Jayson, Author at The Relationship School®

Will Porn Ruin My Relationship? – SC 163

QUESTION: How okay do I have to be with my partner consuming pornographic images for pleasuring himself? What’s the place for porn in a growth and development oriented long term relationship?

I don’t actually feel okay with that at all regarding the fact that we don’t have a very active sex life. I know thoughts and fantasies are free and I should maybe not be mingling in that private area of his life. But it does hurt me deeply when I know he’s in the next room doing his thing while I am in mine sometimes longing for intimacy with him. It’s hard for us to find a routine with intimacy, because we don’t share a bed room. We sleep in different rooms, because of different rhythms, snoring and on account of me being a light sleeper.

But, how much porn use is okay, normal, do I have to be okay with? What’s the place for porn in a growth and development oriented long term relationship? I feel cheated upon,The fascination is with the pictures, not anymore with me, although I know I am attractive. He says my nagging turns him off, but my nagging is often about his checking out… Do I have to get okay with it? I find being loving and supportive and gentle with him extremely hard and my heart hardens because of what he does. Although he says, he loves me and the porn doesn’t mean anything and is just a quick inspiration. Very frustrating….

SHOWNOTES

What’s porn’s place in a relationship? [2:00]
How porn can negatively affect a relationship [5:00]
Porn is not the bad guy [7:00]
Porn, like any compulsion, can be a wedge between two people [10:00]
Ramifications of porn [12:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

The Purpose of Marriage and the Truth About Soulmates – Arielle Ford – SC 162

Arielle Ford explores the ups and downs of marriage, what to do with a new age nice guy, and how to rekindle the spark after stuckness. This week’s guest got married at age 44, and realized she sucked at listening and didn’t know anything about partnership. And now she teaches people all over the world the about the power of attraction, soul mates, and love.

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

Talking vs communicating [6:00]
The purpose of marriage [8:00]
Shocking facts about divorce [12:00]
Women: How to fill up your oxytocin tanks [17:00]
Men: How to rebuild testosterone [18:00]
Do both partners need to be into growth and development? [21:00]
Stepping back into your feminine after being in work-mode [27:00]
How to have a difficult conversation in a positive way [33:00]
How to lighten the mood when you’re triggered [38:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Arielle Ford has spent the past 30 years living and

promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is

the author of the international bestseller, THE SOULMATE

SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of

Attraction. Her book, Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate

offers a groundbreaking shift in perception showing couples how to have a deeper and more fulfilling relationship. Her latest book is Inkspirations: Love by Design: Coloring the Divine Path to Manifest Your Soulamtethe world’s first transformational coloring book.

Arielle has been called “The Cupid of Consciousness” and “The Fairy Godmother of Love.” She lives in La Jolla, CA with her husband/soulmate, Brian Hilliard and their feline friends.

Am I in An Abusive Relationship? – SC 161

QUESTION The fact that I even have to ask is sign enough. I want to ask both from your’s and your wife’s perspective. Do you think that I am in an emotionally abusive relationship?

A little background: His fuse is just so short. He talks to me like I’m a dog. I literally want to bug our house and play it back to him so he can realize how disrespectful he really is. I do love him and I don’t want to leave, but at this point, I cannot stand him and I hate what we’re doing to our kids. Yes, I realize I’m part of this too, but I am his cheerleader, his friend, his rock, everything. I’m so tired of being the emotional support for everyone and then getting shit on in return. I’m burned out myself. Please help my family.

SHOWNOTES

Defining emotional abuse [2:00]
Do you feel safe in your own home? [5:00]
It’s more complicated than ‘just leave [6:00]
How are you a part of your own abuse cycle? [7:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

What Keeps You From Finding The One – Katherine Woodward Thomas – SC 160

What does your intention have to do with creating a great relationship?
According to my guest, everything.
If you are single, what vibe are you putting out into the world to attract a mate? If you are partnered, what vibe are you putting into your relationship?
This week’s guest has so much to say about upgrading your story and your intention and how that can impact how fulfilled you are in your relationship (or future relationship). She also has some practical tips on how to do exactly that.

If you are trying to “call in the one”, or just trying to deepen with the one you have already, this interview is going to help you a ton!

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

Why do some women have a pattern of dating unavailable men? [11:00]
The power of setting intentions [14:00]
Self-limiting beliefs and ‘stories’ we tell ourselves [21:00]
Clearing up ‘the power of thoughts’ for skeptics [23:00]
A guided exercise with Katherine for finding your ‘false self’ [29:00]
How to talk to your inner child [34:00]
What to do when you’re really stuck in your own story [45:00]
Katherine’s go-to move for when she’s triggered [49:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO
Katherine Woodward Thomas, M.A., MFT is the author of the New York Times Bestseller Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After which was nominated for a Books for a Better Life Award, and the national bestseller, Calling in “The One:” 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life. She is also a licensed marriage and family therapist and teacher to thousands from all corners of the world in her virtual and in-person learning communities.Katherine is the originator of the Conscious Uncoupling process made famous by Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin as well as creator of the Calling in “The One:” 49 Days to Love online course. To date, Katherine has trained and credentialed hundreds of people as Certified Conscious Uncoupling Coaches and as Certified Calling in “The One” Coaches.

What To Do When You Get Defensive – SC 159

QUESTION

When my boyfriend gets triggered and shares his thoughts and feelings with me, how do I not take it personal and get defensive?

I feel like this creates a barrier between us when he is trying to reach out and I want to be with him in this moment. But I feel attacked even though I know he’s not attacking me – I can hear my shitty defensive tone of voice and feel my body language change. I also can’t get my thoughts clear enough to have a mature conversation with him, I’m all caught up in my own BS, it’s pathetic! How do I get past this and be present with him?
Kim – Fairfax VA