Do men change? Can they overcome their blocks? Of course. But sometimes, they need a little permission or a nudge from another man. I’m always thrilled to meet men who help other men come out of their conditioning. This week, I interview Connor Beaton, who is doing just that through his ManTalks events. Check it out.
SHOWNOTES
What is ManTalks? [9:00]
The rock bottom that Connor experienced that caused him to shift his life. [10:30]
The two options that Connor chose between. [18:00]
How traditional masculinity is a pitfall for many men. [22:00]
What does Connor see as the main challenge for men in relationships? [24:30]
The unique role of women and personal growth. [26:00]
Some the things that make men’s work not as accessible to most men. [28:00]
Do you want more connection while your partner wants more space? One of the most common issues in a partnership is the distancer/pursuer dynamic. In the second of our two-part series, Ellen and I help the distancers understand and deal with your pursuing partner.
SHOWNOTES
What does it mean to the distancer with a pursuer partner? [7:00]
Is the pursuer really being needy when they want attention from a distancer? [10:00]
The link between a pursuer and their childhood relationship with their caregiver. [12:30]
A better way to ask for space. [15:00]
Why the pursuer can be an MVP in a long-term relationship. [19:30]
The grass is greener with that other person! I used to think this quietly in my mind all the time, no matter who I was with. In this episode, I share my personal drama with this mentality and what it’s really about. Not only that, I offer something to help you get through it. It might just make you more likely to commit to the one you’re with.
SHOWNOTES
Jayson shares his personal story about leaving relationships when the going got tough. [8:45]
The kinds of partners who will more likely have a “grass is greener” mentality. [11:00]
How closeness and space impact ambivalence. [13:00]
Will a new partner solve the current problem or bad feelings I’m having? [16:15]
Jayson’s recommendation if you’re wanting to jump from relationship to relationship. [18:00]
When the grass really is greener over there and it might be time to exit. [21:15]
It’s really normal to experience jealousy, depression, anger, intense attraction and so much more when you find yourself in a good relationship. Our relationships trigger the deepest of human emotions and experiences. In this episode, I answer some fun, very painful, and challenging questions from you the listener. Notice how all of these questions may bring up stuff from your past or present relationship and see if you can find the nugget in each question that you can learn something from.
SHOWNOTES
What’s really happening when someone says “you make me feel X”. [6:45]
Is it a mistake to stay with my husband who is a functioning alcoholic? [9:30]
How to deal with premature ejaculation after you’re married? [12:15]
One factor that will guarantee your relationship is doomed. [15:30]
How to get your boyfriend to talk more when all he wants is occasional texting? [16:30]
Can a guy be emotionally mature if he doesn’t like to talk about his feelings five months into a relationship? [18:15]
When a partner struggles with depression, how do deal with a big transition when moving to a new country? [21:45]
A partner goes MIA after his mother dies, does this mean the relationship over? [25:45]
Is there a limit to being too open and honest with your partner? [30:30]
Jealousy when your boyfriend has a lot of interaction with other women on Facebook? [34:00]
The best way to eliminate anger? [37:00]
Best approach for a couple that is going to be long-distance for two years? [40:30]
Personality disorders and loving yourself? [42:45]
How to regain trust when a partner refuses to open up? [47:15]
It is possible to rewire your brain in relationships and build inner strength. In fact, if you don’t work toward this, you’ll be in trouble down the road when the allostatic load catches up to you later in life. In this episode I interview Dr. Rick Hanson. He’s a passionate expert on mindfulness, the brain, neuroscience and relationships. We geek out on the intricacies of the brain but he also brings some very practical tools and insights on how we can improve our relationships by using the natural genius of our mind. Lots of notes to take on this one! Hang in there. It can get dense.
SHOWNOTES
Why Jayson was anti-marriage until age 34 [2:00]
How did Dr. Hanson get so passionate about brain science and relationships? [11:00]
A Native American story about love and hate [13:00]
Why is so difficult for couples to work their shit out? [17:30]
What are two lessons from the wiring of our ancestors’ nervous systems? [19:30]
Two practices to rewire your brain to build your inner psychological strength [22:00]
How to stop the negativity train of our mind when we’re already triggered [25:00]
Tips for developing ourselves before we get into a fight with our partners [32:30]
What happens in our brains when we are triggered by our partner? [46:00]
How being chronically frustrated, lonely, let down, disconnected impacts the brain and body. [51:30]
The ratio between positive interactions and negative interactions [60:00]
A 10-day challenge to the listener on how to radically shift the dynamic in your relationship. [65:00]
