Podcast Archives - Page 54 of 83 - The Relationship School®

Millennials & Marriage – Kiyomi and Joel – SC 178

Wondering what you can learn from a millennial couple? Turns out it’s quite a bit!

Kiyomi and Joel are a mixed-race millennial couple that discovers how much their culture plays into their relationship. These two high school sweethearts grew up together and their system for growing together as they mature (as we all do) is inspiring.

Think where you come from isn’t a big part of your love life? Uncertain a couple so young can offer profound wisdom? Prepare to be surprised!

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

Kiyomi & Joel’s high school love story [9:00]
What is Relationship OCD? [12:00]
Joel’s secret for consistent happiness [17:00]
Couple discovers being mixed race affects them [21:00]
Kiyomi & Joel’s conflict management method [29:00]
What’s the secret to balancing work and relationship life? [35:00]
Jayson’s advice when planning a wedding [43:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

We met back in 2007 at a high school dance in Pennsylvania. A good friend had introduced us to each other and we immediately had a connection. We have been together for 10 years now, and have taken a break for maybe a couple months when Joel went to Spain. We have gone through a lot together – me having intense anxiety/OCD tendencies, my father and family members passing, moving together from Pennsylvania to Boulder and other situations that have brought made us extremely close. We got engaged last November and are currently planning our wedding.

I would say our relationship is the best it has ever been and a big part of it being so good is our willingness to constantly be better as human being. Joel has come from a very conscious family and has had a relatively good childhood with parents that were very loving and caring. I came from a bit of a rocky childhood, where my parents were caring but their relationship was very broken due to my father being an alcoholic. I say this because Joel has really taught me what a loving relationship looks like, and at times, I had wanted to run away due to my own fears and doubts that had been mirrored from my parents.

Joel and I are both entrepreneurs. He runs a marketing business here in Boulder and I am currently a yoga therapist/coach. I love working with people on spreading awareness on conscious relationships and I also love working with people who have anxiety. I have YouTube channel which have been going well and am wanting to create an online community off of my YouTube channel as well. I am currently going through an exam to become registered psychotherapist here in Boulder so I can further work with more people.

Struggles: Joel really likes to work a lot (I would say that he used to be a workaholic, although wouldn’t really admit it) and that has put a strain on our relationship many, many times. We have had many discussions where I didn’t feel he was prioritizing our relationship and where he would just be working 12+ hours a day. Sometimes we would do activities together but I never felt he was fully present. This has been a bit of an issue in our relationship, sometimes I feel that he would rather work than be present. Even when we are on a vacation, he seems to want to be working.

No kids, we are not married and we have one hound/pointer mix named Kai 🙂

How A Couple Recovered From Cheating – Leahnora & Noah – SC 177

Couples that survive the toughest relationship challenges are so impressive! Leahnora and Noah are one of those couples. Cheating nearly tore them apart but they made commitments to change themselves and now they’re stronger than ever before.

What did they do? How do they handle the baggage of their past?

Jayson explores the tough questions here. Also, Leahnora and Noah are still working through some common issues around sexuality and conflict and they share vulnerably about this as Jayson gives some relationship coaching.

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

- - How did Noah handle the cheating? [9:00]
  - Leahnora & Noah’s personal growth paths [15:00]
  - Defensiveness isn’t always bad [25:00]
  - Their open relationship experience [29:00]
  - Noah & Leahnora’s fighting style [35:00]
  - Trusting love’s message no matter the cost [40:00]
  - Jayson addresses their sexuality struggles [44:00]
  - When you’re both triggered [54:00]
  - Don’t respond with “That wasn’t my intent” [60:00]

If you would like to connect with Leahnora and/or Noah, they can be contacted at [email protected] and [email protected].

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Noah and Leahnora have been together for over 5 years, and got married summer 2017. Noah is 35 years and Leahnora is 34. They have two dogs but no kids (this is something they are excited about for the future). They went to high school together in San Diego, CA and now reside in Oakland, California. Noah works a real estate agent and Leahnora works for the California Department of Transportation as an environmental planner. They are both passionate about philosophy and the interconnection of humans, and navigating their way through the human condition. They have vowed to use their marriage as a container for a path to personal and couple awakening.

Leahnora and Noah’s struggles began early in their relationship. Leahnora was dating other guys while Noah was coming out of a spiritual quest in India. At the time, they couldn’t have been more opposite. Their first 3 years together were HELL. Leahnora was cheating and keeping secrets, and Noah was in his own bubble and stubbornly clinging to his self-righteous worldviews. Through years of hard work we were finally able to get on the same page and since Noah proposed, things have been wonderful.

Leahnora and Noah’s main issue is currently around sex. Noah wants more, and Leahnora could care less. About once a week, they get into the same argument. Noah thinks Leahnora doesn’t want sex because of her past unresolved trauma, and Leahnora is annoyed and frustrated that Noah is not truly understanding to give her the space to explore sexuality, in her own way. They both feel trapped. Leahnora is craving safety and Noah is craving sex.

They are looking for a way to find common ground, so that they both feel their needs getting adequately met.

Why Spiritually Developed People Struggle With Monogamy – Ellen & Jayson – SC 176

Is your spiritual growth helping your relationship? Are you collaborating with your partner to better yourself as an individual? Or are you going to your corner of the house to meditate all by yourself?

Their careers as therapists and decades of mediation experience have lead Jayson Gaddis and his wife Ellen Boeder to multiple spiritual development discoveries. Turns out even the most spiritually advanced amongst us struggle with relationships. Jayson and Ellen also encourage couples to discover how collaboration with a partner in times of stress can strengthen each individual.

This episode is full of tips for anyone interested in bettering themselves and their relationship at the same time!

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

- - How Ellen & Jayson Benefit from Spiritual Practice [2:00]
  - Even Spiritually Advanced People Struggle With Relationships [10:00]
  - Strengthening Relationships With Dependence [17:00]
  - Calming Down Together [20:00]
  - Where Spirituality Alone Falls Short [25:00]
  - When “Your” Triggers Should Be An “Us” Thing [33:00]

‘Win a Chance to be Coached By Jayson’

To celebrate my first book, The Smart Couple Quote Book and the Holiday Season, I am giving away 3 big prizes. 2nd place) $200 credit for any of my courses, 3rd place) $30 to be used in the Relationship School store and the Grand Prize is a 45-minute coaching session for you or you and your partner from me! Boom! Who’s in?

To enter to win you must go to the Jayson Gaddis Fan Page on Facebook and
1. Find the Contest Post
2. Like the contest post
3. Comment on the post with what you love about The Smart Couple Book
3. Share the post and tag 3 friends

AND extra bonus points:
For an extra 5 entries into the raffle, post a selfie of you on your social channels with the book tagging Jayson Gaddis OR leave a review of the book on Amazon. If you leave a review, email us a screenshot of your review at [email protected] . Make sure we see the tagged post as well. Send us an email as a back up with a link to your social post.

Contest is open to anyone in the world until December 10 at 11:59p MT. Winners will be announced on the Smart Couple Podcast and Facebook on Wednesday, December 13th.

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Ellen Boeder is a psychotherapist in private practice in Boulder, Colorado. Since 2004, she has worked primarily with women and is now incorporating couple therapy into her practice. Her theoretic approach includes transpersonal psychology, developmental attachment theory, family systems, and somatic and energetic modalities. For couple therapy she also utilizes Stan Tatkin’s model, the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT). She is inspired to support women and couple’s heal and grow in ways that liberate their authentic selves.

Embracing Gender Differences & Hormones – John Gray – SC 175

According to John Gray, women are embracing their masculine side and men their feminine side more than ever before and our new behavior is significantly influencing our biology and the new challenges that we face in our most intimate relationships.

John Gray, author of Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, says that as gender roles change, so are our hormones, making many relationships … well, complicated.

As Jayson finds out in this episode, John Gray is willing to stir up controversy to prove traditional gender roles and behavior shouldn’t be abandoned completely if we want to be physically healthy and happy in our relationships.

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

- - Who is John Gray? [9:00]
  - Stop the blame game [17:00]
  - Putting on your masculine or feminine “hat” [20:00]
  - Relationships in the era of gender neutrality [23:00]
  - The science behind “male” vs “female” qualities [34:00]
  - Is the angry man a feminized man? [39:00]
  - Pesticides and hormones [43:00]
  - Balancing our male and female sides [54:00]
  - Ladies, venting is good for you [57:00]
  - Changing diet to correct hormonal imbalance [1:09:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. In hardcover, it was the #1 bestselling book of the 1990s. Dr. Gray’s books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller.

Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships.

John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance.

His many books, blogs and free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love. An advocate of health and optimal brain function, he also provides natural solutions for overcoming depression, anxiety and stress to support increased energy, libido, hormonal balance and better sleep.

He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. He was also the subject of a three hour special hosted by Barbara Walters.

John Gray lives in Northern California with his wife, Bonnie. They have been happily married for over 30 years and have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice.

Order Jayson’s new book here:

Details About the Smart Couple Quote Book – SC 174

The Smart Couple Quote Book is out!

This is a relationship book is unique for sure. Add tools to your relationship toolbox with just a minute of reading a day.

You will learn radically simple ways to avoid pointless fights, have better sex, and build an indestructible partnership and you can turn any page to get movement in that direction.

Where you can get the Smart Couple Quote Book:

On AMAZON right here.

If you live locally, you can also get it at the Book Signing at the Boulder Bookstore on December 5th

ABOUT THE BOOK:

The Smart Couple Quote Book is a beacon of light for growth and development oriented couples. You will learn radically simple ways to avoid pointless fights, have better sex, and build an indestructible partnership. With these tools, you’ll be able to turn any relationship challenge into a powerful healing opportunity that deepens and strengthens your love. This book is for couples and individuals who are motivated to understand themselves and work on themselves in order to earn a safe, sexy, and successful partnership.

Healing Relational Trauma In The Body – Sharon Stanley – SC 173

Unsure why certain interactions with loved ones get you so upset? Ever struggle to relate to the hardship of others?

Psychotherapist Sharon Stanley says the issue could be trauma, trauma you may not even be aware you have. Once we assess our own trauma we can begin exercising our senses and become more compassionate to others.

According to Sharon, we owe it to ourselves and to each other to consider the pain in our pasts, only then can we embody true empathy!

Here are a few of the highlights:

SHOWNOTES

- - Who is Sharon Stanley? [6:00]
  - The best ways to connect with a traumatized person [11:00]
  - Interacting with a partner with trauma [16:00]
  - Building strength within the body to address trauma [20:00]
  - Are you dealing with trauma? [25:00]
  - The cost of ignoring trauma [26:00]
  - Is neglect the worst type of trauma? [30:00]
  - The importance of being embodied [35:00]

HELPFUL LINKS

GUEST BIO

Dr. Sharon Stanley is a psychotherapist, educator and writer living on Bainbridge Island, Washington. As a long time student of Dr. Allan Schore, Sharon has integrated a number of somatic practices for healing trauma into an elegant, cohesive, relational and phenomenological model of psychotherapy, Somatic Transformation. At the core of Somatic Transformation is the practice of feeling into another’s inner world; a bodily based attunement, connectivity and inquiry that animates the intersubjective field and

guides the use of somatic interventions and reflection. Grounded in relational research on trauma, guided by the Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges, inspired by the soul work of Donald Kalsched, Sharon has taught this model to hundreds of practitioners over the past 20 years. She continues to explore somatic ways of knowing, relating and psychological processing from a phenomenological perspective through the lenses of her own clinical practice, neuroscience and nature-based practices. In addition to her in-depth courses for practicing psychotherapists, Sharon has worked extensively with First Nations people in Canada, studied Afro-Brazilian practices of healing the residue of the trauma of slavery in Brazil and is currently on the faculty for Antioch University in Seattle. In 2016, Routledge published her book: Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past. (2016) Routledge.