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How Circling Can Deepen Your Relationships – Decker Cunov – SC 38

By Jayson
March 2, 2016

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In this podcast, I interview Decker Cunov, a leader who has deeply impacted how I show up personally and professionally. For over 10 years, he’s been one of the pioneers in a fast-growing transformational practice known as “Circling.” As usual Decker packs a punch in his own funky style. Pay special attention to our dynamic near the end.

decker cunov


  • Why does Decker care about relationships so much? [4:17]
  • What was it like growing up as a sensitive kid. [7:15]
  • What IS “circling”? [11:36]
  • How circling is and isn’t like meditation. [15:05]
  • Why does circling matter in relationships. [15:58]
  • A quick way to play “intersubjective tennis” with your partner. [31:34]
  • Decker breaks down the steps of circling. [23:35]
  • What’s it like to “feel another person” in circling. [29:32]
  • Some of the traps of circling. [33:15]
  • Decker starts circling Jayson [43:36]
  • Jayson’s big aha from circling [50:10]
  • What Decker’s son said that blew him away [52:33]
  • The one thing that Decker said that personally impacted Jayson [57:01]



Sentence Stem To Practice With Your Partner
Partner A: “What I notice as I’m with you is…”

Partner B: “Hearing that, I’m noticing…”
(Repeat and alternate)

[bctt tweet=”Circling practice is not a replacement for meditation, but for a lot of people, it’s a great start. – Decker Cunov”]


Decker Cunov is President at Integral Center in Boulder, CO, a company committed to inspiring people towards more fulfilling relationships. He’s spent the last decade working successfully with everyone from soldiers to teenagers, from the clinically dysfunctional to doctors & lawyers, from a mechanic in Wisconsin to top level executives in Silicon Valley, helping them reach unprecedented levels of success in relationship in organic and profound ways. More info: The Integral Center




  1. Theda

    I LOVE THIS! Circling really resonates with me, and I think I do it naturally to some degree, but want to learn more and practice it at deeper levels. Thank you, Jayson and Decker, for this intro to the “art.” (Also, I found myself in joyous agreement when Decker pointed out Jayson’s facile ability to keeping his finger on the pulse of the audience while he is conducting an interview. I, too, have noticed this quality in Jayson…and I appreciate that Decker uncovered some “layers” to reveal Jayson’s concern that the audience is getting the most value from what he offers: that a person will feel “lit up” and want to share the tools and knowledge immediately with their partner. I really get that Jayson cares about others and wants to help them succeed in their relationships.)



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