Make it easy as a breeze to achieve your values. It is good to have tough, challenging goals in life that make you strive and become a better human, but do not place your values in the same category. Let your values be an aid in life that gives you energy and joy.
Once you've completed your values and made them active, maybe thrown out some old ones that no longer serve you. Once you have changed the order of priority of the ones you want to keep and maybe added a few new values that better will help you live the life you want to live.
A new set of rules
Then it's time to create a new regulatory framework. Instead of four things that must happen in order for you to experience health, make it a menu of options. Several more easily attainable options for experienceing health. For example, when you drink a healthy juice, then you feel health.
Imagine what a difference if health was your most important value in life, and instead of a week full of activities you just needed to drink a glass of juice to feel like you live your life as you most deeply want to live it.
To question your values
How firmly we hold on to our values, is determined to some extent by what they cost us in relation to others. Do we dare to stand for our views on such occassions when it comes to being accepted or not by work colleagues or friends around us?
A lot of times we are not open to the experientially examining our values, which means that we hold on to them very tightly. If anyone questions them, we tend to feel threatened and stick to them even more.
Since we do not actively test and evaluate our values, they will often stand in contradiction to each other. This means that we may encounter conscience conflicts with ourselves or our surroundings, which may prevent us from achieving the life we desire.
Filippa: My first three values were previously:
- Believing in other people - both in that they knew better and belief that each person can grow
- Honesty - and particularly towards others, not as much towards myself
As a result, I rarely questioned others and took the time to find out what I really wanted.
I was also very afraid of losing love or not being able to give love. I had rules that made it difficult for me to receive love and I only gave love where I felt safe in that I would not be judged or ridiculed for it.
When redesigned my value and I chose my three new top values, I wanted to keep the belief in every person's ability to grow, but as much in my own ability to grow.
I realized that the quality of the love that I gave or received would be better if I priorized a few other things before that. So love was placed as value number ten.
The first five were instead:
- Belief - in myself, humans and God
- Awareness, intelligence, wisdom
This change means that I now believe more in myself and my ability to make good decisions, I feel more secure now because I have a feeling of being guided. I listen to people, but before I decide what I want to do with what I hear I become aware of how it feels in my stomach.
Through wisdom I know what that feeling means and I have the courage to be honest with myself and others by saying what I really feel. It then also becomes easier to show my love and I have the courage to receive love.