My Human Design Session – Erin Claire Jones – 342

How to Boost Your Self-Awareness with Human Design

Let me ask you a question. Do you really know who you are?
Being self-aware is super important because it allows you to unfold your full potential, make the right decisions, and master life with ease.
This week, Erin Claire Jones and I talk about a tool that can boost your self-awareness and lead to a more conscious, rewarding, and fulfilling life. This tool is called human design.

What is human design and how can it help you on your journey?

Human Design helps you recognize your unique gifts and traits, so you can make the most out of them and be in alignment with your true self.
According to it, we’re defined by our type (how we use our energy) and our inner authority (how we make decisions). And combined with your exact time, date, and place of birth, you’ll get your own, unique chart that equips you with concrete tips according to your type.
Does it sound weird to you? If so, you’ll be actually surprised at how accurate and transformative it can be. By knowing how you operate, you learn to use your energy wisely and build on your strengths instead of ignoring, or even denying them.
Let’s dig deeper into the different types. Do you recognize yourself in one of these?

The five types of human design and what makes them unique.

Generators:

Generators respond, as opposed to initiating. They find it easier to wait for clues and signals instead of leaping into action. When they initiate from a mental place, they may feel frustrated in their life and work.

Projectors:

Projectors wait for recognition and invitation. When feeling invited, they guide others with their immense wisdom. But when focusing on the wrong people, they become exhausted and resentful. If they manage to use their energy wisely, however, they’ll experience success in their life and relationships.

Reflectors:

Reflectors have a resilient aura that samples and reflects other auras around them like a mirror. It’s also important for them to separate everyone else’s aura from their own. Before making big decisions, they need more time to think than other types.

Manifestors:

As opposed to Generators who tend to respond, Manifestors are born initiators. Their strategy is to inform others before acting to get their support. Otherwise, they may feel angry because of the resistance they experience.

Manifesting Generators:

As the name tells, they’re a mix between Manifestors and Generators. They inform before acting but also wait to respond.

If you’re not sure which one you are or want to learn more about your type, check this out:
https://erinclairejones.com/lookup

Knowing your type can be a relieving experience. Instead of trying to be someone else, you learn to accept yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses.
As you can see, human design can boost your self-awareness, acceptance, and esteem all at once.

But what does all of this have to do with relationships?

By being self-aware, you learn to communicate better with your partner and prevent heated avoidable conflicts.
And if you’re aware of each other’s uniqueness, you’ll both feel more empathy and act as a great team.
Don’t get me wrong though. While human design can give you great insight into yourself, it also has its limitations and can’t resolve any traumas or make your life a cakewalk. But still, it’s an interesting tool I wanted to share with you.
If you’re curious to find out more about human design and what Erin has to say, listen here:

Boundaries & Other Tips For Brand New Parents – Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. – 341

Is your kid calling the shots in your home with their emotions?

Want to parent more effectively? 

In today’s episode, I talk with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson on how to take back the power in your relationship with your child by setting boundaries. Dr. Bryson explains resilience comes from not bailing your child out when things aren’t going their way. It’s better to go through that difficult moment with them. 

What’s our typical method of parenting?…

Typically when our child acts up we’re inclined to raise our voice or make threats – however, Dr. Bryson cautions us away from that. This can feel counterintuitive in your parenting experience at first, but that’s the purpose. You’re in the relationship school to learn new and better methods to handle your relationships. You have to start by exchanging your old methods for new ones. This is a part of doing the work – stay focused.

Here’s an example Dr. Bryson gave me in today’s episode…

She allowed her older son to stay up later because he had friends over, however her other son had to go to bed because he’s not allowed to be up late. This didn’t sit well with her younger child so naturally, he threw a tantrum. This can be a make-or-break moment for parents. Dr. Bryson reminds us, “At your kids’ worst, they need you the most.”

Once the child tries to counter our boundary (in this case it’s bedtime) we have to stand our ground! This is where most parents start to combat the child with threats or by raising their voice. Bryson is a proponent of utilizing empathy to show your child you understand their experience. The boundaries are still there but now you allow your child to deal and accept their experience and overcome their emotional tantrum rather than going back on your word, negotiating, or losing your cool.

“I know you’re angry right now, and that’s ok. I’m going to be right here with you the whole time,” a simple sentence like this can make a massive difference in the conversion. This method empowers both the parent and the child. It’s far better to view situations like this as an opportunity for your child to do an emotional workout. View it as one rep – eventually, as they grow, reps become easier and easier. 

Due to this method, when your child grows up they will be able to manage their emotions and be resilient rather than not knowing how to deal with their experience. This is just one out of the many amazing lessons Dr. Bryson shared with us. If you’d like to grow as a parent (that includes single parents or those considering parenthood) then take a listen to today’s podcast.

Shownotes:

2 Steps To Overcome Impostor Syndrome – Jayson Gaddis – 340

Have you ever found yourself putting on a mask to fit in? Were you afraid others might notice and call you out?

If so, you‘ve experienced Impostor Syndrome – the fear of being exposed as someone you‘re not, just like an impostor.

In this week‘s episode, you‘ll learn why we experience it, what it means for your relationships and how you can start overcoming it today with the Two-Step Action Plan.

If you‘ve suffered from Impostor Syndrome (or still do), this is life-changing for you. Take a listen here:

Overcome Codependency with Healthy Boundaries – Terri Cole – 339

How do you set healthy boundaries in a relationship?
If you’ve struggled with boundaries in the past (or still do), this episode is for you.
Terri Cole and I talk about the danger of codependency and how you can overcome it by being a “boundary boss”.
They are essential to draw a clear line between what’s ok for you and what’s not. They’re a shield to protect your energy, self-esteem, and well-being.
Without them, you’ll sooner or later feel exhausted, hurt, or even resentful towards your partner (which means a break-up for 95% of relationships).
What is codependency?
A codependent relationship is when one partner is dependent on the other (who also needs to be needed). The codependent’s self-esteem only comes from pleasing their partner, the enabler. Without doing that, they’ll feel unhappy and worthless.
Here’s a list with symptoms. Do you recognize yourself or someone else?
– keeping the relationship alive even though the partner is hurtful
– doing anything to please the enabler (no matter the costs & consequences)
– always feeling anxious because they might not be happy
– not expressing one’s own needs & thoughts because they’re seen as less important
As you may guess, this type of relationship is unhealthy and one-sided. How do they develop?
Codependency is a behavior we learn during emotionally difficult situations in childhood. These can be:
– unhealthy child-parent relationship
– abusive family or relationships
– living with mentally or physically ill family members

As the child experiences these situations, it learns that its own needs are less important because it should care for others instead.
Does that mean codependency is permanent? No, it doesn’t.
As it’s a learned behavior, you’re also able to unlearn it. Terri and I talk about two ways to do so: Boundaries and Mindfulness
You need boundaries in your personal life, as well as in your relationship. They range from emotional ones like what others can say and expect from you to physical ones like who is allowed in your personal space.
In her new book „Boundary Boss“, Terri shows how to set healthy boundaries in a relationship without feeling guilty or shameful. And in today’s episode, she shares useful techniques as well as her own experience as a recovering codependent person.
Among other things, she reveals her method to avoid giving an „instant yes“ when confronted with an urgent matter. If this is something you could use, this episode is gold for you.
Low self-esteem is one of the main factors leading to codependency. Because you’re not able to accept yourself, you have to depend on your partner’s love to do so.
Practicing mindfulness helps you to overcome this and cherish yourself as you are. You’ll learn to love yourself and thus won’t depend on romantic partners anymore for their love.
Deeply knowing yourself is a great way to start the healing process.
Become aware of how your past childhood experiences may still affect you today. But instead of feeling angry, sad, or resentful, be compassionate with yourself.
You’ll prove yourself you’re worthy and your needs are worthy to be met. Your inner child will heal.
Terri shares plenty of useful tips on how you can work on your mindfulness to become a happier person. Not only in your relationship, but in general.
If you want to find out Terri’s tips and how to become a boundary boss yourself, listen here:

How to Own Your Space with Healthy Aggression – Kimberly Ann Johnson – 338

Have you ever wanted to say something, but decided not to say it because you were afraid to?

If that’s something you’ve struggled with, you’ll want to listen to this week’s podcast where I talk with Kimberly Ann Johnson on how to own our own space as people and learn to communicate better by breaking gender barriers. 

We talk about understanding our natural selves by discussing how our physiology affects our connections and reactions to things in relationships especially with things that cause conflict.  

Here’s a simple truth, we are all animals with nervous systems that are conditioned in certain ways. Understanding that gives us power and space.  

It’s important to understand that there’s a whole range of influence that comes from outside of domestication, it comes from our primal, natural selves. We are animals and we need to own that to really own our space and get inside of ourselves. 

In my podcast this week, you’ll find that Kimberly sheds a lot of light on topics that are traditionally very difficult to traverse. For example, most of us are so thoroughly domesticated by our sense of culture and civilization at this point, we have become very disconnected from our natural selves as animals.

To own your space, you have to understand it which means you have to get inside yourself. Try this simple exercise, it’ll help teach you more than Kimberly’s  perspective and also about yourself as well. 

Imagine a wolf, and a rabbit and think about which one you identify with. The wolf chases the rabbit and is very aggressive and predatory while the rabbit displays freeze or flight responses. The rabbit either runs from the wolf or freezes. When you think about it, you can see that the different behaviors of these animals relate to our own behaviors in relationships. 

While men are typically characterized as wolves while women associate with rabbits in that they are more likely to back down in an argument at their own expense. Kimberly Ann Johnson and her book, “How We Heal Trauma Awaken Our Own Powers And Use It For Good Call of the Wild ” helps women take ownership of their space and embrace a new type of animal, the jaguar in order to harness their inner strength.    

So what does all of this mean in terms of relationships? For one thing, women feel pressured to always be placating and are often afraid to stand up in an argument. During my podcast, Kimberly shared her belief that men react harshly to women when they have pensive faces, ambition, or stand up for themselves in an argument. 

In spite of this sentiment, she urges women to embrace ambition, to speak their mind, and stand their ground, in other words, to be a jaguar rather than a rabbit. 

Another major truth that you’ll learn from my podcast with Kimberly is that it’s not about competition, it’s about connection. Men and women alike need to learn the importance of maintaining a connection even when you’re in disagreement.

As a result, many women struggle to harness their power and say the things they need to say during a conflict because of these pressures and conventions. Kimberly urges women to embrace their inner jaguar and learn how to stand their ground, get their point across.

If this sounds like something you would like to learn more about, check out this week’s podcast! 

One Path To More Meaning In Your Life – Jayson Gaddis – 337

Have you found yourself feeling completely disconnected from meaning in your life? 

Everyone should have a sense of purpose and meaning in their life. That said, there are hundreds of thousands of people out there that still haven’t found meaning in their life. I’m here to change that.

If you haven’t found any significant meaning in your life or sense of purpose, this podcast is for you. I’ll show you how to create genuine, authentic meaning in your life and find a sense of purpose that will ultimately guide you to a happier, more fulfilling life.  

I’ve found that the single biggest source of meaning in anyone’s life comes from their relationships with other people. This includes professional relationships, romantic relationships, and friendships.  

The first thing I want you to do to start your journey towards a meaningful life is to take a look in the mirror, both physically and figuratively. Now ask yourself what you’re bringing into the relationships that you have. 

What conflicts are you involved in with other people? What insecurities do you have? What do you ultimately want out of life? Once you’ve answered those questions for yourself, I want you to ask yourself how many of those conflicts, insecurities, goals, and desires you’re bringing into the relationships that you have. More specifically, how are those things affecting your relationships? 

If you’ve just been coasting through your experiences and bringing all of that baggage into your relationships it’s time to take a step back and find the meaning in those things. One thing that I really want you to understand is that you can and should find meaning in conflict and suffering.

People that just rip through conflict after conflict without ever taking the time to find the meaning behind those conflicts will invite more conflict throughout their lives. Likewise, people that don’t find meaning in their suffering will suffer harder. 

For example, if you lost your job and then picked yourself back up and found a new job that you genuinely enjoy more than your old job, there’s meaning there! Every failure whether it’s in a relationship or another aspect of your life is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and the world you live in. 

Many people suffer from depression when doing lots of things while disconnected. In other words, financial success and accomplishment won’t bring you true happiness unless there’s genuine meaning attached to those accomplishments.  

Meaning makes people inspiring, it makes them more interesting, and it makes life more rewarding. When you start looking for meaning and purpose in your life, look beyond conflict and suffering. There’s a lot to learn from those things to be sure, but your ultimate purpose should come from outside of that. 

Your sense of purpose should come from whatever means the most to you in your life. This sense of purpose can come from your children, your spouse, your partner, your colleagues, or your friends. The commonality here is that for most people, their ultimate sense of purpose derives from their relationships.  

The fact that most of us need to have other people around us is no accident. Meaning is compounded by sharing with people we care about. 

If you’re ready to learn more about creating meaning in your life, check out my podcast and take a listen: