In front of you, you now have a new class of the Relationship School! This time we will as usual come to you in digital form to share a few thoughts on a particularly intriguing human relationship. Keep reading below!
Your fellow humans as your development mirror!
There is an ancient wisdom from the American Indians who say that when you are sitting in a circle with other people you should note what annoys you with the person opposite you. This same thing that annoys you is something that you need to work on yourself.
It is often that we can't see in ourselves what we need to develop to grow as people and get healthier, funnier and more intimate relationships. Instead we take others to help by seeing it in them first. It seems safer to put it on other people than with myself.
An example on this can be if I get angry or frustrated in situations where I don't know what to say. If I am in a situation with a group of people where the others are silent I might be thinking "Ugh, they must be angry sitting there so quiet" Here I don't take responsibility for my own anger and if someone in the group at later moment would be angry for a different reason I would still think "See, I was right."
A lot of rights and wrongs in discussions in intimate relationships derive from us being poor listeners because we project different things on the other; we think things about the other that isn't true. Instead it is often things in ourselves that we haven't worked through and that keeps coming up as a reminder until we have learnt what we need to learn.
The recipe to benefit from this phenomenon is to increase the self-awareness by being aware of the reactions you get from other peoples behaviors and learn to look inwards instead of blaming other people for my possible hard feelings.
Article: Other people as a screen for your own story!
What we are talking about above is in a fancy word called projections. In this class's article you can follow a more deep discussion on this topic, seen from the perspective that we use others as a screen for our inner dramas. The article can be found on the link below. If you cannot click on the link, you can also copy and paste it into your favorite browser.
As always, you can also download the text so that you can print it or read it in the comfort of your own computer.
'Don't take anything personal. Nothing that other people does is because of you. What other people say or do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to other people's opinion and acts you do no longer need to be a victim for an un-necessary suffering.'
(Don Miguel Ruiz)
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The Relationship School is sent to you periodically or viewed at our site RelationshipSchool.com. Editor-in-chief is Markus Amanto - markus (a) relationshipshool.com. RelationshipSchool, c / o Altaleda AB, Box 1008 , SE-18625 Vallentuna, Sweden. Copyright: Markus Amanto.