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The 2 Types Of Co-Dependency & Why You Need Both – SC 26

By Jayson
December 2, 2015

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Co-dependency gets a bad rap in most circles. I used to shame it as well. Yet, as I’ve matured, I’ve come to see that there is a lot of value to be found in co-dependency, yet it’s important to know the difference between the more neurotic kind and the wisdom kind. In this episode I go into what co-dependency is, where it comes from, and how we can relate to it with grace and honesty in our long-term relationships.

SHOWNOTES:

  • How does Jayson define co-dependency? [1:30]
  • Our two fundamental drives as human beings [3:40]

[bctt tweet=”Co-dependency is a necessary and required part of long-term partnership.”]

  • The dance of authentic co-dependency [12:00]
  • What’s cool about the drive to be authentic… [17:00]

HELPFUL LINKS:

10 Agreements of an Indestructible Marriage

Codependency In Marriage

 
 


 
 

9 Comments

  1. Emily Orum

    I like this. Taking the judgment off co- dependency. I have been in recovery for years and am just in the past year really getting this….It’s all apart of the process of delving deeper into intimacy.
    I love knowing that it is beautiful to depend on your partner and lean on them…where are we leaning too far?

    Reply
    • meg@relationshipschool.com

      Hi Emily, apologies for the delay in replying. Congrats on your recovery and hope things are still strong in that department as its been 7 years since you wrote this message originally and we take it one day at a time =). As for your question, if you’re open to it I think the best place to pose your question is in the Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/therelationshipschool. Thank you for listening and supporting the community, take care =)

      Reply
  2. Quinn

    Hi Jayson, I appreciate and follow and agree with your logic. However I think the title of this needs to be changed. I listened through twice to this podcast. Nowhere do you actually define codependency as you see it. Also, what I deduced from this podcast is there are not 2 types of codependency, but rather codependent and interdependent/dependent, and should be labeled as such, rather than re-working a definition of codependency. Food for thought. Keep up the great work. I love it.

    Reply
    • Jayson

      Hey Quinn, Really valid point. I like it. I added a few comments. Should be up later today. Thanks!

      Reply
  3. EllenPearson

    Thanks for sending this podcast. It feels right to me. I understand the neurotic part and how it has come from the neurotic parts of myself. I can also understand the interdependent part because it has long been there, too. Finding the balance in myself is so reflected in the relationship. Finding the boundaries that constantly change as we change is tricky but challenging. Sometimes we get it right and sometimes not so much but it feels so great to get it right!

    Reply
  4. GP

    What if your honest self expression continues to cause pain for the people around you? Do you think it is still good then to strive for it?

    Reply
    • meg@relationshipschool.com

      hi GP, I’m not sure of the context as I haven’t heard this particular episode. I imagine that if you’re being true to yourself that needs to rank higher than how you show up for others, which may be a form of people-pleasing (especially if you’re sacrificing whats in your best interest for them). But this is all speculative, I’d like to answer/help but I’m not sure I have enough information. May be best to work with a Relationship Coach on this one: https://relationshipschool.com/myrelationshipcoach/

      Reply
  5. KatrinaNorton

    I am interdepenendant. I am trying to find my own friends and get my independace and be ok and know its ok to be my own self but i do want my ex boyfriend back I feel that he is the one, not sure how to get him to talk and open up to me, I was the one who left the relationship and now i feel it was a mistake it has been 5 months he no longer talks to me so I dont know what to next. My family and friends tell me to let him go and move on but in my being i know hes the one. What next?

    Reply
    • meg@relationshipschool.com

      Hi Katrina, sorry I’m not able to answer these questions, I’m not sure anyone can but you. It’s been 6 years (apologies for delay in replying) but I’d suggest working with a Relationship Coach (https://relationshipschool.com/myrelationshipcoach/) or therapist if these types of concerns are still plaguing you. Thank you for listening and hope you are well.

      Reply

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