Everything you do satisfies at least two of the first four needs. If it satisfies three, then it will become a habit. If we take smoking as an example, how can smoking satisfy these needs?

Well, when you smoke you take deep breaths. When you take deep slow breaths you change the condition and state of the body even without the smoke in the lungs. And the nicotine can you also change your state (uncertainty/variety).

You are seemingly calmer when you (certainty/security). Often when people smoke, they do so in groups and we know people who smoke because it is the only social moments of the day (connection/relationship).

Many people start smoking when they are teenagers and then you feel a bit unique and special when you smoke (significance). Adults can distinguish themselves by smoking exclusive cigars.

Since we are often looking for quick enjoyment rather than to avoid the possible pain later on in the form of lung cancer, we continue to smoke. And we do it until we see gain in quitting, either by avoiding a massive cost or by getting some other pleasure if we stop. For example, you found a partner who refuses to stay up with you if you smoke.

We humans tend to focus on how we can get the minimal amount of pain in life and a maximum pleasure in life. As noted above, we frequently look for immediate enjoyment, the younger we are, the faster we want to get away from the pain and get pleasure instead.

Children want food NOW, they want to be there NOW and not to travel by car for an hour to get to their friends to play with.

Often, it is not until you are in a crises, accident or illness that you stop and question your behavior and begin to think about what is really important in the long run.

We can also make a change by starting to focus on and satisfy the last two needs that have not yet written that much about. So let's move on.

Need number five and number six

The last two needs are thus:

  • Growth
  • Contribution


The fifth need is the need for personal development, to grow as a person, to know that I am much more than what I previously thought, and that I raise my standards in different areas of my life.

Maybe I grow so I can now see my bad habits as being below how I now value myself, for example to look at TV-programs that do not stimulate me. I will focus on learning new things that make me grow and see things from a new perspective.

Jim Rohn said, "do not wish that life was easier, wish that you were better."

How do you do to grow as a person? Get to know yourself deeply and realize that you will learn new things throughout life, and you can get better at what you want, for life! Learn to communicate with yourself even better.

Learn how you can have abundance and richness in all areas of your life including finances, love, friendship, health and more. When it feels scary to do something you want to do, do it anyway and just let the fear be there.


The sixth need is to contribute to a larger context. To really be able to contribute to a better world, a better country, a better society, you need to grow as a person.

If you are going to have the energy and time to tackle the big issues and challenges you can not spend energy and time to solve small problems. Such as how to get ends to meet in your finances this month, who will wash up, who will pick up the kids or unnecessary misunderstandings that take time or energy.

You contribute through how you are and what you do, like Nelson Mandela by making sure his time in prison was a time where he was preparing to lead his country and bring peace. He chose to grow as a person in jail instead of letting it destroy him. We can also choose to have what happens to us, make us grow as human beings so that we can help others even more.

The best for last

Do you know what the best part is?!

If you focus on growing as a person and helping others, then you will satisfy you all six needs at the same time! If you just focus on for example security and connection, then you will not grow, nor contribute to society and the world to the same extent.

Oriental man and woman together

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