to our cultural landscape, and how to structure leadership/relate to each other as partners and co-parents.

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Dependent, Independent, Interdependent – Part 1 – Jayson and Ellen – 423

When you hear the word “dependency,” what does it conjure up for you? Feelings of resistance? Discomfort? Maybe a squirmy feeling? Or something more positive? Does it feel good for you to be needed?

When we first emerge into the world as infants, we are 100% dependent on our caregiver(s) for all our physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, and relational needs. Our parents have been responsible for every one of our needs, day in and day out, for years. It is a biological imperative to attach to our caregiver (attachment figure), and it’s completely instinctual—it’s how a baby survives. Being someone’s attachment figure is incredibly demanding.

Attachment science empirically speaks to the similarity between how a child attaches to a parent and how an adult attaches to their spouse, meaning our attachment figure changes from our parent to our significant other. However, your partner is not your caregiver… Contingent on your attachment style (anxious, avoidant, secure), it can become triggering to depend on or depend on someone else.

Join Jayson and Ellen to better understand healthy and unhealthy dependency, normalize it, and even use our needs and dependence to deepen connection.

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How to Create Family Values Together – Chris and Melissa Smith – 422

What lessons can families learn from businesses? Have you ever thought of formalizing your values as a family and creating a vision statement?

Ellen and I had the privilege to chat with Chris and Melissa Smith, founders of Family Brand, and loving parents to five kids. We discuss what it’s like to have (and come from) an unusually large family, their near-divorce experience, and how they are now happier and stronger than ever before. They talk about why they founded Family Brand, and highlight the importance of working on oneself first and, and being very intentional with your commitment to your partner and parenting to co-create a brand unique to your family unit and why/how that’s helpful.

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The #1 Reason Your Partner Won’t Do The Work – Jayson Gaddis – 421

Do you find yourself in a relationship with someone who isn’t meeting you halfway?

Are you curious to learn why your partner refuses to do their part of the work in the relationship?

According to behavioral psychology, human beings are hedonistic. We prefer pleasure over pain, good over evil, comfortable over uncomfortable—even though  it is through discomfort that we grow. If you listen to the podcast, I consider you a growth/developmental-oriented person. If a non-growth/developmental-oriented person stays in a relationship with you long enough, they inevitably will bump up against discomfort and will do one of three things: run, check out, or sabotage.

Tune in to this short episode to learn more about avoidance tactics, the number one reason your partner resists change, and the role shame plays in this dynamic.

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